Context Free Theatre - PhoenixWing!

[seandc]

As much as Psylocke might be annoyed at the prospect, the Phoenix is such a handy thing to drop into a conversation!


Context Free Theatre presents: PhoenixWing! (it is what you think)

We begin with a certain happening for Nightwing in an RP online...

Sean DC (09:56 PM) :
Time to invoke his cartoon costume :lol: (if you've ever seen the costume, it even has the head between the wings - Phoenix is the first thing I thought when I saw it months ago)
Anna1 (09:56 PM) :
Yes :D

Dick: I...am...Phoenix Nightwing!
Babs: Another one?!
Bruce: How many are there now? *eyes flash.*
Dick: Depends on the universe. *eyes flash.*
Both: *eyes flash.*
Babs: Stop that! Is this a glowing eyes competition?!
Alfred: *sees Dick is alive and a Phoenix* My word! *walks out.*
Bruce: Where are you going?
Alfred: To inform Superman, Sir. He needs to be aware of this development.

Later...
Superman: There's another one?!
Dick: Yes, me!
Superman: All right, I've got a Nightwing-Phoenix! *takes out Phoenix-Spotter's Handbook and puts a tick in the right spot*
Babs: That isn't... it can't be... give me a look! *yoink!* It is! Phoenix Spotters?!
Supes, somewhat defensive: Well, I do have a unique vantage point as a superhero... and everyone needs a hobby...
Babs: You keep track of them?
Bruce: Do you watch everything they do? Even just flying around?
Superman: How else could I log their powers?
Bruce: Oh, well. I felt like I was being watched anyway...
Babs: That would be me.
Bruce: ...no privacy?
Babs: Not much.
Bruce: Even in the shower?!
Babs: *evil grin.*
Bruce: *frightened look.*
Superman: *makes a note that Phoenix!Bruce likes privacy.*
Babs: You look frightened, Bruce... how do you think I felt after hearing your rendition of "Mandy"?
Dick: You mean the rumours in the White Hot Room are true about his s...
Babs: YES!!
Bruce: It's an initiation ritual....Karaoke Night in the White Hot Room.
Superman: *raises eyebrow and writes it down.*
Bruce: Stop that!
Superman: Why should I? You made protocols about the entire JLA--think of it as payback.
Bruce: *broods.*
Dick: Bruce, stop that! You'll just get some of the others in here wondering what's wrong, and that's going to start a fire when Superman starts writing at superspeed in his notebook.
Babs: Clark, you know it's unnecessary to do that... not when I've got my recorders going...

Bruce: *stops brooding and wonders how to get the notebook away.*
Dick: What are you going to do?
*telepathically*
Bruce: ~Want to try to steal the notebook?~
Dick: ~Yes! Can I use telekinesis? Can I? Can I?!~
Bruce: ~Yes! Calm down before you end up a Dark Phoenix, though!~ *ends telepathic link*
Tim: Why are their eyes flashing like that?
Alfred: I believe they are plotting against us. Telepathy in their hands is frightening.
Bruce and Dick: *look innocent*
Babs: Oh, I know that look, Richard Grayson, and I'm not falling for that!
Dick: What look, Babs, dearest?
Babs: That innocent look! The same look I show when I accidentally... um, nothing...

Bruce: Technically, Alfred, it's in our minds...
Alfred: I stand corrected, sir. Forgive me for asking - have you become a lot more literal-minded now you're a Phoenix?
Phoenix-Babs, appearing: Don't try to pin this one on us, Alfie!
Alfred: I'm sorry, Miss Barbara...
Supes: Oooh, another one, and from a parallel universe too! *goes to write his latest spotting* Hey, my notebook's trying to get away! Which, considering my superstrength, is a big feat for a little notebook...
Phoenix Babs, Dick, Bruce: *telepathically* ~Pull! Pull! Pull!~
Normal Babs: *Rolls over Superman's foot to distract him.*
Superman: *gets the book pulled away.* Hey!
Dick: Is it possible to sprain your brain?
Bruce: You'll be fine. *quietly* Medic?
Alfred: This way, Master Bruce, and Master Dick. I don't know how Miss Leslie can help a sprained mind from telekinesis, but we'll see.
Leslie: *hears the problem, and laughs hysterically.*

Meanwhile:
Superman: *carefully picks up the dropped book now that two of the Phoenixes have gone*
PBabs: Claaarrrk...
Clark: Just cleaning up, don't want to put Alfred out.
PBabs: Riiiigghhhtt *snerk* *reads over his shoulder* And that's Earth-293...
Tim: Look! Kryptonite!
Clark: Where?!
Tim: *steals the book and runs after Dick, Alfred and Bruce.*
Clark: Where'd the book go?
Babs: *evil grin as she wheels away.*
PBabs: *pats Clark's shoulder* Last I heard, Serenity... *chuckles as she disappears back to the White Hot Room*
Superman: Heh... wrong Book... *looks down corridor* You'd think they'd be more on my side... oh well... *pulls second notebook out of cape* Heh heh heh.

Meanwhile, in the Batcave...
Tim: Got the book! *Tosses it to Dick.*
Dick: I wonder if the book is fireproof.
Alfred: Don't get any ideas, Sir.
Bruce: *sets it on fire with his powers. Has a smirk, with an attempted innocent look.* Oops.
Dick: Ideas? What ideas? :looks innocent: *telepathically: ~this is how the innocent look is done~*
Bruce: *twitch smile.*
Dick: HA! Got a small smile out of him...we're sure there isn't any Joker Gas around?
Alfred: *raises an eyebrow* Why, young Sir?
Dick: Think of it: A guy like Bruce with Phoenix powers, driven insane by Joker Gas...
Alfred: Truly a frightening thought!
Dick: Fortunately the other Phoenixes would step in, nothing for you to worry about, Alfred.
Babs: But what about those Dark Phoenixes, from back when Bruce first got his power?
Dick:...
... destroy motivational speech much?
Babs: Forget one of them was *me* much?

Bruce: Huh. I hadn't thought of that...well...the universe is still here? Maybe they haven't done too much damage?
Alfred: *raises eyebrow.* One of them was Miss Barbara, correct?
Bruce: We're doomed!
Babs: Thanks a lot!
Dick: Well, it's the other universe that's doomed...
Babs: Keep talking like that Elf-boy, and you'll be doomed your own self, Phoenix or no!
Dick: Meep.
Bruce: Don't worry, you'll come back after visiting the White Hot Room.
Dick: But the other Babs is there!
Bruce: You're doomed, then.
Dick: Thanks a lot!
Babs: *glares and rolls over Bruce's foot.*
Bruce: Owww...
Babs: Somehow you two think I'm all violent in all the dimensions - the Phoenix-me from the other night wasn't violent.
Dick: Well, no, apart from throwing me over her shoulder.
Babs: I'm sure you're all traumatised by that, Dickie... besides, wouldn't you like to find more me in other dimensions?
Dick: *obviously thinking bad thoughts.*
Babs: *Slaps him on the back of the head.*
Dick: OW!
Babs: The only me you're allowed to ogle is me! Got it?!
Dick: Yeah...I think so.
Tim: *trying not to laugh.*
Cass: *throws Tim over her shoulder and leaves.*
Babs: *thinks a moment, and tosses Dick in her wheelchair and rolls away with him.*
Bruce: I feel so lonely.
Alfred: I refuse to put you over my shoulder!

Bruce: I hadn't even realised Batgirl was in the room...
Alfred: You may be a Phoenix sir, but you're not omnipotent. And Miss Cassandra is *very* good.
Bruce: Yes, of course. She wouldn't have gotten the job otherwise. But I'm talking thought-silence as well as worldly-silence.
Alfred: Well sir... instinct is very strong in that one - especially between Batgirls and Robins.
Bruce: We're sure she's not a Phoenix?
Alfred: Positive. Although, perhaps she has a cloaking device?
Bruce: Perhaps. Oh! Is Clark still upstairs?
Alfred: I assume you wish to be chased around the dining room table again, Sir?
Bruce: You assume correctly.
Alfred: Pardon my saying so, Sir...but...
Bruce: But?
Alfred: You need to get out more, Sir. Date! I hear Miss Selina, Miss Diana, and a few others wish to do so.

Alfred: You could even date Miss Jean.
Bruce: Well, she is interesting. But I would get tired of hearing her scream "Scott! NNOOOO!!!!"
Alfred: That could be irritating.
Bruce: We warned her about watching what the people on her world are doing... but she just had to be watching when one of her old outfits was taken... (Yes, I'm referring to a certain incident in Cable and Deadpool #9 again)
Clark: Hey, everyone left me alone upstairs. Am I interrupting anything?
Bruce: No, just me thinking I need to be chased around the table. That, or I need to get out more.
Clark: And so the tradition continues.
Bruce: *glares*

The End For Now...