Context Free Theatre - Evil Laughter
Sep. 8th, 2005 07:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seandcEver wonder what Alfred gets up to in between appearances on the comics page? When such wonderings can lead to lines such as "Alfred, there are times there is just a little bit of the scheming bat in you." who knows where it might lead?
Context Free Theatre presents: Evil Laughter
Anna1: Alfred probably schemes all the time, and nobody can stand up to him.
Sean DC: Who knows what happens behind the scenes.
Anna1: Alfred watches them all, plans things, and laughs evilly.
Sean DC: If only his moustache was a little longer so he could twirl it.
Tim: I hear evil laughter. Is The Joker here?
Dick: Oh, I hope not.
Bruce: That's just Alfred. Evil laughter echoes in this house. He's just plotting against us all.
Dick: Eep.
Bruce: You mean you didn't notice in all the years you lived here?
Dick: No. I did hear strange chuckles, but I thought it was just you going over the edge.
Bruce: *Glares.*
Dick: Well, weren't you insane?
Bruce: A little...and sometimes, in the dark of night--when nobody else was around--Alfred and I would laugh evilly. Together. It was our bonding time.
Tim: *Backs away slowly.*
Dick: *runs.*
Alfred: Master Dick, where might you be going at this hour?
Dick: Uh...out! *runs*
Alfred: Is Master Dick well, sir? He was behaving most oddly when he ran into me just then.
Bruce: Oh, he just found out about the evil laughter sessions and got freaked out.
*Dick can be seen briefly through the window, using Phoenix powers to fly away quickly*
Bruce and Alfred: Bwahahahahahahahahahaaaa!
Tim: :eep:
Tim: If only I were a Phoenix! *Finds a cellphone.* Cass! Quick! Take me away from all this!
Cass: *Shows up out of the shadows.*
Tim: That was quick!
Cass: *Tosses him over her shoulder-and swings into the night. Right behind Dick.*
Bruce: Aww....I wanted to mess with his mind some more!
Alfred: Indeed sir... we could have taken this opportunity to introduce the lad into the wonderful world of evil laughter.
Bruce: Yes...of course, he'll probably hear enough of it from Babs if they all go there.
Alfred: Indeed, Sir. Mistress Barbara learned well from me.
Meanwhile:
Dick: Egads that was creepy!
Babs: What was honey?
Dick: I was just at the mansion... did you know Bruce and Alfred used to have evil-laughing sessions?
Babs: No! Get out!
Dick: It's true! *shudders*
Babs: Well, come here and I'll take your mind off it...
Dick: Oh rrrreally? I like the sound of this *winks and sits next to Babs*
Babs: *puts her arms around him* Aha! Now I've got you! AAAhahahahahahaha!!
Dick: Not you, too! *Flies away.* *Sees Tim and Cass.*
Tim: Don't leave us!
Dick: Got you two! *Flies them away from there.*
Dick: And that is what happened.
Tim: Wow. You're good at flashbacks.
Dick: Of course I'm good! I projected them into your mind!
And on the phone:
Babs:... yeah, and then he blanched and ran away...
Bruce: Ahahahahahaaaa!!
Alfred, Bruce, and Babs: Ahahahahahaaaa!!
Babs: Yeah, we're good.
Tim: Think we should try the evil laughter?
Dick: No! Do you want to go to Arkham? Have a discussion on the best type of laughter with The Joker?!
Tim: No!
Dick: Then, we hide until they stop the evil laughter.
A familiar voice: Well, that could take a good long while!
Tim: Help, they've found us!
Dick: Wait, it's ok... she's a Phoenix!
Phoenix-Babs: Yeah, hi! I'm not the same person you're hiding from...
Cass: The firey-hair was a give-away.
Dick: Robin, Batgirl, meet Phoenix-Batwoman of another dimension!
Tim: So...how many Phoenixes, Phoenixi, whatever! How many of you are there, anyway?
Dick: Does it really matter now?
Tim: No...we need to stop the evil laughter.
PBabs: Like I said, that could take a while, if they're anything like their counterparts in my dimension are... or were. Bruce was laughing evilly in his downtime until the day he died. And stop that recorder Batgirl.
Cass: *looks up defiantly* Superman said he'd pay me to get any more notes about Phoenixes.
Tim: Give me that! *erases the tape.*
Cass: *Gets out her extra--that's been recording.*
Tim: Argh! I think I give up.
Cass: *evil grin*
Tim: Not ready to be carried away at the moment. We need to plot.
PBabs: And I have just the person for it.
Mysterious Voice: Indeed, Madam. I shall do my best.
Tim: There's a Phoenix Alfred too?!
Dick: There's probably a Phoenix Commissioner Gordon, too. That's just how bizarre our lives are!
Tim: I'll drink to that!
Cass: *whips out a bottle from her utility belt*
Tim: Thanks... and just how many things to you have in there?
Cass: I'll show you later...
Tim: La...ohhh...
Dick and PBabs: *nudge eachother giggling*
PAlfred: *takes the bottle from Tim* I doubt that would appropriate in this dimension, Master Tim. I know it's not in mine.
Tim: Indeed, Alfred. Indeed....
PBabs: *giggling.*
Tim, continuing: ...You don't say. That's the story of my life!
Cass: *carries him away.*
Tim: o/" "Ah sweet mystery of life at last I've found you...!"
Dick: He's...singing now?! (Anna1: I'm so sorry. There was an episode of Designing Women where someone sang that. :lol:)
PAlfred: Macabre, isn't it?
PBabs: Could be worse. It could've been Bruce who taught him.
*all the Phoenixes in all the dimensions shudder*
Bruce: Bwahahaha... HEY!
Bruce: I hear something, Alfred!
Alfred: What is it, Sir?
Bruce: It's...it's....Cass and Tim! Thinking loudly--and singing! Ow, my brain!
Alfred: And thus does the maniacal laughter end.
Bruce: And thus does the horror of Tim and Cass begin! My eyes! My eyes! My thoughts!
Alfred: *comforts him.*
*the other Phoenixes burst through the door*
Alfred: Master Dick! Miss Barbara... My word!
PAlfred: Good evening Alfred. I must say I approve of the way in which this house is kept. I couldn't have done it better myself.
Alfred: Good evening Alfred, and thank you for your kind praise.
Bruce: aaahhh...
Alfred: I'm afraid it's his telepathy. It's too strong, and linked to certain minds which give him bad mental images.
PBabs: Bad mental images?
Dick: *blushes and looks everywhere but at her*
PBabs: Oh.
PAlfred: I see what you mean, old man. I'm somewhat perturbed myself. Although not terribly surprised.
Alfred: The same in your dimension?
PAlfred: Between the Robins and the Batgirls past and present? Indeed. I fancy it's the same everywhere... *both Alfreds look at their companions*
Dick: Hey, you already did me!
PBabs: *blushes* I.. er.. aren't we meant to be helping Bruce?
Bruce: *moans pitifully*
PAlfred: We should take him somewhere he's out of telepathic range of Miss Cassandra and Master Tim.
Dick: The White Hot Room?
PBabs: The White Hot Room. But you should stay here, in case your thinking of m...her hurts him more.
Tim/Cassandra: *grin and purposely think much, much louder.*
Bruce: ARGH! NO MORE!
Dick: Hmmm...yep - broke him.
PAlfred: Miss Barbara! Take his arm...
*PAlfred and PBabs hold Bruce up and all three vanish. Fade to white as...*
Tim/Cass: BWahahahahahahahaha!!
The end... for now... mweh heh heh.
Context Free Theatre presents: Evil Laughter
Anna1: Alfred probably schemes all the time, and nobody can stand up to him.
Sean DC: Who knows what happens behind the scenes.
Anna1: Alfred watches them all, plans things, and laughs evilly.
Sean DC: If only his moustache was a little longer so he could twirl it.
Tim: I hear evil laughter. Is The Joker here?
Dick: Oh, I hope not.
Bruce: That's just Alfred. Evil laughter echoes in this house. He's just plotting against us all.
Dick: Eep.
Bruce: You mean you didn't notice in all the years you lived here?
Dick: No. I did hear strange chuckles, but I thought it was just you going over the edge.
Bruce: *Glares.*
Dick: Well, weren't you insane?
Bruce: A little...and sometimes, in the dark of night--when nobody else was around--Alfred and I would laugh evilly. Together. It was our bonding time.
Tim: *Backs away slowly.*
Dick: *runs.*
Alfred: Master Dick, where might you be going at this hour?
Dick: Uh...out! *runs*
Alfred: Is Master Dick well, sir? He was behaving most oddly when he ran into me just then.
Bruce: Oh, he just found out about the evil laughter sessions and got freaked out.
*Dick can be seen briefly through the window, using Phoenix powers to fly away quickly*
Bruce and Alfred: Bwahahahahahahahahahaaaa!
Tim: :eep:
Tim: If only I were a Phoenix! *Finds a cellphone.* Cass! Quick! Take me away from all this!
Cass: *Shows up out of the shadows.*
Tim: That was quick!
Cass: *Tosses him over her shoulder-and swings into the night. Right behind Dick.*
Bruce: Aww....I wanted to mess with his mind some more!
Alfred: Indeed sir... we could have taken this opportunity to introduce the lad into the wonderful world of evil laughter.
Bruce: Yes...of course, he'll probably hear enough of it from Babs if they all go there.
Alfred: Indeed, Sir. Mistress Barbara learned well from me.
Meanwhile:
Dick: Egads that was creepy!
Babs: What was honey?
Dick: I was just at the mansion... did you know Bruce and Alfred used to have evil-laughing sessions?
Babs: No! Get out!
Dick: It's true! *shudders*
Babs: Well, come here and I'll take your mind off it...
Dick: Oh rrrreally? I like the sound of this *winks and sits next to Babs*
Babs: *puts her arms around him* Aha! Now I've got you! AAAhahahahahahaha!!
Dick: Not you, too! *Flies away.* *Sees Tim and Cass.*
Tim: Don't leave us!
Dick: Got you two! *Flies them away from there.*
Dick: And that is what happened.
Tim: Wow. You're good at flashbacks.
Dick: Of course I'm good! I projected them into your mind!
And on the phone:
Babs:... yeah, and then he blanched and ran away...
Bruce: Ahahahahahaaaa!!
Alfred, Bruce, and Babs: Ahahahahahaaaa!!
Babs: Yeah, we're good.
Tim: Think we should try the evil laughter?
Dick: No! Do you want to go to Arkham? Have a discussion on the best type of laughter with The Joker?!
Tim: No!
Dick: Then, we hide until they stop the evil laughter.
A familiar voice: Well, that could take a good long while!
Tim: Help, they've found us!
Dick: Wait, it's ok... she's a Phoenix!
Phoenix-Babs: Yeah, hi! I'm not the same person you're hiding from...
Cass: The firey-hair was a give-away.
Dick: Robin, Batgirl, meet Phoenix-Batwoman of another dimension!
Tim: So...how many Phoenixes, Phoenixi, whatever! How many of you are there, anyway?
Dick: Does it really matter now?
Tim: No...we need to stop the evil laughter.
PBabs: Like I said, that could take a while, if they're anything like their counterparts in my dimension are... or were. Bruce was laughing evilly in his downtime until the day he died. And stop that recorder Batgirl.
Cass: *looks up defiantly* Superman said he'd pay me to get any more notes about Phoenixes.
Tim: Give me that! *erases the tape.*
Cass: *Gets out her extra--that's been recording.*
Tim: Argh! I think I give up.
Cass: *evil grin*
Tim: Not ready to be carried away at the moment. We need to plot.
PBabs: And I have just the person for it.
Mysterious Voice: Indeed, Madam. I shall do my best.
Tim: There's a Phoenix Alfred too?!
Dick: There's probably a Phoenix Commissioner Gordon, too. That's just how bizarre our lives are!
Tim: I'll drink to that!
Cass: *whips out a bottle from her utility belt*
Tim: Thanks... and just how many things to you have in there?
Cass: I'll show you later...
Tim: La...ohhh...
Dick and PBabs: *nudge eachother giggling*
PAlfred: *takes the bottle from Tim* I doubt that would appropriate in this dimension, Master Tim. I know it's not in mine.
Tim: Indeed, Alfred. Indeed....
PBabs: *giggling.*
Tim, continuing: ...You don't say. That's the story of my life!
Cass: *carries him away.*
Tim: o/" "Ah sweet mystery of life at last I've found you...!"
Dick: He's...singing now?! (Anna1: I'm so sorry. There was an episode of Designing Women where someone sang that. :lol:)
PAlfred: Macabre, isn't it?
PBabs: Could be worse. It could've been Bruce who taught him.
*all the Phoenixes in all the dimensions shudder*
Bruce: Bwahahaha... HEY!
Bruce: I hear something, Alfred!
Alfred: What is it, Sir?
Bruce: It's...it's....Cass and Tim! Thinking loudly--and singing! Ow, my brain!
Alfred: And thus does the maniacal laughter end.
Bruce: And thus does the horror of Tim and Cass begin! My eyes! My eyes! My thoughts!
Alfred: *comforts him.*
*the other Phoenixes burst through the door*
Alfred: Master Dick! Miss Barbara... My word!
PAlfred: Good evening Alfred. I must say I approve of the way in which this house is kept. I couldn't have done it better myself.
Alfred: Good evening Alfred, and thank you for your kind praise.
Bruce: aaahhh...
Alfred: I'm afraid it's his telepathy. It's too strong, and linked to certain minds which give him bad mental images.
PBabs: Bad mental images?
Dick: *blushes and looks everywhere but at her*
PBabs: Oh.
PAlfred: I see what you mean, old man. I'm somewhat perturbed myself. Although not terribly surprised.
Alfred: The same in your dimension?
PAlfred: Between the Robins and the Batgirls past and present? Indeed. I fancy it's the same everywhere... *both Alfreds look at their companions*
Dick: Hey, you already did me!
PBabs: *blushes* I.. er.. aren't we meant to be helping Bruce?
Bruce: *moans pitifully*
PAlfred: We should take him somewhere he's out of telepathic range of Miss Cassandra and Master Tim.
Dick: The White Hot Room?
PBabs: The White Hot Room. But you should stay here, in case your thinking of m...her hurts him more.
Tim/Cassandra: *grin and purposely think much, much louder.*
Bruce: ARGH! NO MORE!
Dick: Hmmm...yep - broke him.
PAlfred: Miss Barbara! Take his arm...
*PAlfred and PBabs hold Bruce up and all three vanish. Fade to white as...*
Tim/Cass: BWahahahahahahahaha!!
The end... for now... mweh heh heh.
