seandc

This is what happens when alerts are sent out about certain types of
caterpillar:

~~Context Free~~Crossover Theatre!

Anna1 (10:34 PM) :
I think they look a little like creatures from SG-1. Very strange looking.

Daniel: Oh, that's just Jack...
Jack: Oh, har har Daniel....(yeah, I know I'm for it now)

Anna1 (10:37 PM) :
Just imagine an SG-1/Batman crossover. :D

Bruce: Hmmm...what is that? *Dissects Go'auld.*
Jack: Hey, we're here to take that back with us. The government...eww. You dissected it.
Bruce: How did you get into the Cave?
Jack: You have your own Stargate--behind that rock.
Bruce: That's what that is? Huh. Fascinating.

Anna1 (10:39 PM) :
It would be even weirder if it was our version of Bruce that met him. Phoenix Bruce. :lol:

Jack: What did I step in?!
Bruce: Bat mess.
Jack: Have any other shoes I could wear?
Bruce: *evil grin* Here. *hands over pixie boots, of the kind the first Robin wore*
Jack: I hate you!
Dick: Hey, those were my second-best pair!
Jack: Please *offers boots*, take 'em!
Dick: Well, I don't really need them anymore, since I can just... *changes his costume using Phoenix force*
Jack: Cool. Neat trick. You must save an absolute fortune in alterations.
Alfred: Second-best pair, Master Dick? That reminds me, whatever happened to your best pair?
Dick: I... er... that is...
Babs: *blushes*
Bruce: AAUUGH!! Stop thinking those things so loudly!
Babs: *evil grin.* *thinks loud.*
Dick: Hmmm....*thinks louder.*
Bruce: YEARGH!!!
Jack: Cute. I'm going back to the base now...*backs away slowly*
Bruce: Take me with you!!! Maybe you need a Phoenix?!
Alfred: *Drags him away.* Ignore Master Bruce, Sir. He is uncomfortable with certain thoughts.
Dick and Babs: *innocent smirking*
Bruce, muttering: "Ignore Master Bruce" yeah, everyone does...
Jack: It's not worth it, Batman. You'd have Fraiser poking you and shining things in your eye forever and a day, and when you got out Daniel would be asking you a million questions.
Bruce: Couldn't I just throw Daniel into another dimension?
Jack: Doesn't work. I've tried it. He'll just ascend, and then come back down completely naked.
Babs: Ok, who is this Daniel and...
Dick: Deal works both ways, honey.
Babs: Aw... *pouts*
Jack: All right, maybe not *always* naked. He came back from those freaky alternate universes all right and with all his clothes. Ok, a little shot, but with all his clothes...

Bruce: Scary thoughts...so many scary thoughts!
Alfred: Just come with me, Master Bruce. Maybe we can get you a cell in Arkham next to The Joker if we drive you insane...
Dick: *giggles.*
Bruce: Not really seeing the humour here.
Babs: Surprise me!
Bruce: I mean it! Can you imagine what having Joker for a roomie would be like?
Babs:...
Dick:...
Alfred:...
Jack: *looks around* Nice one, scared 'em well, whoever this guy is.
Bruce: Thanks. It's about time I got one in.
Bruce: Of course, we might also become best friends, break out of Arkham, and go after the people that drove us mad. That, or settle down and be very quiet after he discovers I'm Batman.
Babs: *stares*
Dick: You've thought about that too much, haven't you?
Alfred: Sir, at times you are downright scary!
Bruce: *grins* Nightwing should know this name...
Dick: *realises* Scary Bat God.
Bruce: *nods*
Jack: Then you are a Goa'uld! You think you're a god!
Dick: *rolls his eyes.*
Babs: *smirks.*
Bruce: I'm a Phoenix, not a God! Get it straight!
Dick: Scary Bat God - it's what some of the other Phoenixes refer to him as, after seeing
some of what's earned him his reputation.
Jack: So you don't think you're a God? Really?
Bruce: Despite someone's sage advice once, no, I'm not a God. I don't even play one on tv.
Babs: Did anyone hear that? Batman's making jokes!
Alfred: Will wonders never cease? *walks over and feels his forehead.*
Bruce: Stop that!
Alfred: Checking to see if you're sick, Sir.
Dick: Maybe the Phoenix Force took over? Are his eyes glowing?
Babs: Nope.
Dick: Oh, good.
Jack: The eyes, always the eyes. Do you know a Doctor Janet Fraiser by any chance?
Dick: Nope.
Babs: Fraiser... Fraiser... co-author of Parasitical metapsychology and the efforts the military must make to prepare for parasite invasion?
Jack: Yeah, that's... hey! How did you find out about that? That paper's top secret!
Babs: It's my job to find these things out.
Jack: Is she an alien? Does she know Thor?
Babs: No, I'm not an alien! Well...yes...I know Thor. Sweet alien guy.
Dick: This explains so much!
Babs: Just what exactly do you mean?
Dick: I mean... um... *suddenly realises Babs wasn't in a playful mood*
Jack: Uh-oooohhhh... (said while half-looking away from what is to come)
Dick: Yeah... uh-oh...
Babs: *nods* Uh-oh indeed, pixie-boots! *grins*
Dick: *gulp*
Babs: *rolls over his feet.*
Dick: OW! Like that was unexpected...I have permanent tire marks! Just look at my feet!
Babs: *glares*
Dick: I'm not complaining...I'm just saying that you're great at it! Bruce, help me out here!
Bruce: I'm just an innocent bystander watching you dig yourself deeper and deeper. *Big grin.* (Rachel had Bruce saying exactly what I was thinking at this point)
Jack: He's scary when he grins.
Alfred: Ah, he understands. Welcome to Gotham, Colonel O'Neill!
Jack: Uh..I think I'll be going now! *runs to Stargate.*

Alfred: And that is another visitor you have frightened off, Master Bruce!
Bruce: Another crossover bites the dust.
Dick: You never did meet the guy that said his sister was abducted by aliens, did you?
Bruce: No...
Dick: They left after they saw that you ran around in a cape, The Joker killed, Two-Face was around, and there was a guy who acted like a Penguin.
Bruce: Good!
Alfred: Yes... everything went exactly to plan... *retires to a darkened corner and lights up a cigarette*
Bruce: Alfred must be...Hush!
Alfred: No, you imbecile! Cigarette Smoking Man!
Bruce: Who is going to sweep up the ashes?
Alfred: Me? About time I quit this disgusting habit, don't you think?
Bruce: *smirks.*
Babs: This is what you get for messing with the minds of government agents, Alfred.
Alfred: Quite so, Miss Barbara. But for the return, it's a small price to pay. By the way, I think I've thrown a few others off the scent. They said they were vampire slayers, and wished to locate Gotham to slay the vampire Batman creature. I pointed them to Metropolis.

In Metropolis:
Superman: I keep telling you, Batman's not a vampire! If he was he'd've tried to bite me long ago!
Anya: How can we be sure he can be trusted?
Xander: It's *Superman*, An. If we can't trust Superman, we can't trust anyone!
Anya: I don't anyway! Unless they give me money! Wow... the writer is definitely stereotyping my character there!
Superman: Thanks for the vote of confidence... and please try not to break through the fourth wall so obviously. None of us are Deadpool, we can't get away with it so easily.

Later...
Buffy: Ok, we're almost back in Gotham - five, four...
Catwoman: Stop there--you're not getting Batman!
Buffy: Ah. *Throws a stake, but she dodges.*
Xander: She's not a vampire, you idiot! That's Catwoman!
Buffy: She needs to die!
Xander: I think you're thinking of the movie. Different Catwoman.
Catwoman: No nine lives here. Nope!
Buffy: You both saw that movie? Wow...
Xander: I'm a nerd, I had to see it, in a whole Comic-Book-Guy like capacity. Definitely not in the same way say Jonathan would've seen it, nope.
Anya: It's ok hon. You're cute when you're defensive. Still not buying the outfit though.
Xander: Awww...
Selina: I had to see what they did with my name! At least my costumes, while stunning and able to remove certain Bats' ability to speak, are actually *there*!
Selina: Batsy went with me. He restrained me when I almost ran out to kill the actress. Smart guy--disturbing movie. After it was over, he said he missed my purple skin-tight costume.
Xander: That was...*sees glare from Anya.*
Anya: Yes?
Xander: Uh...not my favorite costume?
Anya: Good boy!

And on this Xander gets to live note we leave our heroes for now...