seandc

Now we find another fanfic series,

faith_of_borg simply refers to it as the J'onnverse, so I don't know the fic names or author credits or anything useful to identify them all. Yeah, I'm smrt.

Context Fusion Theatre presents: The J'onnverse - Puppy

*reads fanfic.*

J'onn married Batman. In a private ceremony, since it wouldn't have worked with him in his true form in front of the world. He's now J'onn Wayne.
*rimshot*

"Over his shoulder, I see Tim handing a champagne flute to Bruce, and when Dick releases me, Tim hands me one as well. "Dude," he remarks, "does this mean we have to call you J'onn Wayne?"

Cassandra is confused by that. Bruce actually grins.
*forbids Tim from making any more puns*
Good idea. :D
Yes - making bad puns is my job! :lol:

Bruce had gone through a lot with J'onn at this point. J'onn vanished, so Bruce followed him to Mars without a spacesuit. J'onn died, the Martian Gods were trying to destroy Earth, Bruce went nuts sobbing, begging them to bring J'onn back, having an argument with J'onn's ghost.

"I'm Batman. I can breathe in space."
In this case, it's true. And I was hoping you'd say that. :lol: Bruce has a symbiote. It made a layer of air, for him.
*points* Goa'uld! Goa'uld!
Not a Go'auld. More like the looks of Venom's symbiote, but not evil.
Like that nice Tok'ra fellow... Tanith! :P
Not quite. :D

By the end, he did get J'onn back. His costume had seen better days, though.
Costume? Better days? You mean.... J'onn's new call sign is Marvel Girl?! :gasp!:
No. :lol: Bruce's costume had seen better days. :lol:
Costume? Better days? You mean.... Bruce's new call sign is Marvel Girl?! :gasp!:
No. :lol:
Well, yes, it would be more likely Dick or Tim to take to wearing a miniskirt.... :P
This is true. :D

"Batman moved slowly, turning to meet Dick's eyes. His cowl was battered and streaked with white, and his cape looked almost sandblasted.

"Are you all right?" Dick asked carefully. A fair question, he considered, sounding solicitous enough without being overly concerned. Of course he would need to know if there were injuries to be attended.

Batman looked at him a moment longer, then answered, "Physically, yes."

"He sat for a long moment, and finally rose heavily from his chair. With careful, deliberate gestures, he unfastened his cape and cowl, pulling both around to study them.

"I think that one's seen better days," Dick noted gently.

"Yes," Bruce agreed. He stood regarding it a moment longer, and Dick waited quietly, leaning against the lab table that the tea tray sat on. "I think I'll retire this one."

Dick raised an eyebrow a bit, but stayed silent. Retire. Not discard. Not refurbish. "

And the symbiote:
"Bruce nodded, reaching his free hand down to his belt as he ate. Dick thought he was going to unclasp it, but instead he opened one of the pouches and held his hand palm up beside it. A small tentacled shape twined through his fingers and wound its way up his hand to his wrist.

The zo'ok, Dick realized suddenly, wondering if that was the explanation for how Bruce was able to teleport to an inhospitable planet so woefully underequipped.

As if in answer to his unvoiced wondering, Bruce said, "Poor little thing had its work cut out for it today." His tone was uncharacteristically regretful.

Bruce: And now, it must feast on YOUR BRAINS!!

No, thankfully. :D At one point, it purrs while Bruce is asleep. :lol:

He took a final bite of sandwich, then lifted his free hand palm up. The zo'ok flowed liquidly into his cupped palm, and he studied it.

Dick stepped forward to hand him a glass of juice, looking at the little creature as he did so. It pooled bluely in Bruce's hand, although for all its liquidity didn't seem likely to spill.

"Can you tell me about it?" Dick asked, his eyes rising to Bruce's face as he took a sip of his own juice.

"J'onn gave it to me," Bruce explained absently, letting his thumb stroke across its smooth surface. At the touch, the zo'ok shifted shape, becoming more like a tightly furled flower bud. "This is its natural form."

"A flower?" This hadn't really been what Dick had been asking about, but it felt important to let Bruce talk.

"Yes. Symbiotic." The zo'ok stretched itself, again entwining Bruce's fingers. A faint hint of a smile crossed Bruce's face, and Dick marveled at it.

"With humans, too?" Dick wondered.

"Not perfectly. It feeds on thought patterns, emotional well-being - or as near as I can figure. J'onn doesn't really know - the bond is so seamless between Martians and zo'ok."

The symbiote is J'onn's clothes. J'onn has his own symbiote. His was shredded, and one survived and grew from what was left over, while the rest regenerated. He gave the new one to Bruce.
:eek: Get the poor li'l zo'ok out of there, there's barely a snack around!
Actually, Bruce has a lot of emotional problems. Perfect for the little thing. :lol: He also makes it turn into a batarang. At one point, it did a lot for him. Then, it gets little legs, runs over to a door, opens it by turning into a key, and runs back to Bruce, turning back into it's natural form.
A hand? *click click*
No, a key. :D
It's Dawn!

"So J'onn has one, too?"

Bruce glanced up at this question. "His clothes," he explained. "I have to remind him to dust his wardrobe in Denver and make a show of doing laundry once in a while, since zo'ok is all he ever wears. Well, mostly, anyway." There was fondness in Bruce's voice.

"Well, that explains a lot," Dick remarked, finishing his juice in a long swallow. There was a sound on the stairs, and the zo'ok zipped up Bruce's sleeve faster than thought. "Shy?" Dick asked.

Bruce shook his head. "Just - defensive. It already knows you."

It was hiding from Alfred.
bigscaryman! big 'ard man!
Possibly. :D
Well, he did come down shouting about sending people 'ome in the back of a divvy van! :lol:
This should have happened. :D

Bruce: Alfred?
Alfred: Yes, Master Bruce?
Bruce: My symbiote is afraid of you. Now, I'm going upstairs for a nap.
Alfred: Symbiote?!

And a big stone donut in the cave begins to spin and glow :lol:
I doubt it. :lol:
"Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"

Alfred: Do you mean a Goa'uld, Master Bruce?!
Bruce: No. Want to see Ace?
Alfred: Ace?
Bruce: *the little symbiote peeks out of his sleeve.*
Alfred: Well, this is fascinating. As if our lives couldn't get any weirder.
Bruce: It can turn into a Batarang and open locked doors!
Alfred: This explains your fondness for the little guy.

Bruce: Want to see Ace?
Alfred: Ace?
*a tall man in a silver flight suit and silly wig steps out from the shadows*
Ace Rimmer: Alfie, old salt, how's it going? The name's Commander Rimmer, friends call me Ace. I've come from another dimension I'll explain later...."

*did not steal him from Red Dwarf, nope*

Bruce: You're not Ace! Ace is my symbiote!
*Stargate spins in the cave.*
Bruce: Stop that!
*Stargate stops.*

Elsewhere...
Sam: Sir? This location isn't working. We'll try again later...

Here's the part where it purrs.

"He phased through the door rather than opening it, unwilling to wake Bruce just yet. The bedroom was pitch dark, but his eyes adjusted quickly to reveal Bruce curled fetally on his side, tension faintly screaming from his body even as he slept. Further inspection revealed Ace curled against its master's hand in the shape of a furry it had assumed on that night J'onn had given Bruce the little creature. As he neared the bed, J'onn realized Ace was purring, trying to soothe Bruce."

It's cute--and at least it isn't like the Venom symbiote. It hasn't tried to take over someone's body.
Yet :lol:

Dick: Bruce? You ok?
Bruce: Not Bruce. Ace!
Dick: *backs away slowly.*
Bruce: Sorry! We were trying something out.
Dick: *stares*
Bruce: It's me--I'm Bruce.
Dick: You're sure?

Alfred: Master Ace? Time for your weekly bath.
Ace: *hides up Bruce's sleeve.*
Bruce: It's ok. He won't hurt you.
Ace: *sends thoughts.*
Bruce: Oh? I see...
Dick: What did it say?
Bruce: Too much starch. Alfred puts him in the washing machine.
Alfred: Just the once. He was disguised as your costume, Sir!
Bruce: I wonder if it's supposed to have a bath?
Dick: Poor little guy.
Bruce: Want to hold him?
Dick: And get bonded with a symbiote? I don't think so!

Alfred probably has like a car-wash sized washing machine!
True. For all the stuff he ends up washing each day. :D
Well, that and he does have the resources of the entire Wayne empire at his disposal :lol:

After everything that happened to Bruce and J'onn on Mars, this is a cute scene. :D

"But you can't hear it anymore. The great voice."

"No, I can't," J'onn replied.

Bruce buried his face in J'onn's neck, kissing him. "J'onn, I'm so sorry." His mind projected genuine grief for J'onn's loss with a hint of self-chastisement for his own selfishness.

"It's okay," J'onn reassured, kissing his forehead. "I will miss it, but you are teaching me to hear other voices."

He felt Bruce smile against his neck. "Hey," he grumbled teasingly, "don't go and start hearing voices on me. We've got enough personality issues in this family."

Bruce hears enough voices for the both of them. J'onn checked. There's quite a few in there. :lol:
And then there's various other voices to be heard (which usually turn out to be Oracle just messing with everyone...)
True. :D There's Bruce, Brucie, Matches Malone, Batman, and "the little boy." Those are the ones that J'onn has been able to identify. The Batman personality apparently went on a bit of a vacation for a little while, after being visited by a giant celestial being that was the equivalent of a giant puppy made of stars. (Don't ask.) After that, the Batman personality gave up for a week.

And Bruce went into space, protected by J'onn, and went to play with the giant celestial puppy.

"Even being warned of a plelloch's nature didn't quite prepare Bruce for the telepathic response which translated through J'onn to him. "MARTIAN! Oboyoboyoboy!"

"It really is a puppy", Bruce remarked.

"Shh", J'onn directed, walking to the jumpship's hatch."

"Plelloch do not understand sadness", J'onn explained softly, filtering out still more of the plelloch's clamor. "And they don't dwell for long on disappointment. You'll see."

As if on cue, the howling ceased, replaced by the telepathic equivalent of a sniffle. *But I wanted to play.*

"A bit self-centered", Bruce remarked, earning a chuckle from J'onn.

"I did say puppy, right?" the Martian reminded him. "Although I could've compared it to an intercelestial two year old."

It had to tone down the lights, and sound, before J'onn could let Bruce out. Otherwise, it would have blinded him, burned him, and driven him insane.

** =telepathy, rather than speech. They're in space, after all.

*The plelloch has created an atmosphere where it will be safe for you if I open you to it. Are you ready-?*

*You're here.* Total trust. J'onn had rarely seen Bruce so amenable to anything, and certainly not over such a stretch of time. He wondered if the plelloch's influence was tangible through their telepathic link, or if perhaps a plelloch could touch minds which could not really reach it. Either way, it merited mention.

*I should warn you before we do this - a plelloch touches certain parts of the mind - *

*I'm sure it will be fine.* That actually was the Bat, guarded, protective - and trusting.

*tries to find the part of the story where Bruce giggles while playing with the intergalactic puppy.*

Within that thing's atmosphere it lets him fly. Bruce thinks it's fun. He laughs a lot, so I'm assuming the Batman personality decided to stay on vacation for a while. :D
Batman... giggle?
Yes, but he's Bruce at the time.
Bruceman... giggle?
Yes. :D

"Bruce laughed and pursued, moving too swiftly to evade J'onn's sudden capturing move which enfolded him in wreaths of mint julep. J'onn reveled in Bruce's surprise, then felt it become his own as searching fingers tickled his midsection and mischief rolled across his emotions.

Once again, he released Bruce, although he maintained the thin tether he couldn't bear to relinquish. Bruce seemed unaware of it - but as soon as the thought crossed J'onn's mind, Bruce had caught him in an embrace from behind, spinning J'onn easily as he projected, *I know you're there. It is just that it feels like an extension of me.*

Bruce smiled, then - the kind of smile that J'onn imagined would be his if the child Bruce had been at six had lived a life sans bullets and become a man under the tutelage of loving parents.

Basically, he was running, playing, laughing, flying, and tickling while under the influence of an intergalactic celestial puppy. They were trying to convince it to leave Earth alone, since it might break it.

Bruce has obviously been a bit sidetracked. :lol:
*waves shiny things in front of Bruce* :lol:
He would probably follow them at that point. :lol:

*J'onn drags Bruce inside. Bruce giggles a lot.*
Dick: What happened to him?
J'onn: He's under the influence of a giant intergalactic celestial puppy.
Dick: O...kay....I'll just be on the Watchtower.

On it? In other words, he forgot his key...

J'onn: Ah, so you will suffocate on the moon?
Dick: Yeah--got a key?
J'onn: Take Ace.

Later...
J'onn: Superman, have you see Bruce?
Superman: Funny you should ask. He streaked through about a minute ago.
J'onn: Oh? He ran fast?
Superman: He ran fast, and he ran naked. Giggling. Jumping.
J'onn: Sorry.
Superman: Sorry doesn't help Diana! He hugged her while naked!
J'onn: Scarred for life?
Superman: Yes. What's wrong with him?
J'onn: He's possessed by a giant intergalactic celestial puppy.
Superman: Why am I not surprised?

J'onn: Did Diana injure Bruce?
Superman: Slightly. She lifted him, and threw him. He landed on Flash--who was running, and ended running into a wall. Bruce giggled the whole time.

Superman: Just a moment--he's singing now!
J'onn: What's he singing?
Superman: We are as Gods! He just stole Diana's toga!

Superman: Give me that toga!
Bruce: *giggles. tosses toga over his head.*
Superman: I'd like it if the normal Bruce could come back. Giggling Bruce is scary.
Diana: Not as scary as me if he doesn't give my toga back! Come here, little Bruce. Come to me and die!
Superman: Run, Bruce--first, give me the toga!
Bruce: *gives toga, and giggles.*
Superman: You're reminding me of The Joker at this point.
Bruce: *hugs him.*
Superman: Gah! Giant puppy of doom!
Giant Puppy Bruce? *SLURP!* :lol:
Superman: Ah! Naked Bruce licking me! Help!
Babs: "Naked. Bruce. Licking. Me." So wrong, and yet, so saved!

Babs: Dick, you need to go to the Watchtower! Get even more pictures!
Dick: Of what?
Babs: You'll know when you get there! *evil grin.*

*Dick beams up.*
Superman: Stop licking me! Stop!!!!
Dick: This is scary--and it must be what Babs wanted me to see...
Bruce: *jumps on Superman.*
Dick: Ah! Scarred for life!
Bruce: *sees Dick, runs to him, and sniffs him.*
Dick: This is getting scary. Babs! Help!
Babs: You're doing fine hon! Hmm... decisions, decisions... see if you can get him to run to Clark again!
Clark: *picking self up just to see Bruce bounding towards him again* NOOOO!!

Flash: *regains consciousness* What the--?
Bruce: *runs and licks him.*
Flash: Eww. Let me guess--he's possessed?
Superman: Yeah. Not again! NOOOOO!!!!
Flash: I think he likes you.
Superman: *similar to Bat Glare.*
Bruce: *whimpers.*
Dick: Aww. You're scaring him.

Superman: How do we exorcise an intergalactic puppy from a person?
Diana: Good question.
Flash: I think I like him this way.
Everyone: *stares*
Flash: Not naked, of course.

J'onn: *beams in.*
Bruce: *bounds over, and jumps on him.*
J'onn: Ommph! Bruce? That you?
Bruce: *licks his face.*
J'onn: Giant intergalactic puppy? That you in there?
Bruce: *strange little yip.*
J'onn: That's a yes, then.

New chew-toy :lol:
Yes. :D Shapeshifting chew-toy. :lol:

Stewart: *beams up.*
Bruce: *growls, and bites him.*
Stewart: Ow! What did I do?
J'onn: The puppy doesn't like you.
Stewart: But I haven't even been in this story yet! *wanders off to kitchen, looking hurt*
J'onn: The puppy knows you in another reality! Sorry!
Bruce: *follows Stewart. Sniffing.*
Stewart: Only here for a minute. Kyle's the resident Green Lantern. I'm here to drop something off. Down boy!
J'onn: *notes Bruce's interest* Don't tell me you're dropping off...
Stewart: Cookies! Alfred sent them up.
Bruce: *paws package out of Stewart's hands, makes a gleeful start on the contents*

Bruce: *huge grin.*
J'onn: When the intergalactic puppy leaves, we'll have to explain this to Alfred.
Superman: Why wait?
J'onn: True. It would be interesting to see its reaction to Alfred...
Bruce: *happy yip as he tears into the cookies.*

Alfred: Yes, what is it Master Clark?
Superman: We have a situation on the Watchtower, and could use your help. It involves Bruce.
Alfred: What has happened to Master Bruce?
Superman: You'll understand when you get here....
*beam*
Bruce: ALFRED!
*bound bound bound POUNCE!*
Alfred: Master Bruce! Stop licking me! Stop it at once!
Bruce: *cringe, whine, whimper.*
Dick: You're scaring him!
Superman: Come here, Bruce. It's ok.
Bruce: *sniffs him and jumps on him.*
J'onn: *amused.*

Alfred: Why is Master Bruce naked, and licking people?
Dick: Never thought I'd hear that sentence...
Alfred: *raises eyebrow and waits.*
Superman: J'onn can explain it. J'onn?
J'onn: Bruce is possessed by a giant intergalactic celestial puppy.
Alfred: That is...quite odd.
J'onn: Just humor the puppy.
Bruce: *brings a ball to Alfred*
Alfred: Master Bruce? Fetch!
Bruce: *yips*
Alfred: Why is he naked?
J'onn: The puppy does not wish to wear clothing. Thankfully, he has yet to mark his territory.
Wally: Eww!
Alfred: *hands over the mental bleach*
Wally: Thanks *zip* Done!

Alfred: *goes to sit in one of the chairs.*
Bruce: *stares, sniffs, and lays his head in Alfred's lap.*
Wally: Aww.
Diana: So cute.
Alfred: *absently scratches Bruce's head behind his ears*
Diana: I think he wants to be scratched some more.
Wally: I refuse to scratch his legs and stomach!
Diana: Can't you scratch him behind the ears at superspeed?
Wally: *does so.*
Bruce: *falls over in contentment.*

Alfred: Ah, Master Bruce is content.
Superman: I think you mean Master Intergalactic Puppy.
Alfred: Well, it's Master Bruce's body!
Dick: Maybe he'll be Bruce when he wakes up?
Superman: Have you seen any strange light shows?
Dick: Well...no...
Superman: Then it's still in there.

Dick: But I have seen every episode of Star Trek! Metamorphosis, Lights of Zetar....
Superman: *rolls his eyes.*
Bruce: *wakes up, looks sleepy, and jumps in Dick's arms.*
Dick: *falls over.* OW! Still a puppy, huh?
Bruce: *licks face, lays his face on Dick's chest, and goes back to sleep.*
Dick: Want to help me out here? I have a 200 pound puppy on my chest!
Babs: Wally! Get me pictures NOW!!!
Wally: Yes'm! *reacts so fast he doesn't even think about it* Hey, while you're down there, I can think of a lightshow you missed... And the Children Shall Lead!
Dick: grrrrr.... you're so lucky I'm down here, bestest bud o' mine...
Bruce: *Growls back.*
Dick: Maybe I shouldn't have growled. Good boy.
Bruce: *stares, and goes back to sleep.*
Wally: Blackmail for all!
Babs: Good boy!
Dick: Babs? Don't you want to get up here to see it in person?
Babs: I don't think so. The pictures are enough! Besides, I don't want to be tackled by Bruce--especially naked!
Superman: *thinks* Maybe we should get Selina up here?
Everyone: NO!

He might end up with a clawed nose :lol:
Yes. :D Or he might bite her.

Superman: Selina? Bruce thinks he's a puppy, so he can't go out to dinner with you tonight.
Selina: What?
Superman: He's possessed by an intergalactic, celestial puppy, and is running around the Watchtower. Naked.
Selina: Sounds like fun!
Superman: He might hurt you!
Selina: I'll scratch him!

Bruce: *wakes up.*
Dick: Mind getting off my chest, puppy? Please?
Bruce: *Whines and does so.*
Dick: Air! Sweet, glorious air!
J'onn: *amused.*
Wally: *opens small cannister of laughing gas while Dick's breathing deeply*
Dick: *starts laughing.*
Bruce: *Growls, and runs after Wally.*
Wally: Sorry! It's temporary! I didn't hurt him! *runs faster than Bruce.*

Bruce: *Hugs Dick.*
Dick: Good boy. My own attack celestial puppy.
Bruce: *licks face.*
Dick: Eww.
Babs: *snork*
J'onn: How do we exorcise it?
Dick: Tell it to leave?
Superman: No, that would be too easy.
Wally: Hey--you need to leave that body, puppy.
Bruce: *whines and does so.*
Wally: See? It was that easy!
Bruce: *falls over.*
Dick: Is he ok?
Bruce: *wakes up, stares, and gets up.*
Superman: If he licks my face, we were wrong.
Bruce: Why am I naked? What happened to my pants? And why do I have the taste of Kibble in my mouth? And cookies?
Diana: *splashes Bruce with water*
Bruce: And why am I being splashed?
Diana: I'm trying to exorcise you. Except I don't have any holy water handy, so I had to use mineral water.
Bruce: *Batglare.*
Diana: Puppy's gone.
Bruce: Give me the water. I would rather not be splashed. I would like to know what is going on, though.
Dick: We'll let your hubby explain.
Wally: Yeah. Um. We have, um, Titans training.
Dick: I think I hear Oracle.
Wally: Byeeee!
Bruce: *stares in confusion.* Someone want to explain.
Superman: I think I hear Lois calling me! *leaves*
Bruce: I feel a draft. Would someone please get me some pants?
J'onn: Um. Symbiote?
Bruce: Right. Forgot. Ace? Please give me pants. *symbiote creates a Batman costume instead.*
J'onn: Better.
Bruce: Alfred? Do you know what's going on?
Alfred: Not much, Master Bruce. All I know is that you loved to be scratched behind the ears. J'onn knows more than I.
Bruce: *strange look as he tries to wrap his mind around that comment.*
Alfred: I believe Miss Cassandra needs... um... more cookies! *leaves*
Bruce: *Batglare.*
J'onn: And then there was one.
Bruce: Care to explain?
J'onn: Remember the intergalactic celestial puppy?
Bruce: Yes?
J'onn: It liked you, came back, and possessed your body.
Bruce: Another day, another possession. If I had a dollar for every possession...
J'onn: You're a millionaire all ready.
Bruce: Yeah, but I would be even richer.

Bruce: What...did I do? Anything scary, like attacking someone?
J'onn: You streaked the Watchtower.
Bruce: *silence.*
J'onn: You hugged Diana while naked.
Bruce: *silence and smirk.*
J'onn: You jumped on Wally after she threw you--he ran into a wall. Oh, and you licked Superman's face a lot.
Bruce: *horrified look.*
J'onn: Wally made you happy by scratching you behind the ears at super speed. You fell over in contentment.
Bruce: I don't believe it!
J'onn: All you'll have to do is look at the photos.
Bruce: You didn't!
J'onn: Correct.
Bruce: *dawning realisation* No!
Babs: Oh yes! Oh yes Brucey baby! Ahahahhaaha!

Bruce: Well, she said she was always watching. Are you putting those pictures in the tabloids?
Babs: Oh, yeah.
J'onn: *comforts Bruce as he cries out in horror.*
Bruce: Celestial Puppy? Wherever you are? Please don't possess me again! I don't need more blackmail!
*Disembodied whimper is heard.*
J'onn: You can come back. Just ask before possessing!
Bruce: I guess the Watchtower will now be haunted by a celestial disembodied puppy.

But will he stay off the furniture?
They can only hope. :D

J'onn: You can also take over anyone at Wayne Manor!
*disembodied yip.*
Bruce: *facepalm.*
Babs: HEY!
J'onn: *grins* Oh yeah! Oh yeah Babsy baby!
Babs: *grumble*
Dick: Ah, J'onn... are you sure you want to see Puppy-Cass?
Bruce: Or Puppy-Alfred?
Everyone: *shudders at the thought.*
J'onn: Everyone except Alfred, then.

That's all for now... tune in... sometime later, some Bat-time, same Bat-station...