Context-Free Theatre!

[seandc]

OK, so once more faith_of_borg and I have been having a bit of a play with circumstance. This little adventure starts from something I noted when Boston Legal was on in the background, and one of the characters said something that the line and her voice reminded me of Inara on Firefly.

So, sit back, and once more join a not-exactly grounded Batman and Inara in a little thing I call

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Anna1
That would be strange to see Inara as a lawyer.

SeanDC
Inara: Objection!
Mal: What? I didn't say anything...
Inara: I thought I'd skip ahead and save time...

Inara: By the way, I briefly switched bodies with a 20th century lawyer.  You can ignore that.  Although, I have to wonder how Inara did in the 20th century...

*Flashback is censored for the good of the world, as Inara traumatizes the 20th century with her stock and trade...*

*20th century lawyers wander around stunned... except Alan Shore, who smirks to himself...*

*Inara goes to Gotham City in the 20th century in the body of someone else--causing the strangest crossover in history.  Boston Legal/Firefly/Batman.*

…

Batman: Why are you in my city?
Inara: To practice my stock and trade.
*censored for an hour.*
*From the shadows, Batman has followed.*
Batman: *stunned* I...I have to go!  Alfred needs me to help with cleaning!

Inara: Have to go. Right. *mutters to herself in Chinese*

Robin: *Shows up behind Batman.*
Batman: *shrieks like a little girl.*
Robin: *stares in horror.* Horror, and amazement that Batman managed to leap straight up onto a lamppost from standing 

Alfred: Shall I call the JLA and have you willingly mindwiped, Sir?
Bruce: *tiny voice* Yes, please.  Think good thoughts...*rocking back and forth.*
Tim: And hurry.  I think the man finally cracked!

*enter Superman*
Batman, still rocking: ...happy thoughts... happy thoughts...
Superman: Ok young Robin - what have you done with the real Batman?

Tim: That's the real Batman--after being exposed to the most frightening image of a hooker on a roll.  Get your mind out of the gutter, and move it to the quicksand--where it's worse!
Batman: Think nice things...think good thoughts...I do believe in fairies...
Superman: Ouch.  Poor guy.*Leans over to whisper things in his ear.*
Batman: NOT THE TALK!  *rocks back and forth faster.*  Not listening...think good thoughts...
Tim: You really broke him this time!

Inara: That's "Companion" young man, although even if the Guild existed in this century, I wouldn't expect anyone I met here to make the distinction anyway.

Tim: You're probably right about that, Ma'am.
Superman: Maybe I could send for the Joker?
Tim: *Sarcastically* Yeah, that would really help.
*Superman takes him literally and gets the Joker.*
Batman: *continues rocking* Bad girl is back...prefer Catwoman....think nice thoughts...

J'Onn, over comm: *ppffftter blub blub*
Wonder Woman: He didn't mean get your mind into the quicksand literally! Get out of it...
Flash: A slight problem with telepaths and literalness... *zip*
*arrives just in time to see Superman fly off* ... ok, make that everyone and literalness!

Tim: Think you could fix him?
Flash: *stares in shock as Batman rocks back and forth.*  Bats?  You okay?
Batman: think nice thoughts...kill Flash later...think nice thoughts...kill Flash later...
Flash: Well.  That's scary.

Inara: Catwoman... and which version of Catwoman would this be? The mid 1990s in the purple suit? Or a certain theatre version...
Tim: *strange look*
Inara: Some history of Earth-That-Was has made for a... diverting... study recently...
Tim: Not that...keep it down, you're breaking down the fourth wall!

Inara: *amused*
Batman: *giggles*  Goggles...cuter...must think nice thoughts.
Inara: *pats him.* Good boy.

*Superman arrives with Joker.*
Joker: Batsy!  *Sees him rock back and forth, and giggling.*  You've been driven insane, and it wasn't by me, you say?!  How dare they!

Batman: ...happy thoughts... happy goggle thoughts... i'm a good boy with goggle happy thoughts...
Flash: I thought you'd be happy that he's all giggly...
Joker: It's the principle of the thing! *I'm* the clown around here, I should be the one making him giggly! Or dead... giggly first!

Tim: It's getting awfully crowded, guys.  I think I'll leave before the crowbars are brought out.
Joker: Aww, Robin!  I won't kill you--yet!  Much! Ya got nothing to worry about today, kiddo!  *drags him back over.*
Tim: *sighs in disgust.*
Batman: Must ignore psycho...think nice thoughts...google thoughts....goggle thoughts...many thoughts...
Joker: That's it!  Who broke my mortal foe?!  I should be the one to do that!  *stomps foot.*

Inara: You're *all* broken. I think I preferred it when all I had to worry about was a certain barger-in-er-er...

Alfred: The Joker seems the sanest one here at the moment, Miss Inara.  On that point, we can agree.
Tim: What am I, chopped liver?!
Joker: That can be arranged if you like.
Superman: Stay away from the Robin.

Joker: Awww c'mon, just one little liver, it's not as if they're rare, all these little Robins...
Superman: No.
Joker: You're no fun anymore.

Tim: When was he ever fun?
Joker: I like you!  *Ruffles his hair.*
Tim: *Glares*
Batman: *screams*
Everyone: *stares*
Batman: Couldn't handle fighting...think good thoughts...clap your hands if you believe good thoughts...don't worry, be happy...
Joker: He's really broken, now!

Scarecrow: He scares me like this...
Joker: Scarecrow! When did you get out?!
Scarecrow: I... er... I mean... *looks at collection of superheroes* Bye!

Joker: Wait, come back!  Maybe you can help, since Batman's currently scaring everyone!
Tim: Worth a shot!
Joker: We agree on something?  It's the end of the world!  Hey, Batsy!  If you're in there, we'll fix you!
Tim: Maybe he could have a tea party with the Mad Hatter now?  They'd be perfect together.
Superman: Are you *sure* you're one of the sanest ones here?

Batman: *coherent for a moment, and grabs Scarecrow.* You're my Spooky!
Scarecrow: *look of terror.*
Batman: *goes back to rocking.*

Anna1: It was based on my icon.  I had to post it with Scarecrow instead of Superman. :lol:
SeanDC: *is too busy laughing to even try thinking anything new...*