Context Free Theatre - The Morning After
Sep. 19th, 2005 11:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seandcBruce's note to self: Next year - no punch, no egg nog - in fact, forget Christmas parties (and fanfic on Yahoo about same) altogether!
Context Free Theatre presents: The Morning After
Bruce: Why won't you look at me?
Tim: Scarred for life--you don't remember running through the mansion naked?!
Bruce: What?!
Tim: Or trying to sleep with Diana?
Bruce: *facepalm.* Selina is going to kill me.
Tim: Selina will have to get in line!
Bruce: *glares*
Tim: Forgotten scarred for life? Or maybe tipping a Christmas tree onto Superman's head?
Bruce: That was Clark?! I remember some sticking-out red shoes, but I thought it was the Wicked Witch of the...
Tim: *audible facepalm*
Bruce: I was more drunk than anyone thought, apparently.
Dick: *walks in* You thought you were diabetic!
Bruce: Oh. That explains the urge to have a blood test.
Tim: What was your blood alcohol level anyway?
Alfred: More than likely near alcohol poisoning. I have just completely watching those tapes of the events.
Dick: You're in trouble...
Alfred: And you two boys should have kept him out of trouble! Bad influences, the both of you!
Bruce: Is Clark angry?
Dick: Not really. Although, he was picking pine needles out of his hair for a while.
Bruce: Why was there liquor in the punch?
Dick: You really didn't get out much when you were younger? Ollie and Roy spiked the punch!
Bruce: WHAT?! They're dead! ow...hangover...
Tim: Get in line. Superman gets them first.
Dick: *nods* He's going to have Babs think up some way to punish them.
Bruce: *pales*
Dick: Something about his public image and all...
Bruce: Heh. Ever the boy scout.
Dick: Do you remember dancing with the lamp shade on your head?
Bruce: No...I did that?
Dick: Yep. Want to watch the tapes?
Bruce: Not unless Selina is around to comfort me.
Tim: You want her to see you making out with Diana?
Bruce: *look of horror.*
*Jim Gordon shows up.*
Jim: By any chance, did he get out of the house while he was drunk?
Tim: Well, we couldn't find him for an hour...why?
Jim: By any chance, do you think he could have spraypainted "Batman was here---Joker is stupid." on the back of police headquarters?
Bruce: *facepalm.*
Bruce: My love life, wrecked by one night of a different author with a different ship...
Alfred: Master Bruce! Once again, you are *not* Master Wade, in either his wacky or cured states, leave that fourth wall alone!
Bruce: *pouts* Cable got to do it...
Alfred: And if Master Nathan were to have himself sent on a cross-dimensional odyssey reducing himself to a baby in the hands of a mad geneticist before being rescued and undergoing accelerated aging after
remembering all his past life, would you do that too? (Cable and Deadpool issues 15-19 - go on, you know you're curious...)
Dick: What was that about the fourth wall?
Alfred: Quiet, young sir.
Bruce: I can't say whether or not I would do it...because I don't understand it.
Alfred: Good. There's hope for you yet.
Tim: I'd like to destroy the fourth wall.
Dick: Why?
Tim: *shrugs* Bored?
Dick: Not enough excitement with your mentor being drunk?
Tim: One of the more interesting nights.
Alfred: Then how about this one for complicated lives? *explains the Summers family tree.*
3 hours later...
Tim: *sobbing.*
Dick: *hitting his head against the wall.*
Bruce: When will it end? When will it END?!
Alfred: I should have added the warning. May cause madness when one attempts to figure it out.
Jim: Do you mind if we replace the fourth wall with the one that *someone* tagged last night?
Dick: If it gets me out of this, I'll move it here myself!
Jim: Good. It'll be a reminder of what happens when we don't notice drinks being spiked...
Dick: *noticing a familiar tone* That was scary.
Jim: Where do you think Barbara got it? She's far surpassed her old man though.
Dick: That's it, wall, here I come!
Bruce: For my reminder? *glares* I'll be sure to tell Rachel next time what you think of her family tree.
Alfred: Indeed, Sir? *bat glare*
Bruce: Indeed...
*staring match. 5 minutes later...*
Bruce: Argh! I give up--you're the creator of the bat glare!
Alfred: Quite right. Remember that from now on. *smirks.*
Dick: *watches* All hail Alfred!
Tim: *snickers.*
Bruce: This isn't over! Beware the wrath of a bunch of Dark Phoenixes...Phoenixi...whatever!
Jim: Would have been scarier if you had turned into Dark Phoenix for a moment...
Bruce: *facepalm.*
Jim: Can you use your Phoenix powers to fix the wall?
Bruce: We'll see...
Tim: I'm so telling!
Dick: No!
Alfred: Master Tim? Something you wish to share?
Tim: Um, yeah... Alf, you're the best and all, so awesome even Phoenixes back down... but it's far more fun to tell Oracle that big bro hailed anyone but her! Mweh heh heh... *evil grin.*
Bruce: *grabs Tim, and flies him to Babs.*
Tim: Hey, thanks!
Bruce: Anytime. Anything to get him into trouble wtih Barbara.
Tim: Good....good...mwahahahhahah!
Bruce: You need to work on the evil laughter a bit.
Tim: Any tips?
Bruce: At the proper time, Robin. At the proper time.
Babs: Ah, Tim, Bruce... have we learned something about not drinking a horse-trough of punch without checking it first?
Bruce: *Lurch-like groan*
Babs: I'll take that as a yes. So, what brings you two here?
Tim: *points* He does, because he can fly!
Babs: ...
Smartalec... and whose training would this be? Nevermind.
Tim: *proceeds to update Babs on the hail-Alfred, complete with waving arms and hand gestures*
Babs: I see. Thank you for telling me, I can see I have to prepare a special surprise for Dickie when he comes back. You may go now.
Tim: Hail Oracle!
Babs: *beams*
Bruce: I trust you'll share with us the results?
Babs: What I can, oh mentor-mine. What I can. *whistles innocently and happily*
Tim: Oracle knows all....and so does Alfred...but Oracle knows more of the all....and faster..um...
Babs: Keep digging.
Bruce: *facepalm.*
Babs: Nice try though - keep practising!
Tim: I'm trying, but trying to balance a normal life
Bruce: *snerk*
Tim: ...a *normal* life, being Robin, and giving proper due to two awesome figures... it's tough!
Babs: Flattery will get you everywhere.
Bruce: *snorts while laughing.*
Babs: Doesn't that hurt with a hangover?
Bruce: *grunts* Yes. *lays on her couch.*
Tim: *Goes to get the drums.*
Bruce: *with eyes shut* Do it and die.
Tim: *Gets the cymbals.*
Bruce: I can make you think you're a 6 year old girl, even with a hangover. Don't try it.
Tim: *gives drums and cymbals to Babs.*
Babs: *makes loud noise.*
Tim: Well, it wasn't me.
Bruce: I know, but you're not as close to *cough*Dark*cough* Phoenixdom as Oracle. *shifts on couch*
Videoscreens: *switch on!*
Bruce: Ow. Lay on... well, it's like a remote, if it was like a laptop...
Babs: It is *mine* after all, Bruce... *grins like the cat who got the cream* say, why don't you look what's playing?
Bruce: *looks up, groans* Oh, noooooo...
Babs: Oh, yes!
Tim: Ah, not again! Not Bruce hitting on Diana! It was bad enough watching it in real life!
Tim: And here we are with you singing Jingle Bell Rock again. Argh!
Bruce: *watches in horror.* *sends a telepathic message of horror to Selina.*
Selina: *runs in.* What happened?! Argh! He's dancing on tables!
Tim: Ollie and Roy got Bruce drunk on spiked punch.
Selina: Poor baby...*comforts Bruce.*
Tim: While drunk, he started making out with Diana.
Babs: *shows the clip.*
Selina: *slaps Bruce upside the head.*
Bruce: OW!
Selina: Poor baby...
Babs: Tim, I think you'd better get Bruce out of here now. And say hi to Dad when you see him.
Bruce: Nooo, I'm comfortable! If headachey...
Selina: And just how comfortable do you think you're going to stay? *examines the claws of her outfit*
Tim: *stops trying to reason, starts just dragging the whole couch out* Little help? Use your Phoenix powers or something!
Selina: *claws Bruce on the arm.*
Bruce: OW! Sure, Tim! *Sends the couch back to Wayne Manor.*
Tim: Don't forget me!
Bruce: Sorry! *teleports Tim over.*
Selina: *stares at Babs*
Babs: Heh. Selina. Why are you looking at me like that?
Selina: Wondering if you were behind spiking the punch?
Babs: Of course not!
Selina: *watches her.*
Babs: Bruce!
Bruce: *teleports Babs to safety.*
Jim: Ah, Barbara, good, you're here. Come help an old copper out - I was just wondering what would happen should Catwoman find out...
Bruce/Babs/Tim: SHE KNOWS!!
Bruce: *holds up arm*
Jim: Ah. Oh. Hiding now?
Bruce: Where?
Jim: Mars?
Bruce: No air on Mars. What about the Watchtower?
Jim: No! Last time I went there, we ended up being put into a compromising position!
Bruce: Ah, yes. Wally's scary joke.
Tim and Babs: *horrified stare.*
Tim: I won't ask.
Babs: Even I shied away from that.
Dick, flying in: Hey, I got that wall!
Babs: Drop it and get in here now, Dick!
Dick: Babs, hi! Just let me...
Babs: Drop it now! Selina knows, I know what you said, and hi!
Dick: :eep: :eep: *drop*
Babs: You're not in trouble, get down here.
Dick: Oohhhkaaaay....
Babs: I'll get you later!
Dick: Hold me!
Bruce: *ends up holding him.* This is too strange for words!
Babs: *stares at Bruce.*
Bruce: *drops him into her lap.*
Babs: Thank you.
Tim: The Batclan. The most insane family in the universe!
Everyone: *nods*
Bruce: *writes* To: Rachel Summers, Jean Grey; The White Hot Room - your family has got *nothing* on mine!
Rachel Summers: To: Bruce Wayne and Family: You're family tree isn't nearly as complicated. So there!
Bruce: *reads note. Breaks down laughing.*
Tim: Is he still sane? *takes note.*
Dick: Well? What's it say?
Tim: *smirking--hands it to him.*
Dick: *reads* This is true.
Babs: Yoink! *snatches note* Oh yeah. Have you ever had Alfred...
Dick/Bruce/Tim: YES!
Babs: Ah. But have you ever seen it with diagrams?
Bruce: Noooo...
Babs: I burned out three computers to plot the timeline.
Alfred: *walks in with graphs, pie charts, diagrams...*
Bruce: No, please.
Alfred: What was that, Master Bruce?
Bruce: Err...hangover...nothing!
Tim: You big chicken!
Dick: Hide me!
Alfred: *begins lecture with everything--even a Powerpoint Presentation.*
5 hours later...
Dick/Bruce/Tim: Mercy...mercy!
Sean DC (11:42 PM) :
Jim: *answers knock at the letterbox* Hey, you've got two messages:
Bat-Phoenix: Told you so! Love, Rachel andlittle brother big brother Nathan -little brother, I remember when you were a baby! -big brother, that was three days ago, just ask Wade, -little brother, and hah! we've run out of room! *smiley face with one glowy and one scarred eye blowing a raspberry*;
and one that says "I know you're in there" with a Hello Kitty stamp.
Bruce: Uh oh. Time to face the music.
Alfred: *appears with large ball of wool* Here sir, take this, it may keep Miss Selina amused.
Babs: Don't tell me...
Alfred: *eyetwinkle*
Bruce: I am so dead! I just suffered through a 5 hour lecture. Think she'll have pity on me?
Dick: Nope. You're on your own.
Alfred: Suffered, sir?
Bruce: Err...enjoyed! That's what I meant!
(And let us draw a veil over this upcoming tete-a-tete...)
Context Free Theatre presents: The Morning After
Bruce: Why won't you look at me?
Tim: Scarred for life--you don't remember running through the mansion naked?!
Bruce: What?!
Tim: Or trying to sleep with Diana?
Bruce: *facepalm.* Selina is going to kill me.
Tim: Selina will have to get in line!
Bruce: *glares*
Tim: Forgotten scarred for life? Or maybe tipping a Christmas tree onto Superman's head?
Bruce: That was Clark?! I remember some sticking-out red shoes, but I thought it was the Wicked Witch of the...
Tim: *audible facepalm*
Bruce: I was more drunk than anyone thought, apparently.
Dick: *walks in* You thought you were diabetic!
Bruce: Oh. That explains the urge to have a blood test.
Tim: What was your blood alcohol level anyway?
Alfred: More than likely near alcohol poisoning. I have just completely watching those tapes of the events.
Dick: You're in trouble...
Alfred: And you two boys should have kept him out of trouble! Bad influences, the both of you!
Bruce: Is Clark angry?
Dick: Not really. Although, he was picking pine needles out of his hair for a while.
Bruce: Why was there liquor in the punch?
Dick: You really didn't get out much when you were younger? Ollie and Roy spiked the punch!
Bruce: WHAT?! They're dead! ow...hangover...
Tim: Get in line. Superman gets them first.
Dick: *nods* He's going to have Babs think up some way to punish them.
Bruce: *pales*
Dick: Something about his public image and all...
Bruce: Heh. Ever the boy scout.
Dick: Do you remember dancing with the lamp shade on your head?
Bruce: No...I did that?
Dick: Yep. Want to watch the tapes?
Bruce: Not unless Selina is around to comfort me.
Tim: You want her to see you making out with Diana?
Bruce: *look of horror.*
*Jim Gordon shows up.*
Jim: By any chance, did he get out of the house while he was drunk?
Tim: Well, we couldn't find him for an hour...why?
Jim: By any chance, do you think he could have spraypainted "Batman was here---Joker is stupid." on the back of police headquarters?
Bruce: *facepalm.*
Bruce: My love life, wrecked by one night of a different author with a different ship...
Alfred: Master Bruce! Once again, you are *not* Master Wade, in either his wacky or cured states, leave that fourth wall alone!
Bruce: *pouts* Cable got to do it...
Alfred: And if Master Nathan were to have himself sent on a cross-dimensional odyssey reducing himself to a baby in the hands of a mad geneticist before being rescued and undergoing accelerated aging after
remembering all his past life, would you do that too? (Cable and Deadpool issues 15-19 - go on, you know you're curious...)
Dick: What was that about the fourth wall?
Alfred: Quiet, young sir.
Bruce: I can't say whether or not I would do it...because I don't understand it.
Alfred: Good. There's hope for you yet.
Tim: I'd like to destroy the fourth wall.
Dick: Why?
Tim: *shrugs* Bored?
Dick: Not enough excitement with your mentor being drunk?
Tim: One of the more interesting nights.
Alfred: Then how about this one for complicated lives? *explains the Summers family tree.*
3 hours later...
Tim: *sobbing.*
Dick: *hitting his head against the wall.*
Bruce: When will it end? When will it END?!
Alfred: I should have added the warning. May cause madness when one attempts to figure it out.
Jim: Do you mind if we replace the fourth wall with the one that *someone* tagged last night?
Dick: If it gets me out of this, I'll move it here myself!
Jim: Good. It'll be a reminder of what happens when we don't notice drinks being spiked...
Dick: *noticing a familiar tone* That was scary.
Jim: Where do you think Barbara got it? She's far surpassed her old man though.
Dick: That's it, wall, here I come!
Bruce: For my reminder? *glares* I'll be sure to tell Rachel next time what you think of her family tree.
Alfred: Indeed, Sir? *bat glare*
Bruce: Indeed...
*staring match. 5 minutes later...*
Bruce: Argh! I give up--you're the creator of the bat glare!
Alfred: Quite right. Remember that from now on. *smirks.*
Dick: *watches* All hail Alfred!
Tim: *snickers.*
Bruce: This isn't over! Beware the wrath of a bunch of Dark Phoenixes...Phoenixi...whatever!
Jim: Would have been scarier if you had turned into Dark Phoenix for a moment...
Bruce: *facepalm.*
Jim: Can you use your Phoenix powers to fix the wall?
Bruce: We'll see...
Tim: I'm so telling!
Dick: No!
Alfred: Master Tim? Something you wish to share?
Tim: Um, yeah... Alf, you're the best and all, so awesome even Phoenixes back down... but it's far more fun to tell Oracle that big bro hailed anyone but her! Mweh heh heh... *evil grin.*
Bruce: *grabs Tim, and flies him to Babs.*
Tim: Hey, thanks!
Bruce: Anytime. Anything to get him into trouble wtih Barbara.
Tim: Good....good...mwahahahhahah!
Bruce: You need to work on the evil laughter a bit.
Tim: Any tips?
Bruce: At the proper time, Robin. At the proper time.
Babs: Ah, Tim, Bruce... have we learned something about not drinking a horse-trough of punch without checking it first?
Bruce: *Lurch-like groan*
Babs: I'll take that as a yes. So, what brings you two here?
Tim: *points* He does, because he can fly!
Babs: ...
Smartalec... and whose training would this be? Nevermind.
Tim: *proceeds to update Babs on the hail-Alfred, complete with waving arms and hand gestures*
Babs: I see. Thank you for telling me, I can see I have to prepare a special surprise for Dickie when he comes back. You may go now.
Tim: Hail Oracle!
Babs: *beams*
Bruce: I trust you'll share with us the results?
Babs: What I can, oh mentor-mine. What I can. *whistles innocently and happily*
Tim: Oracle knows all....and so does Alfred...but Oracle knows more of the all....and faster..um...
Babs: Keep digging.
Bruce: *facepalm.*
Babs: Nice try though - keep practising!
Tim: I'm trying, but trying to balance a normal life
Bruce: *snerk*
Tim: ...a *normal* life, being Robin, and giving proper due to two awesome figures... it's tough!
Babs: Flattery will get you everywhere.
Bruce: *snorts while laughing.*
Babs: Doesn't that hurt with a hangover?
Bruce: *grunts* Yes. *lays on her couch.*
Tim: *Goes to get the drums.*
Bruce: *with eyes shut* Do it and die.
Tim: *Gets the cymbals.*
Bruce: I can make you think you're a 6 year old girl, even with a hangover. Don't try it.
Tim: *gives drums and cymbals to Babs.*
Babs: *makes loud noise.*
Tim: Well, it wasn't me.
Bruce: I know, but you're not as close to *cough*Dark*cough* Phoenixdom as Oracle. *shifts on couch*
Videoscreens: *switch on!*
Bruce: Ow. Lay on... well, it's like a remote, if it was like a laptop...
Babs: It is *mine* after all, Bruce... *grins like the cat who got the cream* say, why don't you look what's playing?
Bruce: *looks up, groans* Oh, noooooo...
Babs: Oh, yes!
Tim: Ah, not again! Not Bruce hitting on Diana! It was bad enough watching it in real life!
Tim: And here we are with you singing Jingle Bell Rock again. Argh!
Bruce: *watches in horror.* *sends a telepathic message of horror to Selina.*
Selina: *runs in.* What happened?! Argh! He's dancing on tables!
Tim: Ollie and Roy got Bruce drunk on spiked punch.
Selina: Poor baby...*comforts Bruce.*
Tim: While drunk, he started making out with Diana.
Babs: *shows the clip.*
Selina: *slaps Bruce upside the head.*
Bruce: OW!
Selina: Poor baby...
Babs: Tim, I think you'd better get Bruce out of here now. And say hi to Dad when you see him.
Bruce: Nooo, I'm comfortable! If headachey...
Selina: And just how comfortable do you think you're going to stay? *examines the claws of her outfit*
Tim: *stops trying to reason, starts just dragging the whole couch out* Little help? Use your Phoenix powers or something!
Selina: *claws Bruce on the arm.*
Bruce: OW! Sure, Tim! *Sends the couch back to Wayne Manor.*
Tim: Don't forget me!
Bruce: Sorry! *teleports Tim over.*
Selina: *stares at Babs*
Babs: Heh. Selina. Why are you looking at me like that?
Selina: Wondering if you were behind spiking the punch?
Babs: Of course not!
Selina: *watches her.*
Babs: Bruce!
Bruce: *teleports Babs to safety.*
Jim: Ah, Barbara, good, you're here. Come help an old copper out - I was just wondering what would happen should Catwoman find out...
Bruce/Babs/Tim: SHE KNOWS!!
Bruce: *holds up arm*
Jim: Ah. Oh. Hiding now?
Bruce: Where?
Jim: Mars?
Bruce: No air on Mars. What about the Watchtower?
Jim: No! Last time I went there, we ended up being put into a compromising position!
Bruce: Ah, yes. Wally's scary joke.
Tim and Babs: *horrified stare.*
Tim: I won't ask.
Babs: Even I shied away from that.
Dick, flying in: Hey, I got that wall!
Babs: Drop it and get in here now, Dick!
Dick: Babs, hi! Just let me...
Babs: Drop it now! Selina knows, I know what you said, and hi!
Dick: :eep: :eep: *drop*
Babs: You're not in trouble, get down here.
Dick: Oohhhkaaaay....
Babs: I'll get you later!
Dick: Hold me!
Bruce: *ends up holding him.* This is too strange for words!
Babs: *stares at Bruce.*
Bruce: *drops him into her lap.*
Babs: Thank you.
Tim: The Batclan. The most insane family in the universe!
Everyone: *nods*
Bruce: *writes* To: Rachel Summers, Jean Grey; The White Hot Room - your family has got *nothing* on mine!
Rachel Summers: To: Bruce Wayne and Family: You're family tree isn't nearly as complicated. So there!
Bruce: *reads note. Breaks down laughing.*
Tim: Is he still sane? *takes note.*
Dick: Well? What's it say?
Tim: *smirking--hands it to him.*
Dick: *reads* This is true.
Babs: Yoink! *snatches note* Oh yeah. Have you ever had Alfred...
Dick/Bruce/Tim: YES!
Babs: Ah. But have you ever seen it with diagrams?
Bruce: Noooo...
Babs: I burned out three computers to plot the timeline.
Alfred: *walks in with graphs, pie charts, diagrams...*
Bruce: No, please.
Alfred: What was that, Master Bruce?
Bruce: Err...hangover...nothing!
Tim: You big chicken!
Dick: Hide me!
Alfred: *begins lecture with everything--even a Powerpoint Presentation.*
5 hours later...
Dick/Bruce/Tim: Mercy...mercy!
Sean DC (11:42 PM) :
Jim: *answers knock at the letterbox* Hey, you've got two messages:
Bat-Phoenix: Told you so! Love, Rachel and
and one that says "I know you're in there" with a Hello Kitty stamp.
Bruce: Uh oh. Time to face the music.
Alfred: *appears with large ball of wool* Here sir, take this, it may keep Miss Selina amused.
Babs: Don't tell me...
Alfred: *eyetwinkle*
Bruce: I am so dead! I just suffered through a 5 hour lecture. Think she'll have pity on me?
Dick: Nope. You're on your own.
Alfred: Suffered, sir?
Bruce: Err...enjoyed! That's what I meant!
(And let us draw a veil over this upcoming tete-a-tete...)
