seandc

Step back in time, to when Batman first donned cape and cowl... or tried to...

Context Free Vignettes presents: The Costume Fashion Forgot!

Bruce puts on the Batman costume for the first time.
*is picturing a Bat-version of Kitty's famous outfit*
I just pictured him in the rollerskates outfit. Scary. :lol:

Alfred: *watches Bruce in the new costume.*
Bruce: What's wrong?
Alfred: I think we have a long way to go to make this costume properly frightening for criminals.
Bruce: *looks down at the bright colors and rollerskates.* What?
Alfred: Are you color blind, Sir? Look in a mirror!
Bruce: Ick. Yeah, that's bad.
Alfred: *Takes a picture, for future blackmail.*

Now, would Alfred do a thing like that? :lol:
Yes :D

Years later...
Alfred: And here are Master Bruce's baby pictures.
Dick (still a young Robin at this time): What's in this one?
Alfred: A picture of the first costume Master Bruce wore as Batman. Horrible style. From then on, I made the costumes for him.
Dick: *looks at the picture, and falls to the floor laughing.*
Bruce: *walks in.* You're not...
Alfred: I am. Oh, but I am. *evil grin.*
Bruce: Not the--
Alfred: Oh, yes.
Dick: Yes! Oh, Yes! The pictures! *goes back to laughing.*
Bruce: The evidence must be burned!
Alfred: But I still have the costume--you don't know where it is, so you cannot burn it!
Bruce: *sigh* Always thinking two moves ahead, eh, old friend?
Alfred: Always, sir!
Dick: *still laughing*
Bruce: Dick, go to bed!
Dick: Awwww...
Bruce: GO!
Dick: *goes off grumbling and laughing*
Bruce: One day I'll find it all...

Years later:
Batcave phone: *riiiiiing*
Bruce: A-hoy-hoy?
Babs: Hey Bruce! You'll never guess what Alfred just showed me!!
Bruce: Let me guess. Rollerskates are involved?
Babs: Yep!
Bruce: Grrr....Alfred would be a dead man, if that wouldn't destroy the universe as we know it.
Babs: *evil laughter.*
Bruce: Stop that!
Babs: But it's much too funny to stop laughing about!
Bruce: *grumble* Barbara, go to bed!
Babs: Um, Bruce? That wouldn't've have worked even when I was the same age Dickie was when he first saw these...
Bruce: *sigh* Well, I'm coming up to get them *hears a strange sound from other end*
Babs: They're not here anymore.
Bruce: What?
Babs: I just got Wally to take them back to my place...
Bruce: Wally saw them?
Babs: Yep! In the past 5 seconds, the entire JLA has probably been shown them.
Bruce: Oh, no! Clark!
Babs: Yep!
Bruce: And J'onn!
Babs: Don't worry, I'll deal with it...
Bruce: *sigh*
Babs: *calls home*
Dick: Yeahohdliodli?
Babs: Hey babe. Is Wally there?
Dick: Wally? No why wo...*ZIP!*
Wally: HI!
Babs: Wally, did you take that picture to the Watchtower instead of home to be scanned, saved and then sent all over?
Wally: Um... well, it was on my way anyways... and it made the others laugh!
Babs: Good. *evil grin.*
Wally: You scare me sometimes.
Babs: Wait til you see Batman.
Wally: Eep.

Batman: Where's the picture?!
Wally: Eek! Last I checked, J'onn had it!
Batman: Oh, no!
Wally: He thought it was cute!
Batman: Really?

The Watchtower:
J'onn: *skates around in new outfit* What do you think?
Plastic Man: Oh, you definitely captured the outfit. Um, don't you think we should give the picture back to Flash before anyone comes looking for it?
J'onn: True enough. I don't want to get into Oracle's bad books. Just let me photocopy it first...
Diana and Clark: *leaning against eachother trying not to laugh too hard*

Batman: *beams up to the Watchtower.*
Batman: *sees J'onn in the outfit.*
J'onn: Hey, Bruce! Cute outfit!
Batman: *facepalm.*
Diana: Can I borrow it?
Batman: Is it my fault that I have no sense of style?!
Everyone: YES!
Batman: Shouldn't have asked.

Batman: *Goes for a scarier costume.*
J'onn: *Raises eyebrow.*
Batman: It was a choice between that--or this! *Comes out wearing the miniskirt of Rachel Summers. Screams of horror from everyone.*
Supes: Don't feel too badly, Bruce. It was the *mumbled decade*ies, nobody had any style then!
J'onn: *Horrified beyond belief.* You made the right choice.
Superman: Yes--the right choice...
Flash: My eyes! MY EYES!!!!
Alfred: *beams up to take a picture--is horrified.* Not even I would wish to blackmail you with this. *Beams back down.*

A universe over:
Wade: Hey, no fair, he's stealing my tactics!
Weasel: At least he's not wearing the exact same costume as you. Or using the exact same lines.

Bruce: I figure everyone will be too busy checking out my legs... and don't think I don't see you there Flash...

Wade: *significant look*
Weasel: You didn't say that.
Wade: Of course not! I was addressing Iceman!
Weasel: *facepalm*

Flash: Did--did you shave your legs?
Batman: Yes. No commenting.
Flash: You're wearing mini-skirt. Nothing else needs to be said.
Batman: *sits down.*
Flash: ARGH!!!
Babs: *beams up* Alfred said this might be more my cup of I don't think it was tea he was going for... wowsers.
Bruce: What?
Babs: Nothing... Marvel Girl. *starts filming* And you've got the glasses and everything...

A universe over:
Rachel: Dangit! Someone's been into my dressing table!
Lockheed: *trying to pantomime one big scary Bat-Phoenix*
Rachel: Wish I could understand you Lock... *scratches him behind the ear before grabbing a different pair of glasses*

Flash: Please stand up, Bats--the skirt--it's--it's riding up--and--
Batman: *Quickly stands and glares at Babs.*
Superman: You have the strangest ideas for costumes...
Babs: Note to self... have everything I'll ever need to ensure Flash's compliance...
Batman: Wasn't my costume idea.
Clark: Then whose was it?
Batman: Hers! *points to a monitor which is now showing a person from Batman's memory - Jean*

J'onn: *brief conversation with Jean.*
J'onn: She did the equivalent of a telepathic wrong number.
Batman: Good! I wasn't meant to wear it!
J'onn: No, you weren't. *looks very relieved.*
Flash: Give me the miniskirt.
Batman: Why?
Flash: I'm going to burn it.

Rachel, appearing: Hey! No burning of my clothes!
Flash: I can't help it, I have to, as part of the repression process!
Babs: *mentally notes what her next present to Wally should be*
Bruce: You can't burn me out of these if you can't catch me! *runs off*
Wally: I can't believe you tried this... *runs after him, only to find*
Rachel: What part of "No burning my clothes" don't you understand? *holds his speed down telekinetically and chases him*

Cut to:
A long corridor, with a big Scooby Doo style chase through all the doors

Bruce: *tosses costume to Rachel, who vanishes.*
Wally: Hey! I wanted to burn it! Oh, and Bruce?
Bruce: Yes?
Wally: Put some clothes on! Unless you're possessed again.
Bruce: *Goes to find the Batman costume, left on the floor.*

And now a trip to roleplay land...

Context Fusion Theatre presents: Geek Widow

This is based off the

jla_watchtower RP where

faith_of_borg plays. One of the few things I know is that Jason Todd is alive; and Babs and Dick are married...

Dick: *holds her hands away from her keyboards* No! It's a day off, for enjoying, and icecream!
Babs: But I enjoy this!
Dick: Ah! Don't make me disconnect everything... and don't look at me like that!

That reminds me of something Dick said in a post at jla_watchtower.
"I'm a geek widow for the next few hours."

Babs was busy with programming things. She handed the baby over to him, and just left him there.
*is picturing Dick and Tim bringing up baby - all in front of telly, just watching with occasional drinking*
They would. :lol:

3 years later, the baby has had horrible influences....
Babs: *Comes out of the work room and yawns.*
Dick: Who are you? Babs? That you? Thought I was a permanent geek widow.
Babs: How long was I working on the computer?
Dick: 3 years, 5 months, 42 minutes, 10 seconds.
Babs: *stares*
Dick: Bruce brought around a timer for me on the 3 month mark. Oh, and 5 days.
Babs: OK...
Dick: Timing things became my only solace! I need to talk to people! *sobs*
Babs: You lost it. Were you sitting there on the couch the entire time?
Dick: YES!!!!
*thwip-SQUEEK!*
Jason: Got him... oh! *reels in squeeky-rubber-batarang*
Dick: Hey, Jase, bring that little troublemaker over here!
Jason: Hey, go on, go and see that nice lady over there.
Toddler: *runs over* Catwoman!
Babs: Who's this?
Dick: Our daughter. I told you it's been more than three years!

Babs: Who's your mommy?
Toddler: What's a mommy? Wanna swing on the grapple again!
Babs: You swing from the rooftops?!
Toddler: Yes!
Dick: I call her...Mini-Nightwing!
Babs: *horrified look.*
Dick: You should see her take down criminals. So cute!
Babs: *terror rising.*
Dick: April Fool's!
Babs: It's October.
Dick: Yeah, but you were on the computer in April.
Jason: He's been planning that one since she could walk!
Babs: Since when have you been a good guy?
Jason: Since I got a soul. By the way, Bruce went to Arkham.
Babs: You finally realized he was nuts?
Jason: No...he thought he was nuts. 10 people were pretending to be Batman and fighting criminals. He didn't know what to do, and checked himself in. Joker and Bruce share a cell. He keeps saying he's planning on breaking out.
Babs: So if you've been waiting around here for me, who's been looking after the city?
Dick: *points out window to twin capes swinging in*
Cass: Babs! You're back! Welcome to the new Gotham!
Tim: Have you heard? Batgirl took over for Batman... I barely have anything to do now!
Cass: Don't be silly Tim. You provide much needed sarcasm and support.
Tim: I also stalked her nightly until she gave in. *creepy grin.*
Cass: It was very disturbing.
Dick: It's just like what he did to Bruce--he knew who Cass was, but kept following and taking pictures.
Cass: Was very creepy.
Babs: Wow. If I'd been there, I'd've been so proud of you Tim!
Tim: I thought you would be - you gave me your favourite blackmailling camera.
Babs: I don't remember that.
Tim: Well, "gave" might be too strong a word. You shoved it in my hands two years ago and told me to go nuts, then started programming again.
Babs: Ah. Reprogramming a specific current in a specific fixture in the computer, I believe.
Dick: *Zones out at computer geekery.*
Tim: *Begins geek conversation with Babs.*
Dick: I'm a geek widow again! Come on, Toddler Grayson. We'll come up with a name as I swing you from the roof.
Cass: Tell me about it... I'll help you.
Alfred: I swear your fathering will be the death of me, boy.

*Alfred has flashbacks.*
Alfred: Don't drop the baby! BOY!!!!!
Dick: It's fine. She likes to be swung from rope. Just like her Daddy.
Alfred: *tries to keep from having a stroke.*

Toddler: *grabs Cass' jumpline and fires it up a tree, swinging up fast*
Cass: HEY!!
Dick: Wow, she's even better than I thought!
Alfred: You've corrupted the child.
Dick: No, I haven't.
Alfred: Do you know any other 3 year olds that can do that?!
Dick: Lian might. Roy's daughter?
Alfred: Daughter of a superhero. Let me rephrase: What normal child does that?
Dick: Oh, I get it. I need to teach her how to throw a batarang.
Alfred: *facepalm.*
*thwipSQUEEK*
Jason: Already been teaching her that!
Cass: I could do that at that age.
Dick: You were an assassin at that age!
Cass: So?
Dick: *facepalm.*
Alfred: Oh for the peace, the calm, the...
Toddler: Alfie! C'n I have a drink?
Alfred: Only if you get down from the tree, Little Miss. I'm afraid I'm a bit too old to be climbing that.
Jason: Don't worry Alfie, I can take it up there! *swings up tree with drinks*
Toddler: See Alfie? Unca Jase can climb too, an' he's old like you!
Jason: HEY!
Alfred: *laughing*
Alfred: And what of Tim?
Toddler: Really old! Older than Unca Jase!
Jason and Alfred: *laughs at that.*
Tim: Hey!

And a little step out into the J'onnverse.

Context Fusion Theatre presents: The J'onnverse - Plastic Man, Serene.

Anna1: *laughs at part of a J'onnverse story.*

"Eel gaped. "That's what that switch does?"

"Not usually. It seemed appropriate to make the gesture though."

Eel's face scrunched in thought as he flopped back into his abandoned chair. "So that was just for show?"

"Yes. In case Batman wants to know why the sound is off."

Eel rolled his eyes. "How many other secret codes do you two have?"

J'onn fixed him with a level gaze. "Do you really want to know?"

Eel squeezed his eyes shut. "Nooooo. It's bad enough that I wonder what you think at each other. I don't want to start analyzing what you're saying to one another when you tap your pen on the desk at the meeting or something."

J'onn leaned back, a speculative expression on his face. "You're probably right; you don't want to know."

"ARGH! It means something?" Eel assumed the shape of an ostrich with its head in the sand. "Don't think about it, don't think about it," he chanted to himself.

Poor Plas, he's broken.
Yes. J'onn loves to torment him. Bruce doesn't know about it, though.J'onn would never tell Bruce, either. He'd just let him be slightly horrified and confused.
What, so he'll be innocently tapping his pen in a meeting, and wondering at all the screaming? :lol:

Bruce: *taps pen.*
Plastic Man: *Horrified screams.*
Bruce: What did I do?!
Plastic Man: You know! YOU! KNOW!
Bruce: *Looks scared.*
J'onn: *looking amused*
Superman: What did you do to him?
Bruce: Me? Nothing! I'm confused, too!
Plastic Man: YOU KNOW!!!! YOU KNOWWW!!!! *is dragged from the room.*
Bruce: Wow. I have to know something.
J'onn: You broke him!
Bruce: Me? All I did was tap my pen!

Later, the team goes to see Serenity...
Ollie: Don't worry about it, we'll get to the bottom of it.
Eel: Hope so. Popcorn?
Dinah: Here. OK, movie's starting.

On screen, little River taps her pen against her screen quickly.
Eel: *points and screams*
Bruce, in the back row: What's wrong with him?!
Eel: *Sees Bruce* *points and screams.*
Bruce: WHAT?! What do I KNOOOOOOWWW?!
Eel and Bruce: *scream at each other.*
Clark: Both of you - QUIET!!
Diana: Some of us are trying to watch the gorram movie!!
Eel and Bruce: *tackle each other silently.*
Diana: Thank you!
Bruce: *whispering* What do I know?
Eel: You know. You know what you know and you knew.
J'onn: *quietly goes to them.* My fault.
Bruce: What did you do?
J'onn: Told him that when we tap pens it's really a secretly sinister message to each other.
Bruce: *starts to giggle.*
Diana: Quiet!
Bruce: *Leaves the theater with J'onn and Eel.*
Eel: Now I'll never know what happens...
Bruce: We can do the horrified screams out here. Diana won't hurt us.
Eel: Good plan.
Bruce: And I'm a billionaire. I have my own private theater.
Eel: Yay!
J'onn: Why weren't we there in the first place?
Bruce: Because... um...

D'oh!!

Um...Superman wanted to go to the theater...but not mine...You're right.
Eel: Ha! The great master planner messed up!
Bruce: Did not.
Eel: Did.
Bruce: Didn't.
Eel: Did.
Bruce: Didn't....
J'onn: Children. *shakes head and walks away.*