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seandcOnce again, running commentary and watching the characters go nuts...
Context Fusion Theatre presents The Fanfic "Courtmartial"
Note, we just went with the commenting on a sentence by sentence basis, so the only thing going forward was the original fic.
Also, we don't really think John Stewart or any Green Lanterns are like this, in comics or cartoon, we're just running with the hyperbole turned up to 11... *gives Green Lanterns cookies*
"Nightwing looked at him as he picked up his mask. "No, but what other choice do I have?" He turned back and gazed into the small mirror hanging over his metal sink. Quickly, he applied the mask finishing his transformation. "I'm glad I don't have to wear the scrubs."
"It's a court martial ... this is your ... dress uniform."
"Never knew I was in the military," Nightwing replied with a smirk as he turned around. He released an audible sigh and moved over to Batman."
He's not in the military--but John is. Maybe it was his idea. :D
Robin comes in grumbling in blue: Damn computers can never make these things with a collar designed for actual people! What I wouldn't give for a few minutes with an actual tailor!
Batman, also in blue: I fail to see the source of your discomfort Robin. The specifications in the computer are designed to manufacture dress uniforms for maximum comfort.
Robin: Tell that to my neck!
Sound familiar? ;)
"Bats this thing has a time,” Batman turned his head and glanced over his shoulder interrupting Eel as if he shouted. Plastic Man sighed and continued, “ ... a minute ... you're gonna get me in trouble," Plastic Man mumbled as he stepped out and closed the door."
Later...
Plastic Man opened the door. "It's been a minute." Batman turned to face him. "Don't glare at me. I didn't set the times I just have to take him there. It's always the frigging messenger who gets killed."
Poor Eel. :lol:
The power of the Bat Glare. :D
And if he takes any longer, he's aiding and abetting too!
Green Lantern called the first witness--a guy I've never heard of.
"My twin brother, who can so totally prove the murderer is guilty!"
Elliot Brooks--he was just a guy whose door was accidentally knocked down by Nightwing. :lol:
And instead of the witness being against Nightwing, he seems to be helping the case.
He doesn't know his own strength :lol:
"Gee, sorry about your door mister... girl scout cookies?"
No, he thought Blockbuster was in that apartment--he was wrong. :lol:
And Lantern just ruined everything. Again.
"Flash nodded, "Blockbuster was armed and threatening Nightwing, correct?"
"Yes," the man said from the stand.
"Thank you." Flash turned and watched Barbara nod at him before he headed back for the table. "Nothing further."
Lantern stood, "Two redirect questions." At Wonder Woman's assent, he began, "Was Blockbuster still armed with a gun when they went into the stairwell?"
Elliott Brooks shook his head. "No. When Nightwing did the handstand kick thing it disarmed the big guy."
"I see. Now you said that Nightwing was 'really mad'. How mad is that?"
"Like he could kill the guy."
Lantern: Could you be more specific, he always looks like that!
Nightwing: Do not!"
Lantern: SEE?!
Nightwing: Stop that!
Lantern: See? Proof!
Nightwing: Can we get another Green Lantern in here?
Lantern: And defensive!
Nightwing: *facepalm.*
Lantern: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!
J'onn: *mindblasts him.*
Lantern: Stop that! Ow! *Is dragged away.*
New Lantern: I'm Kyle Rayner. I'll be taking over.
Nightwing: Woohoo!!!!!
John Stewart: Pretender! *ZAAAP!* Ok, I'm back, proceed with the trial.
Kyle Rayner: *twitches on floor*
Oracle looked up, her green eyes locking on Superman. "Could you describe Nightwing when you arrived on the scene?"
Superman looked up; his eyes took in the young man sitting beside the red headed attorney. "He was a wreck. Physically and mentally."
“Objection!” Green Lantern rose as he spoke. “Superman is not an expert and therefore would not be in a position to competently judge the state of mind of the defendant.”
Barbara turned slightly, “You’re saying that Superman, a hero who has lead nearly every hero associated with the Justice League, faced meglomaniacs on a daily basis, and dealt with desperate people as a matter of course through his heroic endeavors is not capable of telling if someone he knows almost as well as he knows himself is upset?”
John grimaced, but continued. “I’m saying that he’s approaching an area that while he might be familiar with, is not a trained expert in.”
Martian Manhunter leaned forward slightly and smiled, “Objection overruled. As the defense stated, Superman’s day to day experience give him sufficient knowledge to judge the mental state of someone in a high stress situation, especially a hero and someone well known to him. The witness may continue.”
Lantern: He's not a doctor, he's not a psychiatrist, and he's a big weenie who should be on trial himself!!"
And now, Alfred is telling Cass that she can't eat all the cookies. :lol:
Alfred tinkered around the kitchen as he baked Snickerdoodles and chocolate chip cookies. His senses were more than Batlike. Without turning, he spoke, "Miss Cassandra, those cookies are for Master Dick."
The girl froze, her hand above the cooling cookies. She had been trained as an assassin since birth. Stealth was her way of life, yet she couldn't sneak a cookie in this man's kitchen. She jutted her lower lip out. "He can't eat all of them."
"How many he eats is up to him." Alfred replied. "You can have some from the next batch. I want to box these up nicely for him. Master Dick will need a pick me up after the day's trial activities."
Cass: It's not as if he'll get these anyway. Green Lantern will space 'em!
Alfred: He wouldn't dare.
Cass: He would!
Fear Alfred--he will deliver cookies, or kill those who stop him. :D
"Do you think they'll let Dick have the cookies?" Tim asked almost absent-mindedly.
"I would not want to see the person who tries to prevent me from giving them to him," Alfred replied. He winked at Cassandra who giggled as she shoved a cookie in her mouth. "It's been far too long since I've seen that boy, and I dare say he will need a friendly face this evening."
Tim sighed. "I wonder how bad it's going?"
"Maybe it's not going bad," Cassandra said between munching her cookies.
"Maybe Barbara is slaying their case."
cut to:
*shraaaak**CHOOM!*
Babs: My computers!
John: Improper use of Justice League equipment!
Babs: You sonova..." *Babs launches herself out of smoking chair*
John: *ZAAAAP!!*
Alfred: My cookies! No! That's the last straw young man! *Grabs Green Lantern's ear, pulls him out of the room, and argues with him.*
Green Lantern: *Comes back in.* *begins sobbing.*
Batman: *smirk.* Now you know why I like him.
Green Lantern: I'm so sorry....
Babs: *twitches*
Kyle: *twitches*
Dick: He's sorry, trial's off! Woohoo!"
John: SHADDAP!! *ZAAAP!!*
Alfred: *Ultimate Bat Glare.*
John: I'm sorry! And I quit!
Kyle: *twitches.*
Dick: Someone want to check on Kyle?
Kyle: I'm fine. I just twitch when he talks. That, and being zapped 30 times will mess with anyone...medic?
Alfred: I'll signal Leslie...
John: *stiffens* Leslie... Thompkins, the MURDERER?! HOLD IT RIGHT THERE LIMEY!!
Dick: Different reality.
John: They're all the same!
Dick: Anyone else think he's crazy?
Tim: I do! I do!
J'onn: *mindblast.*
Tim: *slumps*
Everyone: J'ONN!
John: Um, that was me.. see? Pretty green ring...
J'onn: I was aiming for him--not Tim! *mindblasts John during that.*
John: Ow!
"Green Lantern stood tall and erect at the prosecution table. He looked over toward the defense, his eyes resting on the defendant who was talking in low whispered tones to Flash. Lantern's eyes then drifted behind Nightwing. "The prosecution calls Batman to the stand."
Prepare for death, John Stewart. Batman is not happy.
Only shown by how his fingers are leaving grip-marks in the stand and his teeth are grinding :lol:
"Any knowledge he has, he acquired as part of the Defense team. Batman is our primary investigator!" Barbara responded indignantly.
"Not when Nightwing confessed to him he wasn't," Lantern countered.
"WHAT!" Barbara shot back. "What are you talking about?"
"You know what that line in Miranda says, counselor, everything you say can and will be used against you. Your client's about to find out how true that is."
"You have absolutely no idea what Batman and Nightwing discussed or when they discussed it. You're trying to go on a fishing exhibition and I'm not going to let you do it!" Barbara retorted.
Green Lantern bent over his table, picked up a small, waiver thin, shiny silver disc and held it up to the court. "I know exactly what he said and when. We have it recorded."
Now Batman will really be mad.
"You recorded me?" Nightwing asked incredulously as he stood at counsel table. "You recorded me in my cell. Did you record everything? Did you record me talking to Barbara and Wally? You don't have any right -- "
"Sit down, Nightwing!" Barbara ordered before turning to the tribunal. "That ... recording ... was procured through an illegal wiretap and I move to suppress it and any evidence they may have or think they have garnered from that tape. You can't tape record people's conversations without their
knowledge."
"It wasn't done without their knowledge," Green Lantern said to the Tribunal. "Batman was very aware of the recording capabilities of the Watchtower. He installed the security system. It was his design. He knows the cells are set up for audio and video recording and he knew those systems were operative before he went to see Nightwing because Batman watched him on the monitors in the monitor womb. He has to testify."
"I do not have to *do* anything," Batman's deep voice growled out.
"If you refuse to testify, you're in contempt of court and we'll play the recording -- audio and video."
Babs: HEY! Recording everything he says is *my* job boyo! And I'm still not going to let you do it!
GL: You won't "allow"... the same way you won't "allow"... THIS?! *ZAAAAP!!!*
Babs: *blocks with forcefield.*
GL: Huh?
Babs: Didn't think of that, did ya?
GL: *pouts* Damned civilians.
GL: If you refuse to testify, you'll *both* be sentenced and found guilty and spaced!!
Babs: In another reality, I'm a Green Lantern! You can't do anything that I can't do!
Bruce: You'd better listen to her--she's scary!
GL: Oh yeah? Seems to me I can do any number of things you can't do, Oracle... like wa...
Flash: *zips up and covers his mouth* You *so* don't wanna go there!
GL: UNHAND ME!! *ZZAAAAPP!!* And yes I do!
Babs: Other mes, it'd be really nifty if you appeared right now....
*two other Barbaras turn up... one a Green Lantern, and the other....*
All: *gasp* DARK PHOENIX!!!"
DarkPhoenixBabs: Hey, there. *ZAAAPPP* Oops. Sorry, John.
John: *extra crispy.*
DPBabs: Oopsy... well, we are fire and chaos hehe...
Bruce: Oh, I can't wait to become Dark Phoenix!
Clark: Please don't say that--we have enough problems!
Tim: *facepalm.*
John's two eyes against burnt blackness: *blink blink*
John: Yoooou're dethpicable!
I love Batman--he went after GL. :D
"Batman moved silently through the chaos that had erupted in the courtroom. He had a destination. Nothing was going to get in his way.
Green Lantern stood shaking his head at Harper's loud antics. Harper got under his skin. He turned back toward the prosecution table to grab a book. Startled, Stewart jerked back. He was face to face with the Dark Knight. "How did you ... nevermind." He grabbed his papers and started shoving them into his file folders. The air seemed to ripple with kinetic energy as Batman continued to glare at the other hero. Lesser men would have already dissolved at the stare. "Want something?"
"You will not use me against my son."
"That will be up to the tribunal, Batman. I know its an ugly business but your boy -- "
Batman grabbed his ring hand in a lightning quick move, his grip so hard the ring started cutting into Stewart's skin. "No. You. Will. Not."
"Batman -- " Lantern jerked back, amazed that he couldn't free his hand from the Dark Knight's grip.
Releasing his hold, Batman silently crossed the space back to the defense table. "I will not allow this," he stated simply to Barbara. It was not a request. It was a fact. His hand rested on Nightwing's shoulder. The communication was clear, no verbal exchange was needed. He would not hurt Nightwing.
Barbara wheeled away from the table, "Theodore Kord! I want a word with you!"
"Theodore?" Booster, recovering from his standoff with Arsenal forced a smile, for his friend’s sake, and made a face. Then he stuck his tongue out at Ted. "The FULL name. Ooooo you're in trouble. You are SO in trouble now, mister! "
GLB and DPB: *snicker snicker*
John: You hurt my hand you emo ba.... ach, the hell with it! *ZAAAAAAPP!!*
John: *is fried by the Barbaras. extra charred crispy Green Lantern.*
Lantern: *blink blink* You'll live to regret this!!
Babses: *now syncronised in movement and thought turn to him - they are the Stepford Cuckoos turned up as far as the volume goes - and each powerful in their own rights, combined....*
GL: Should I be scared?
Bruce: Yes...yes, you really should be. *steps out of range.*
Dick: *backs out of the way.*
Babses: *Zaps him as much as they can.*
GL: Uh oh...
A universe over...
Cuckoos: Uh oh...
Emma: Uh oh...
GL: Yow!
Babes: Heh. Yes!
Dick: Great job. He's definitely charred.
Bruce: Step away from the smoking and charred corpse, Dick. If you make them mad, you could be next.
Dick: *backs away.*
Bruce shook his head. "I don't know what to do. ... I do not know what to do." He exhaled a deep breath. "I haven't felt like this since ... since ... this is how I felt ... the night ... my parents died. The day ... that Jason died ... when I held him in my arms. I have no control over this situation and I do not know what to do about it." He melted down into the sofa, his head resting in his hands.
Selina stopped and looked at him. His pain, helplessness, and frustration broke her heart. It also made her angry. "Do you want that disc to disappear? You know I can get it."
He looked up at her with his patented half smile, "I know you can ... but no. They'd know it was us."
"Do we even care at this point?" she asked, hands resting on her hips.
"They have back ups and back ups of the back up," Bruce answered shaking his head.
Meanwhile, on Earth:
"Mister Luthor! Mister Luthor! A disc just arrived! It's from a Green Lantern, he says if you don't hear from him in 24 hours you might want to broadcast it world-wide "big wink" if you know what he means"
And at that point, I think Batman would snap. :lol:
Note: John's talking to Jean Loring, not Jean Grey.
"Jean," John started, "I'm a warrior. Sometimes you have to take the risky moves to win the battle." He sat at the table and leaned back slightly in his chair.
"Calling Batman to the stand is not a risky move. It's suicidal." She placed her hands on her hips and glared at him over her small black rimmed glasses.
"I'm not scared of Batman," he growled out sitting his coffee cup down.
"Then you are stupid," she countered throwing her head back. She wanted to scream at his irritating confidence. "Ray has told me about that man. Anyone ... hell everyone ... should be scared of him."
Meanwhile, Roy is following Ollie around and shouting at him. Even in the shower. :lol:
"Roy, shut the hell up," Ollie said as he wrapped one towel around his waist, threw another towel around his shoulders and walked out of the shower. "I can't even relax for five minutes, can I?"
"No one else can! Why should you be any different than the rest of us!" Roy yelled as he followed his mentor from the bathroom into the bedroom.
"It'd be nice to take a shower without being yelled at."
"This is serious, Ollie!" Roy yelled slamming his fist on the dresser.
Lantern: I'm still not scared of that greasy git!
Jean: Fool, even Wolverine would think twice about fighting him.
And then, Bruce invents something where they can't be filmed while talking in Dick's cell.
"His head looked up at the sound of the massive door opening. He threw his hand up in greeting as Bruce walked in the door. Bruce stood silently, just watching him as the door closed behind him. When it locked, Bruce turned slamming a mechanical star shaped object onto the door.
"What's that?"
"Interference. Short circuits their surveillance equipment."
"You came up with that today, didn't you?"
"Yes."
Dick grinned. "I knew it. Have a cookie."
Bruce's eyebrow arched. "No time. We have a busy night."
Have a cookie, while someone is planning an escape. :D
a - Alfred's a good influence on that boy :lol:
b - insert the conversation Homer, Lenny and Carl have while setting up the tape into the security cameras when they want Friday off, and it shows Burnsy HL&C as they were in the 70s :lol:
"We are?" Dick asked biting into another cookie.
Bruce nodded. "Your friends have a plan for you to escape. Selina and I had our own plan. Both have some merit, I've adapted the best parts from both to a foolproof plan. We're leaving tonight. We will be utilizing the Outsiders' Pequod and --"
"No."
"No? You don't want to use the Pequod?"
"No. You know the simple exclamation giving a negative response," Dick parroted Barbara's words. "First, taking the Peqoud will play havoc on the sex lives of the twentysomethings of the hero set. You have no idea where that back seat's been," Dick said, then laughed at Bruce's confused look. "Besides, I'm not going anywhere."
Bruce: Time to escape.
Dick: No--our getaway car has been slept in.
Bruce: And you know this--how, exactly?
Dick: I did the sleeping.
Bruce: *Bat Glare.*
Dick: OK. More than sleeping.
Bruce: I am not hearing this, I am not hearing this lalalalalalalala
Dick: It's a pity you put that device up there, I'd give anything to have Green Lantern hear that bit heh heh heh...
"Yes sir. But I turned myself in to go through the process. Guilty or innocent, I need to be tried and judged. And while I love you for wanting to protect me from that, I have to do this. Can you understand?" Dick looked up at Bruce. He watched as Bruce's jaw flexed. Watched as anger changed to resigned acceptance.
Bruce sighed. "I am ... very ...very ... proud ... of you." He moved over and sat on the bunk beside Dick, his shoulders slumping slightly.
Dick smiled. "Thanks. I'm not sure I deserve it, but it feels good." He held the box of cookies out to Bruce and the two of them sat, enjoying the quiet normalcy of sharing a sweet together."
Bruce: Oh... um, in that case, you don't want to know my backup plan...
Dick: What backup plan?
Cell wall: *bursts inwards*
Hannibal Smith: Someone here hire the A Team? Well, today's your lucky day!
BA Baracus: What are you still sitting there for, sucka? Don't you recognise a jailbreak when you see one?
Bruce: Not what I was expecting...
Hannibal: Who were you expecting?
Bruce: Dr. Brown. Time Traveller.
Dick: When he gets here, can I drive?
Bruce: NO!
Hannibal: Good, we've already got our pilot right here! *points to Murdock*
BA: No way Hannibal! I don't even like getting in a plane with him, no way am I getting in a time machine with that crazy fool flying!
Bruce: We couldn't have hired the Power Rangers? Indiana Jones? Someone else?!
Dick: *facepalm.*
Bruce: What? You liked the Pink Power Ranger...
Dick: Bruuuce... not in front of the A Team!
A Team: *trying not to laugh*
Babs: Heh. *writes down for blackmail.*
Dick: Look what you've done!
And the mocking of John Stewart resumes. :D
"Lantern pressed the issue further, "Regardless of the recording or its inclusion, Nightwing confessed to Batman. There is no parent-child privilege like priest-penitent or spousal privilege. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. Nightwing said it and we can use it."
Roy grumbled from his seat in the back of the courtroom, "Ooooo Stewart learned a new word penitent, bet he has no clue what that means!" He was angry and sarcasm was an outlet for his anger.
Garth smacked him on the arm, “Shuttup Roy! Or we’ll get evicted from the courtroom." His eyes turned back to watch the proceedings going on at the front of the room."
Lantern: *points at Roy and Garth* AHA! Aiders and abetters! Space them! Space them!!
They were kicked out of the courtroom when it was decided that they would play what was recorded while Dick was in his cell.
Batman: *replaces testimony with an hour of Dick going to the bathroom.*
Stewart: And now, we play the tape!
Everyone: GAH!!! Turn it off! TURN IT OFF!!!!
Dick: Is this supposed to be more or less embarrassing for me?
Batman: Less.
Dick: By showing that?!
Batman: And did you have Dinah's number before? Or Jade's? Or...
Dick: Yes.
Batman: What about Wally's?
Dick: Yes...and he's my best friend!
Batman: Just making sure.
Babs: Hey short-pants, guess what? I got you a photo shoot for when this thing is over!
Dick: Oh? Where?
Babs: Um... Playgirl...
Dick: *facepalm.*
Batman: *attempts to comfort him.*
Dick: I also got Dr. Doom's phone number.
Batman: Really? Let me see that!
Dick: *gives him the paper.*
Batman: "Dick--here's my number. You pitiful lowly creature who is not from Latveria. Where my supreme rule..." It goes on for another page. Ah, here's the number.
Dick: Fantastic... *rimshot!*
John: Objection! Now he's trying to escape by breaking down the fourth wall!
Dr. Doom: Silence, minion! *zaps him.*
John: Medic...
Batman: Great--another crossover! *gets up to leave.*
Dick: Where are you going?
Batman: To make sure a character from Marvel doesn't steal the Batmobile!
*They both get out there just in time to see Storm drive off.*
Storm: Wolverine and Gambit were right! It was easy to steal!
"Bruce glanced toward the prosecution table. Loring was standing with arms braced against the table. She was speaking in low tones to a seated Stewart. Batman noticed her posture was stiff, and she was ticking something off with her fingers. Heat rose in his cheeks as his anger reached a boiling level. "I could strangle Stewart."
"That wouldn't solve anything and then you'd be sitting here," Dick solemnly replied.
"I would gladly take your place."
"I know you would," Dick gave his father a slight smile. "But I made my bed, I'll suffer the consequences of my actions."
Bruce: I could strangle Stewart.
Dick: Get in line!
Stewart: ddddIIII heard that! Everyone, they're threatening murder against anyone who opposes them!!"
Everyone: Sit down and shut up!
Stewart: NEVER!!!!
Dr. Doom: Sit down, minion!
Wonder Woman: Why is he still here?
Dr. Doom: I like Batman. He should rule Latveria with me--but I believe he prefers Gotham.
Wonder Woman: O..kay....and I think the trial can continue.
And then, Batman starts to suspect Stewart.
"I don't like what Hal became, what he did. But I respected him until his illness. I don't like what Harvey has become, but I respected Dent as a man and a lawyer. Stewart I don't respect. Not now. It makes me wonder about things ... like why he has a rabid dislike for you. Kord thinks you're guilty and I understand why he is doing this. But Stewart ... Stewart is leading the band like he has something to make up for. I don't trust him."
Dick: Um... Bruce? You know what I said about the Pequod?
Bruce: No, since I'm blocking it...
Dick: Well, John liked the same girl....
Bruce: Not listening! *rocks back and forth.*
Dick: Hey--get yourself together! You testify now!
Wonder Woman: Next is Batman.
Dick: Um...Diana? I think I broke him.
Wonder Woman: *Looks* Yes, I believe you did. J'onn? Fix him please?
J'onn: Of course.
"Batman turned toward Green Lantern, "Ask your questions."
Green Lantern glared. "He has to place the lasso on. It's the rule."
"Make me," Batman ground out through clenched teeth.
"Just ... ask your questions Lantern," Captain Marvel sighed.
"Very well. Permission to treat the witness as hostile," Lantern asked the tribunal members.
"He's made one astute comment today," Batman replied under his breath. He steepled his gloved fingers in front of him and stared at Green Lantern."
"Permission to treat the witness as hostile."
Everyone: DER!!!
Batman: Besides, wearing the lasso might give Selina... ideas...
Dick: AUGH!
Batman: Heh heh. Payback!
Bart: Does anyone else think he looks like Gendo Ikari with his fingers like that?
Batman (in Gendo voice): Incorrect.
Bart: *shudders*
All the people who are witnesses end up wearing Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth. They don't swear to tell the truth--they have to tell the truth. Batman refused to wear it.
"State your name for the record," Lantern asked from his table.
"..."
The room sat in awkward silence for minutes, no one saying anything. Barbara groaned as she pulled off her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose. Flash tapped his foot so fast it vibrated through the titanium floor. Jean shook her head and flipped through her evidence book as Ted moaned. Green Arrow actually cracked a smile before the Martian Manhunter elbowed him in the ribs. Diana and Arthur shared an annoyed look as they waited for someone to do something. To break the loggerjam that had occurred."
Bruce: I am... Spartacus!
Plastic Man on the stand:
[Jim Carrey morph]: I... CAN'T... LIE!!!
Batman: *walks up behind him, and slaps him.*
Plastic Man: OW. Thanks--it's horrible when I think I'm Jim Carrey.
Batman: Don't I know it. Dick forced me to watch The Mask for 10 hours.
Plastic Man: But it's only 2 hours!
Batman: He watched it over and over and over...
Dick: It wasn't 10 hours--it was 30 hours!
Batman: I've blocked 20 hours from my life!
Babs: Um, Bruce? You've forgotten a few more hours....
Flashback to when the Ace Ventura films came out, Dick on the couch laughing his head off, Bruce in the cave headdesking...
Ditto Dumb and Dumber...
Babs: Bruce? Are you okay? Bruce?
Bruce: *twitching* *starts sobbing.*
Dick: You just had to bring his memory back, didn't you?
Alfred: He didn't forget. I hypnotized him--and when he started to remember J'onn removed the memory again.
Dick: It's sad really. He can't even handle that episode of the Simpsons where future!Lisa mentions his films...
Bruce: *screams and hides behind the sofa.*
Clark: *looks over.* Bruce? You still with us?
Bruce: NO MORE MOVIES!!!
Clark: Got it. No more movies. *rocks him.*
Bruce: Good! Promise?
Clark: Yes, I promise. Did Babs and Dick break you again?
Bruce: Yes!
Stewart: Yeronner! Add to the charge sheet "Breaking Batman!"
J'onn: Rejected as long as I am the judge! *mindzap.*
Stewart: Ow. Stop that!
J'onn: No!
Clark: Bruce? If you attack GL there won't be any other Jim Carrey movies to torture you.
Bruce: Really? Good! *Attacks GL.*
GL: AHHH!!!! Mindzap and Crazy Batman at once!
Bruce: And Quincey! Don't forget Quincy!
Quincy: Bees! *Attacks GL*
GL: Ah! Another crazy man!
J'onn: *wags his finger at Clark*
Clark: Sometimes it's so easy, I'm ashamed of myself...
Lantern: If J'onn can play that game, so can I! *ZAP ZAP ZAPPITY ZAP!!*
...
Great, now I've got to wait for everyone to wake up...
Clark: Not ashamed at all, in truth!
J'onn: Good. How's GL doing over there?
Clark: He's holding his own...ouch! Quincey got his ring. Bruce bit his ear!
Quincy: *Zaps GL now that he has the ring. Zaps with bees!*
Quincy: *runs away from his new green-bees!* BEEEESS!!!
Bruce: I'll save you! *Takes ring and puts it on* AH! Bats!
Quincey: Bees!
Bruce: Bats!
Clark: Another one?
John: ggrrrrrr I"LL take that!! *snatches ring, zaps both for good measure* And it's tigers!
Bruce: *twitch* bats...
Quincy: *twitch* bees...
Clark: You shouldn't have done that! *Fries him with heat vision*
J'onn: I think he's dead now. Why did you do that?
Clark: Nobody hurts the crazies on the Watchtower!
John: *blink blink* You're dethpicable!
J'onn: Indeed.
Bruce: Bats?
Quincey: Bees?
Clark: Yes, the bats and bees are gone. *Is tackled.*
Oh, no. Looks like the whole thing with Nightwing and Catalina is going to be revealed in the court.
What's a Catalina?
That's Tarantula's real name.
Ah
And now, Batman is trying to confuse Stewart. :D
Stewart tried to pounce. "Yes or No. Didn't Nightwing confess that he was responsible for Roland Desmond's death, that he caused it, that he was glad he was dead. Didn't he?"
Batman stared at Green Lantern. He could feel his jaw flexing as the nerve twitched in his cheek. His face was hot as rage coursed through his body. Yet, he was determined not to lose his control. Steadfast in that resolve, Batman gripped the arms of the chair as he answered. "No."
Green Lantern knocked off balanced for a moment, paused. Genuine bewilderment and surprise played across his face as he approached the witness stand. "Excuse me, did you say no?" He asked as he attempted to recover.
Batman continued to look straight ahead. "Yes."
"I'm confused," Green Lantern said as he shuffled through his papers looking for a document.
"Obviously," Batman replied coolly.
They're messing with his mind now. :D
"John turned to Jean who rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders. He watched her sit back in her chair, arms folded across his chest. "But Nightwing admitted to you that he stepped away so that Tarantula could murder Blockbuster?"
"No, I do not believe that was what he admitted to at all," Batman said in a calm demeanor. He kept his mouth in that rigid straight line. He would not allow himself to enjoy the flustered look on Stewart's face.
"Now you just said --" Green Lantern started, his voice loudly raised in exasperation.
"Objection! Asked and answered," Oracle said in an even tone. She did not even look up from her laptop where she was typing. "Green Lantern doesn't get to badger the witness just because he didn't like the answer he got."
John slammed the transcript on the table and turned toward Oracle. "He's not answering the question!"
"You want answers?!"
"I think I'm entitled." (Rubbish! Shaddap! ZAP!)
"You want ANSWERS?!"
"I want the TRUTH!!"
"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!! No truth handler are you! Bah, I deride your truth-handling abilities!!"
Babs: He's right. Next question?
Stewart: He hasn't answered this one!
Batman: *smirk*
Stewart: No more Battiness from you, or you're zapped.
Babs: And stop threatening the witness.
Stewart: I'm not threatening, I'm promising. This is threatening! *rings up a big knife and holds it to Bab's throat* See how threatening I am?
Babs: YOu forgot one thing.
Stewart: What?
Babs: Chair lasers! *shrreeeeeee*
Stewart: ouchies
Stewart: No more threatening of her. Just him! *puts knife to Batman.*
Batman: *throws him.*
Stewart: Ouchies.
Stewart: Ok, I'll threaten the toerag! *slashes at Dick*
Dick: *catches John's nose between his fingers, pokes at his eyes*
Stewart: ouchies
Stewart: OK...how about *mindzap.*
J'onn: I am a telepath, remember?
Stewart: Ouchies.
J'onn: Yes.
Stewart: *leaps across and catches J'onn in a half-Nelson* NOOGIE!!
J'onn: *phases out of reach*
Stewart: Uh-oh...
Stewart: *Goes to punch Diana.*
Diana: *watches as he breaks his hand.*
Stewart: Mega Ouchies!
Diana: Amazon, remember?
"What is your relationship to Nightwing?" Barbara asked casually.
"Relationship?" Batman looked at her, uncertain as to what she wanted him to say.
"How do you know Nightwing?" she attempted to clarify.
"He was my first Robin. He is my partner."
"And?" She laid her pen on her legal pad, and simply waited.
Batman watched her, he watched her mannerisms and almost imperceptibly, he nodded. "I am his ... father."
Dick: Nooooooooo....
Bruce: Look inside your heart. You know this to be true *snerk*
Bruce: Hey! I'm not Darth Vader!
Dick: *looks him over* Could have fooled me.
Bruce: Time to add that helmet to the costume...
Dick: NOOOOO!!!!
"Thank you," Oracle replied. She felt Nightwing's ill ease at the line of questioning, but this was too important to worry about Dick's comfort level. "As his father, is it fair to say that you know him as well, if not better, than anyone else?"
"Absolutely."
"Was Nightwing himself when he talked to you and made the statements we just watched?"
"Objection!" John Stewart jumped to his feet. "Batman is not an expert in Nightwing's state of mind."
"But I am an expert on Nightwing," Batman growled. He stood from the chair. He'd had enough of Lantern's accusations and games."
Bruce: No, he wasn't himself. He kept wandering around with his shirt collar pulled up over his head, saying something about being "The Great Cornholio"...
Lantern: Is this true?
Bruce: No, I think he said he was The Wizard of Oz!
Lantern: You're under oath!
Bruce: Actually, no I'm not. And Wonder Woman lost the lasso of truth! Ha! *is surrounded by the lasso.* Oopsie. Selina, not here!
Selina: *winks* Thanks Diana!
Stewart: Umm...no other questions. And I refuse to ask.
Bruce: Thanks!
Selina: You're welcome. Wait til later...
Stewart: Objection! Nobody needs to know this!
J'onn: Agreed. And it's more graphic in their minds. Be happy you are not a telepath...*look of horror.*
Lantern nodded, "I understand how you like to take all responsibility upon yourself, Batman, but my question was that you were not present when Roland Desmond was murdered. You have no way of knowing how Nightwing was in that stairwell that night, do you?"
"I know because I know Nightwing."
"You weren't there so how do you know?"
Batman glared at Green Lantern. "He was distraught."
Stewart snorted. "So you want to believe. Now, in all of Nightwing's crying and pleas for forgiveness and not being in his normal state of mind, Nightwing didn't tell you he had sex with the woman who pulled the trigger immediately after the murder, did he?"
Bruce: You kidding? I had to discern it from his strut...
Dick: HEY!
Bruce: ...and the way "Staying alive" was playing wherever he went...
"No. He did not have sex with Tarantula."
"No?" Lantern questioned as he walked from around the table.
Nightwing's head jerked up and he rose to his feet. "NO! It wasn't like that! It wasn't ... you don't understand!" Barbara grabbed his hand as Flash stood behind pushing him back in his chair. All eyes were upon him as he rested his shaking head in the palms of his hands, his elbows resting on the table top. "This doesn't have anything to do with this," he muttered.
"Oh, but it does," Stewart retorted then turned his attention back to Batman. "You said he didn't have sex with Tarantula? Have you looked at Elongated Man's complete report? OR is it that he just neglected to tell you about it?"
Batman did not turn toward the questioner, his gaze was fixed on Nightwing. The shake in his shoulders, the slightly shaking hand ruffling through his thick black hair, it was so apparent to him. Couldn't they see? "That ... was not ... he had ... nonconsensual ... sex with her."
Meanwhile, Green Lantern keeps on getting cruel in the courtroom. He doesn't believe a word that Batman says.
Lantern: Oh, but it does, you little scrote. C'mon, admit it. You'd've done anything for a bit of nookie. Even murder, if your latest paramour said to!!"
He said something very similar to that... Even Jean Loring--someone who eventually went psycho--knows that Stewart is nuts.
"Batman clutched the chair so hard it creaked as his tone dropped to a deadly octave. "I am not naive, nor am I a moron. You will not speak to me in this manner. What is it you believe Stewart? You believe that he was so happy Blockbuster was dead, he dropped his pants?"
"That's what the evidence shows," Stewart retorted as Jean shook her head and started looking for a bottle of aspirin in her briefcase.
Lantern: No! I'm not saying he dropped his pants! I'm saying he wasn't wearing any in the first place, since he knew what a happy he'd get!!
"Yes ... he couldn't. That's the point. Nightwing, physically and mentally, was in such a state that he could barely breathe much less stop her."
Green Lantern held up his hands waving them disgustedly. "I think I'm done with this fairy tale." He turned his back on the witness and headed around his table.
"Well I'm not done," Batman growled. "You started this. I'll finish it. If my successor, as you called him, is trained as highly as everyone knows he is, then why couldn't he stop her? He couldn't because he wasn't acting in a rational state. Nightwing is trained to react quickly without hesitation, because hesitation is fatal in the nonpowered arena."
Stewart turned back. "He didn't react because he didn't want to. He wanted Tarantula to do his dirty work for him."
"You don't understand. You may have the luxury to observe your fights from afar he does not."
"Oh, enlighten me."
Batman continued. His voice was an even keel not betraying the sheer utter rage that welled within him. "The fact he didn't leap away, leap in between, knock Blockbuster back, or even say anything," Batman began as J'onn focused on Nightwing, "is against everything in his normal activities."
Arthur nodded as Batman's testimony continued. He had watched Nightwing from the time he was a very young Robin. He had seen him training Garth and the other Titans, had fought along side the Titans countless times. He knew well what Batman was saying.
Batman continued. "In the hundreds of hours of recorded footage of Nightwing training and battle, he does not just walk away or not speak. To be honest, he talks so much it is annoying."
On tape: I remember one such fight we had against the Kaiser! It was a spring day in Nineteen Dickety-Two... we had to say Dickety since the Kaiser had stolen our word Twenty... *continues on one of Abe Simpson's rambles....*
Dick: You named a year after me?
Batman: Oh, shut up! Let me continue!
Babs: *facepalm.* He's going to impossible to live with now....
And this is true. Dick does talk a lot. :D
"Undeterred, Batman continued. "Nightwing didn't, he just walked away and collapsed. That is exactly how I know that he was so broken, he was not in a rational state. And yes Lantern, I would deem myself an expert on Nightwing. I have trained someone who has killed ... I know the difference. Without physical and mental duress ... Nightwing could not have walked away."
Jean popped back four aspirins and followed it with a big swig of water from her plastic cup. "I knew this was a bad idea," she whispered.
Lantern: Quiet you, this is the best idea I've ever had! Even better than the time I found $20 while looking for a peanut!
Batman: I have nothing to say to you--other than this. I'll be watching you all the time from now on.
Lantern: Even in the bathroom?
Batman: Maybe not everywhere.
Babs: Um, that's my job!
Lantern: *gulp*
Babs: *phones* Hello? National Enquirer? I might have something for you soon!
Lantern: *Horrified look.*
Batman: Good work!
Dick: That's my girl!
Babs: Oh?
Dick: Umm...wonderful job! Please don't put me in the tabloids...
Babs: Dickie, darling, certainly not the tabloids!
Dick: *phew*
Babs: Full colour glossies pay much better....
Dick: Eep.
Batman: There, there. She'll get the best pictures.
Dick: This is comforting?!
Batman: Hey, I'm new at it!
Besides, what I meant is she'll keep the best for herself...
Dick: You need to talk to Alfred. He can teach you how to comfort.
Batman: By baking cookies?
Dick: No, since you'd burn the manor down. Again.
Lantern: What strange lives do you people lead?!
Batman: Quiet you!
Lantern: Make me!
Batman: OK! *rushes him*
ZAP!!
Lantern: You can't stop me!
Batman: Oh, really? *Summons every Phoenix he knows.*
Lantern: Eep. *is fried.*
Superman: Ee! Ee! Ee! *bounce bounce bounce* Pleasure overload! Pleasure overload!
Batman: Too much information to write down?
Superman: Exactly!
Batman: Well...good. *Backs away when Clark bounces closer.*
Superman: *grabs Bruce and squeezes.*
Batman: Can't breathe....Dick?
Dick: Yes?
Batman: Send...help....
Supes: Wally! Take my notebook, start writing!
Bald Phoenix: Come on big guy, let go of Bat-Phoenix... *prises Clark's arms off him*
Normal-Phoenix-Babs: Isn't he cute when he's excited? *pets his head*
Jean: Well, who doesn't love a Phoenix?
Batman: Ow...
Wally: You're a Phoenix?
Batman: Yes.
Wally: Cool. Why haven't you fried me yet?
Batman: I'm not Dark Phoenix. Yet.
Phoenix-Alfred: And you're not going to be one either, Master Bruce's Doppelganger.
Batman: Could be if I wanted to...
Rachel: Nope, we'll stop you!
PBabs: And if you even think of it... I'll tell the other me!
Bruce: :eep: I'll be good!
Jean: Good boy *tousels his hair*
Superman: Fascinating. You ruffle his hair, and don't pull back a blood stump!
Jean: Weirdo.
Bruce: This is true.
Clark: :P
I'm telling the truth... see here? My notebook!
Bruce: *reads* 7 AM: Phoenix Batman wakes up, after going to bed 2 hours earlier. You're watching me?!
Clark: A little...
Bruce: And what have we learned?
Clark: If I stalk someone and watch them, don't show them the notebook....I'm dead, aren't I?
Bruce: Just let me get the Kryptonite...
Babs: Here you go Bruce! *hands over spare Kryptonite*
PBabs: *laughs* Just like I was when he was still alive in my realm.
Yeedibidiyee... more to come!
Context Fusion Theatre presents The Fanfic "Courtmartial"
Note, we just went with the commenting on a sentence by sentence basis, so the only thing going forward was the original fic.
Also, we don't really think John Stewart or any Green Lanterns are like this, in comics or cartoon, we're just running with the hyperbole turned up to 11... *gives Green Lanterns cookies*
"Nightwing looked at him as he picked up his mask. "No, but what other choice do I have?" He turned back and gazed into the small mirror hanging over his metal sink. Quickly, he applied the mask finishing his transformation. "I'm glad I don't have to wear the scrubs."
"It's a court martial ... this is your ... dress uniform."
"Never knew I was in the military," Nightwing replied with a smirk as he turned around. He released an audible sigh and moved over to Batman."
He's not in the military--but John is. Maybe it was his idea. :D
Robin comes in grumbling in blue: Damn computers can never make these things with a collar designed for actual people! What I wouldn't give for a few minutes with an actual tailor!
Batman, also in blue: I fail to see the source of your discomfort Robin. The specifications in the computer are designed to manufacture dress uniforms for maximum comfort.
Robin: Tell that to my neck!
Sound familiar? ;)
"Bats this thing has a time,” Batman turned his head and glanced over his shoulder interrupting Eel as if he shouted. Plastic Man sighed and continued, “ ... a minute ... you're gonna get me in trouble," Plastic Man mumbled as he stepped out and closed the door."
Later...
Plastic Man opened the door. "It's been a minute." Batman turned to face him. "Don't glare at me. I didn't set the times I just have to take him there. It's always the frigging messenger who gets killed."
Poor Eel. :lol:
The power of the Bat Glare. :D
And if he takes any longer, he's aiding and abetting too!
Green Lantern called the first witness--a guy I've never heard of.
"My twin brother, who can so totally prove the murderer is guilty!"
Elliot Brooks--he was just a guy whose door was accidentally knocked down by Nightwing. :lol:
And instead of the witness being against Nightwing, he seems to be helping the case.
He doesn't know his own strength :lol:
"Gee, sorry about your door mister... girl scout cookies?"
No, he thought Blockbuster was in that apartment--he was wrong. :lol:
And Lantern just ruined everything. Again.
"Flash nodded, "Blockbuster was armed and threatening Nightwing, correct?"
"Yes," the man said from the stand.
"Thank you." Flash turned and watched Barbara nod at him before he headed back for the table. "Nothing further."
Lantern stood, "Two redirect questions." At Wonder Woman's assent, he began, "Was Blockbuster still armed with a gun when they went into the stairwell?"
Elliott Brooks shook his head. "No. When Nightwing did the handstand kick thing it disarmed the big guy."
"I see. Now you said that Nightwing was 'really mad'. How mad is that?"
"Like he could kill the guy."
Lantern: Could you be more specific, he always looks like that!
Nightwing: Do not!"
Lantern: SEE?!
Nightwing: Stop that!
Lantern: See? Proof!
Nightwing: Can we get another Green Lantern in here?
Lantern: And defensive!
Nightwing: *facepalm.*
Lantern: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!
J'onn: *mindblasts him.*
Lantern: Stop that! Ow! *Is dragged away.*
New Lantern: I'm Kyle Rayner. I'll be taking over.
Nightwing: Woohoo!!!!!
John Stewart: Pretender! *ZAAAP!* Ok, I'm back, proceed with the trial.
Kyle Rayner: *twitches on floor*
Oracle looked up, her green eyes locking on Superman. "Could you describe Nightwing when you arrived on the scene?"
Superman looked up; his eyes took in the young man sitting beside the red headed attorney. "He was a wreck. Physically and mentally."
“Objection!” Green Lantern rose as he spoke. “Superman is not an expert and therefore would not be in a position to competently judge the state of mind of the defendant.”
Barbara turned slightly, “You’re saying that Superman, a hero who has lead nearly every hero associated with the Justice League, faced meglomaniacs on a daily basis, and dealt with desperate people as a matter of course through his heroic endeavors is not capable of telling if someone he knows almost as well as he knows himself is upset?”
John grimaced, but continued. “I’m saying that he’s approaching an area that while he might be familiar with, is not a trained expert in.”
Martian Manhunter leaned forward slightly and smiled, “Objection overruled. As the defense stated, Superman’s day to day experience give him sufficient knowledge to judge the mental state of someone in a high stress situation, especially a hero and someone well known to him. The witness may continue.”
Lantern: He's not a doctor, he's not a psychiatrist, and he's a big weenie who should be on trial himself!!"
And now, Alfred is telling Cass that she can't eat all the cookies. :lol:
Alfred tinkered around the kitchen as he baked Snickerdoodles and chocolate chip cookies. His senses were more than Batlike. Without turning, he spoke, "Miss Cassandra, those cookies are for Master Dick."
The girl froze, her hand above the cooling cookies. She had been trained as an assassin since birth. Stealth was her way of life, yet she couldn't sneak a cookie in this man's kitchen. She jutted her lower lip out. "He can't eat all of them."
"How many he eats is up to him." Alfred replied. "You can have some from the next batch. I want to box these up nicely for him. Master Dick will need a pick me up after the day's trial activities."
Cass: It's not as if he'll get these anyway. Green Lantern will space 'em!
Alfred: He wouldn't dare.
Cass: He would!
Fear Alfred--he will deliver cookies, or kill those who stop him. :D
"Do you think they'll let Dick have the cookies?" Tim asked almost absent-mindedly.
"I would not want to see the person who tries to prevent me from giving them to him," Alfred replied. He winked at Cassandra who giggled as she shoved a cookie in her mouth. "It's been far too long since I've seen that boy, and I dare say he will need a friendly face this evening."
Tim sighed. "I wonder how bad it's going?"
"Maybe it's not going bad," Cassandra said between munching her cookies.
"Maybe Barbara is slaying their case."
cut to:
*shraaaak**CHOOM!*
Babs: My computers!
John: Improper use of Justice League equipment!
Babs: You sonova..." *Babs launches herself out of smoking chair*
John: *ZAAAAP!!*
Alfred: My cookies! No! That's the last straw young man! *Grabs Green Lantern's ear, pulls him out of the room, and argues with him.*
Green Lantern: *Comes back in.* *begins sobbing.*
Batman: *smirk.* Now you know why I like him.
Green Lantern: I'm so sorry....
Babs: *twitches*
Kyle: *twitches*
Dick: He's sorry, trial's off! Woohoo!"
John: SHADDAP!! *ZAAAP!!*
Alfred: *Ultimate Bat Glare.*
John: I'm sorry! And I quit!
Kyle: *twitches.*
Dick: Someone want to check on Kyle?
Kyle: I'm fine. I just twitch when he talks. That, and being zapped 30 times will mess with anyone...medic?
Alfred: I'll signal Leslie...
John: *stiffens* Leslie... Thompkins, the MURDERER?! HOLD IT RIGHT THERE LIMEY!!
Dick: Different reality.
John: They're all the same!
Dick: Anyone else think he's crazy?
Tim: I do! I do!
J'onn: *mindblast.*
Tim: *slumps*
Everyone: J'ONN!
John: Um, that was me.. see? Pretty green ring...
J'onn: I was aiming for him--not Tim! *mindblasts John during that.*
John: Ow!
"Green Lantern stood tall and erect at the prosecution table. He looked over toward the defense, his eyes resting on the defendant who was talking in low whispered tones to Flash. Lantern's eyes then drifted behind Nightwing. "The prosecution calls Batman to the stand."
Prepare for death, John Stewart. Batman is not happy.
Only shown by how his fingers are leaving grip-marks in the stand and his teeth are grinding :lol:
"Any knowledge he has, he acquired as part of the Defense team. Batman is our primary investigator!" Barbara responded indignantly.
"Not when Nightwing confessed to him he wasn't," Lantern countered.
"WHAT!" Barbara shot back. "What are you talking about?"
"You know what that line in Miranda says, counselor, everything you say can and will be used against you. Your client's about to find out how true that is."
"You have absolutely no idea what Batman and Nightwing discussed or when they discussed it. You're trying to go on a fishing exhibition and I'm not going to let you do it!" Barbara retorted.
Green Lantern bent over his table, picked up a small, waiver thin, shiny silver disc and held it up to the court. "I know exactly what he said and when. We have it recorded."
Now Batman will really be mad.
"You recorded me?" Nightwing asked incredulously as he stood at counsel table. "You recorded me in my cell. Did you record everything? Did you record me talking to Barbara and Wally? You don't have any right -- "
"Sit down, Nightwing!" Barbara ordered before turning to the tribunal. "That ... recording ... was procured through an illegal wiretap and I move to suppress it and any evidence they may have or think they have garnered from that tape. You can't tape record people's conversations without their
knowledge."
"It wasn't done without their knowledge," Green Lantern said to the Tribunal. "Batman was very aware of the recording capabilities of the Watchtower. He installed the security system. It was his design. He knows the cells are set up for audio and video recording and he knew those systems were operative before he went to see Nightwing because Batman watched him on the monitors in the monitor womb. He has to testify."
"I do not have to *do* anything," Batman's deep voice growled out.
"If you refuse to testify, you're in contempt of court and we'll play the recording -- audio and video."
Babs: HEY! Recording everything he says is *my* job boyo! And I'm still not going to let you do it!
GL: You won't "allow"... the same way you won't "allow"... THIS?! *ZAAAAP!!!*
Babs: *blocks with forcefield.*
GL: Huh?
Babs: Didn't think of that, did ya?
GL: *pouts* Damned civilians.
GL: If you refuse to testify, you'll *both* be sentenced and found guilty and spaced!!
Babs: In another reality, I'm a Green Lantern! You can't do anything that I can't do!
Bruce: You'd better listen to her--she's scary!
GL: Oh yeah? Seems to me I can do any number of things you can't do, Oracle... like wa...
Flash: *zips up and covers his mouth* You *so* don't wanna go there!
GL: UNHAND ME!! *ZZAAAAPP!!* And yes I do!
Babs: Other mes, it'd be really nifty if you appeared right now....
*two other Barbaras turn up... one a Green Lantern, and the other....*
All: *gasp* DARK PHOENIX!!!"
DarkPhoenixBabs: Hey, there. *ZAAAPPP* Oops. Sorry, John.
John: *extra crispy.*
DPBabs: Oopsy... well, we are fire and chaos hehe...
Bruce: Oh, I can't wait to become Dark Phoenix!
Clark: Please don't say that--we have enough problems!
Tim: *facepalm.*
John's two eyes against burnt blackness: *blink blink*
John: Yoooou're dethpicable!
I love Batman--he went after GL. :D
"Batman moved silently through the chaos that had erupted in the courtroom. He had a destination. Nothing was going to get in his way.
Green Lantern stood shaking his head at Harper's loud antics. Harper got under his skin. He turned back toward the prosecution table to grab a book. Startled, Stewart jerked back. He was face to face with the Dark Knight. "How did you ... nevermind." He grabbed his papers and started shoving them into his file folders. The air seemed to ripple with kinetic energy as Batman continued to glare at the other hero. Lesser men would have already dissolved at the stare. "Want something?"
"You will not use me against my son."
"That will be up to the tribunal, Batman. I know its an ugly business but your boy -- "
Batman grabbed his ring hand in a lightning quick move, his grip so hard the ring started cutting into Stewart's skin. "No. You. Will. Not."
"Batman -- " Lantern jerked back, amazed that he couldn't free his hand from the Dark Knight's grip.
Releasing his hold, Batman silently crossed the space back to the defense table. "I will not allow this," he stated simply to Barbara. It was not a request. It was a fact. His hand rested on Nightwing's shoulder. The communication was clear, no verbal exchange was needed. He would not hurt Nightwing.
Barbara wheeled away from the table, "Theodore Kord! I want a word with you!"
"Theodore?" Booster, recovering from his standoff with Arsenal forced a smile, for his friend’s sake, and made a face. Then he stuck his tongue out at Ted. "The FULL name. Ooooo you're in trouble. You are SO in trouble now, mister! "
GLB and DPB: *snicker snicker*
John: You hurt my hand you emo ba.... ach, the hell with it! *ZAAAAAAPP!!*
John: *is fried by the Barbaras. extra charred crispy Green Lantern.*
Lantern: *blink blink* You'll live to regret this!!
Babses: *now syncronised in movement and thought turn to him - they are the Stepford Cuckoos turned up as far as the volume goes - and each powerful in their own rights, combined....*
GL: Should I be scared?
Bruce: Yes...yes, you really should be. *steps out of range.*
Dick: *backs out of the way.*
Babses: *Zaps him as much as they can.*
GL: Uh oh...
A universe over...
Cuckoos: Uh oh...
Emma: Uh oh...
GL: Yow!
Babes: Heh. Yes!
Dick: Great job. He's definitely charred.
Bruce: Step away from the smoking and charred corpse, Dick. If you make them mad, you could be next.
Dick: *backs away.*
Bruce shook his head. "I don't know what to do. ... I do not know what to do." He exhaled a deep breath. "I haven't felt like this since ... since ... this is how I felt ... the night ... my parents died. The day ... that Jason died ... when I held him in my arms. I have no control over this situation and I do not know what to do about it." He melted down into the sofa, his head resting in his hands.
Selina stopped and looked at him. His pain, helplessness, and frustration broke her heart. It also made her angry. "Do you want that disc to disappear? You know I can get it."
He looked up at her with his patented half smile, "I know you can ... but no. They'd know it was us."
"Do we even care at this point?" she asked, hands resting on her hips.
"They have back ups and back ups of the back up," Bruce answered shaking his head.
Meanwhile, on Earth:
"Mister Luthor! Mister Luthor! A disc just arrived! It's from a Green Lantern, he says if you don't hear from him in 24 hours you might want to broadcast it world-wide "big wink" if you know what he means"
And at that point, I think Batman would snap. :lol:
Note: John's talking to Jean Loring, not Jean Grey.
"Jean," John started, "I'm a warrior. Sometimes you have to take the risky moves to win the battle." He sat at the table and leaned back slightly in his chair.
"Calling Batman to the stand is not a risky move. It's suicidal." She placed her hands on her hips and glared at him over her small black rimmed glasses.
"I'm not scared of Batman," he growled out sitting his coffee cup down.
"Then you are stupid," she countered throwing her head back. She wanted to scream at his irritating confidence. "Ray has told me about that man. Anyone ... hell everyone ... should be scared of him."
Meanwhile, Roy is following Ollie around and shouting at him. Even in the shower. :lol:
"Roy, shut the hell up," Ollie said as he wrapped one towel around his waist, threw another towel around his shoulders and walked out of the shower. "I can't even relax for five minutes, can I?"
"No one else can! Why should you be any different than the rest of us!" Roy yelled as he followed his mentor from the bathroom into the bedroom.
"It'd be nice to take a shower without being yelled at."
"This is serious, Ollie!" Roy yelled slamming his fist on the dresser.
Lantern: I'm still not scared of that greasy git!
Jean: Fool, even Wolverine would think twice about fighting him.
And then, Bruce invents something where they can't be filmed while talking in Dick's cell.
"His head looked up at the sound of the massive door opening. He threw his hand up in greeting as Bruce walked in the door. Bruce stood silently, just watching him as the door closed behind him. When it locked, Bruce turned slamming a mechanical star shaped object onto the door.
"What's that?"
"Interference. Short circuits their surveillance equipment."
"You came up with that today, didn't you?"
"Yes."
Dick grinned. "I knew it. Have a cookie."
Bruce's eyebrow arched. "No time. We have a busy night."
Have a cookie, while someone is planning an escape. :D
a - Alfred's a good influence on that boy :lol:
b - insert the conversation Homer, Lenny and Carl have while setting up the tape into the security cameras when they want Friday off, and it shows Burnsy HL&C as they were in the 70s :lol:
"We are?" Dick asked biting into another cookie.
Bruce nodded. "Your friends have a plan for you to escape. Selina and I had our own plan. Both have some merit, I've adapted the best parts from both to a foolproof plan. We're leaving tonight. We will be utilizing the Outsiders' Pequod and --"
"No."
"No? You don't want to use the Pequod?"
"No. You know the simple exclamation giving a negative response," Dick parroted Barbara's words. "First, taking the Peqoud will play havoc on the sex lives of the twentysomethings of the hero set. You have no idea where that back seat's been," Dick said, then laughed at Bruce's confused look. "Besides, I'm not going anywhere."
Bruce: Time to escape.
Dick: No--our getaway car has been slept in.
Bruce: And you know this--how, exactly?
Dick: I did the sleeping.
Bruce: *Bat Glare.*
Dick: OK. More than sleeping.
Bruce: I am not hearing this, I am not hearing this lalalalalalalala
Dick: It's a pity you put that device up there, I'd give anything to have Green Lantern hear that bit heh heh heh...
"Yes sir. But I turned myself in to go through the process. Guilty or innocent, I need to be tried and judged. And while I love you for wanting to protect me from that, I have to do this. Can you understand?" Dick looked up at Bruce. He watched as Bruce's jaw flexed. Watched as anger changed to resigned acceptance.
Bruce sighed. "I am ... very ...very ... proud ... of you." He moved over and sat on the bunk beside Dick, his shoulders slumping slightly.
Dick smiled. "Thanks. I'm not sure I deserve it, but it feels good." He held the box of cookies out to Bruce and the two of them sat, enjoying the quiet normalcy of sharing a sweet together."
Bruce: Oh... um, in that case, you don't want to know my backup plan...
Dick: What backup plan?
Cell wall: *bursts inwards*
Hannibal Smith: Someone here hire the A Team? Well, today's your lucky day!
BA Baracus: What are you still sitting there for, sucka? Don't you recognise a jailbreak when you see one?
Bruce: Not what I was expecting...
Hannibal: Who were you expecting?
Bruce: Dr. Brown. Time Traveller.
Dick: When he gets here, can I drive?
Bruce: NO!
Hannibal: Good, we've already got our pilot right here! *points to Murdock*
BA: No way Hannibal! I don't even like getting in a plane with him, no way am I getting in a time machine with that crazy fool flying!
Bruce: We couldn't have hired the Power Rangers? Indiana Jones? Someone else?!
Dick: *facepalm.*
Bruce: What? You liked the Pink Power Ranger...
Dick: Bruuuce... not in front of the A Team!
A Team: *trying not to laugh*
Babs: Heh. *writes down for blackmail.*
Dick: Look what you've done!
And the mocking of John Stewart resumes. :D
"Lantern pressed the issue further, "Regardless of the recording or its inclusion, Nightwing confessed to Batman. There is no parent-child privilege like priest-penitent or spousal privilege. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. Nightwing said it and we can use it."
Roy grumbled from his seat in the back of the courtroom, "Ooooo Stewart learned a new word penitent, bet he has no clue what that means!" He was angry and sarcasm was an outlet for his anger.
Garth smacked him on the arm, “Shuttup Roy! Or we’ll get evicted from the courtroom." His eyes turned back to watch the proceedings going on at the front of the room."
Lantern: *points at Roy and Garth* AHA! Aiders and abetters! Space them! Space them!!
They were kicked out of the courtroom when it was decided that they would play what was recorded while Dick was in his cell.
Batman: *replaces testimony with an hour of Dick going to the bathroom.*
Stewart: And now, we play the tape!
Everyone: GAH!!! Turn it off! TURN IT OFF!!!!
Dick: Is this supposed to be more or less embarrassing for me?
Batman: Less.
Dick: By showing that?!
Batman: And did you have Dinah's number before? Or Jade's? Or...
Dick: Yes.
Batman: What about Wally's?
Dick: Yes...and he's my best friend!
Batman: Just making sure.
Babs: Hey short-pants, guess what? I got you a photo shoot for when this thing is over!
Dick: Oh? Where?
Babs: Um... Playgirl...
Dick: *facepalm.*
Batman: *attempts to comfort him.*
Dick: I also got Dr. Doom's phone number.
Batman: Really? Let me see that!
Dick: *gives him the paper.*
Batman: "Dick--here's my number. You pitiful lowly creature who is not from Latveria. Where my supreme rule..." It goes on for another page. Ah, here's the number.
Dick: Fantastic... *rimshot!*
John: Objection! Now he's trying to escape by breaking down the fourth wall!
Dr. Doom: Silence, minion! *zaps him.*
John: Medic...
Batman: Great--another crossover! *gets up to leave.*
Dick: Where are you going?
Batman: To make sure a character from Marvel doesn't steal the Batmobile!
*They both get out there just in time to see Storm drive off.*
Storm: Wolverine and Gambit were right! It was easy to steal!
"Bruce glanced toward the prosecution table. Loring was standing with arms braced against the table. She was speaking in low tones to a seated Stewart. Batman noticed her posture was stiff, and she was ticking something off with her fingers. Heat rose in his cheeks as his anger reached a boiling level. "I could strangle Stewart."
"That wouldn't solve anything and then you'd be sitting here," Dick solemnly replied.
"I would gladly take your place."
"I know you would," Dick gave his father a slight smile. "But I made my bed, I'll suffer the consequences of my actions."
Bruce: I could strangle Stewart.
Dick: Get in line!
Stewart: ddddIIII heard that! Everyone, they're threatening murder against anyone who opposes them!!"
Everyone: Sit down and shut up!
Stewart: NEVER!!!!
Dr. Doom: Sit down, minion!
Wonder Woman: Why is he still here?
Dr. Doom: I like Batman. He should rule Latveria with me--but I believe he prefers Gotham.
Wonder Woman: O..kay....and I think the trial can continue.
And then, Batman starts to suspect Stewart.
"I don't like what Hal became, what he did. But I respected him until his illness. I don't like what Harvey has become, but I respected Dent as a man and a lawyer. Stewart I don't respect. Not now. It makes me wonder about things ... like why he has a rabid dislike for you. Kord thinks you're guilty and I understand why he is doing this. But Stewart ... Stewart is leading the band like he has something to make up for. I don't trust him."
Dick: Um... Bruce? You know what I said about the Pequod?
Bruce: No, since I'm blocking it...
Dick: Well, John liked the same girl....
Bruce: Not listening! *rocks back and forth.*
Dick: Hey--get yourself together! You testify now!
Wonder Woman: Next is Batman.
Dick: Um...Diana? I think I broke him.
Wonder Woman: *Looks* Yes, I believe you did. J'onn? Fix him please?
J'onn: Of course.
"Batman turned toward Green Lantern, "Ask your questions."
Green Lantern glared. "He has to place the lasso on. It's the rule."
"Make me," Batman ground out through clenched teeth.
"Just ... ask your questions Lantern," Captain Marvel sighed.
"Very well. Permission to treat the witness as hostile," Lantern asked the tribunal members.
"He's made one astute comment today," Batman replied under his breath. He steepled his gloved fingers in front of him and stared at Green Lantern."
"Permission to treat the witness as hostile."
Everyone: DER!!!
Batman: Besides, wearing the lasso might give Selina... ideas...
Dick: AUGH!
Batman: Heh heh. Payback!
Bart: Does anyone else think he looks like Gendo Ikari with his fingers like that?
Batman (in Gendo voice): Incorrect.
Bart: *shudders*
All the people who are witnesses end up wearing Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth. They don't swear to tell the truth--they have to tell the truth. Batman refused to wear it.
"State your name for the record," Lantern asked from his table.
"..."
The room sat in awkward silence for minutes, no one saying anything. Barbara groaned as she pulled off her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose. Flash tapped his foot so fast it vibrated through the titanium floor. Jean shook her head and flipped through her evidence book as Ted moaned. Green Arrow actually cracked a smile before the Martian Manhunter elbowed him in the ribs. Diana and Arthur shared an annoyed look as they waited for someone to do something. To break the loggerjam that had occurred."
Bruce: I am... Spartacus!
Plastic Man on the stand:
[Jim Carrey morph]: I... CAN'T... LIE!!!
Batman: *walks up behind him, and slaps him.*
Plastic Man: OW. Thanks--it's horrible when I think I'm Jim Carrey.
Batman: Don't I know it. Dick forced me to watch The Mask for 10 hours.
Plastic Man: But it's only 2 hours!
Batman: He watched it over and over and over...
Dick: It wasn't 10 hours--it was 30 hours!
Batman: I've blocked 20 hours from my life!
Babs: Um, Bruce? You've forgotten a few more hours....
Flashback to when the Ace Ventura films came out, Dick on the couch laughing his head off, Bruce in the cave headdesking...
Ditto Dumb and Dumber...
Babs: Bruce? Are you okay? Bruce?
Bruce: *twitching* *starts sobbing.*
Dick: You just had to bring his memory back, didn't you?
Alfred: He didn't forget. I hypnotized him--and when he started to remember J'onn removed the memory again.
Dick: It's sad really. He can't even handle that episode of the Simpsons where future!Lisa mentions his films...
Bruce: *screams and hides behind the sofa.*
Clark: *looks over.* Bruce? You still with us?
Bruce: NO MORE MOVIES!!!
Clark: Got it. No more movies. *rocks him.*
Bruce: Good! Promise?
Clark: Yes, I promise. Did Babs and Dick break you again?
Bruce: Yes!
Stewart: Yeronner! Add to the charge sheet "Breaking Batman!"
J'onn: Rejected as long as I am the judge! *mindzap.*
Stewart: Ow. Stop that!
J'onn: No!
Clark: Bruce? If you attack GL there won't be any other Jim Carrey movies to torture you.
Bruce: Really? Good! *Attacks GL.*
GL: AHHH!!!! Mindzap and Crazy Batman at once!
Bruce: And Quincey! Don't forget Quincy!
Quincy: Bees! *Attacks GL*
GL: Ah! Another crazy man!
J'onn: *wags his finger at Clark*
Clark: Sometimes it's so easy, I'm ashamed of myself...
Lantern: If J'onn can play that game, so can I! *ZAP ZAP ZAPPITY ZAP!!*
...
Great, now I've got to wait for everyone to wake up...
Clark: Not ashamed at all, in truth!
J'onn: Good. How's GL doing over there?
Clark: He's holding his own...ouch! Quincey got his ring. Bruce bit his ear!
Quincy: *Zaps GL now that he has the ring. Zaps with bees!*
Quincy: *runs away from his new green-bees!* BEEEESS!!!
Bruce: I'll save you! *Takes ring and puts it on* AH! Bats!
Quincey: Bees!
Bruce: Bats!
Clark: Another one?
John: ggrrrrrr I"LL take that!! *snatches ring, zaps both for good measure* And it's tigers!
Bruce: *twitch* bats...
Quincy: *twitch* bees...
Clark: You shouldn't have done that! *Fries him with heat vision*
J'onn: I think he's dead now. Why did you do that?
Clark: Nobody hurts the crazies on the Watchtower!
John: *blink blink* You're dethpicable!
J'onn: Indeed.
Bruce: Bats?
Quincey: Bees?
Clark: Yes, the bats and bees are gone. *Is tackled.*
Oh, no. Looks like the whole thing with Nightwing and Catalina is going to be revealed in the court.
What's a Catalina?
That's Tarantula's real name.
Ah
And now, Batman is trying to confuse Stewart. :D
Stewart tried to pounce. "Yes or No. Didn't Nightwing confess that he was responsible for Roland Desmond's death, that he caused it, that he was glad he was dead. Didn't he?"
Batman stared at Green Lantern. He could feel his jaw flexing as the nerve twitched in his cheek. His face was hot as rage coursed through his body. Yet, he was determined not to lose his control. Steadfast in that resolve, Batman gripped the arms of the chair as he answered. "No."
Green Lantern knocked off balanced for a moment, paused. Genuine bewilderment and surprise played across his face as he approached the witness stand. "Excuse me, did you say no?" He asked as he attempted to recover.
Batman continued to look straight ahead. "Yes."
"I'm confused," Green Lantern said as he shuffled through his papers looking for a document.
"Obviously," Batman replied coolly.
They're messing with his mind now. :D
"John turned to Jean who rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders. He watched her sit back in her chair, arms folded across his chest. "But Nightwing admitted to you that he stepped away so that Tarantula could murder Blockbuster?"
"No, I do not believe that was what he admitted to at all," Batman said in a calm demeanor. He kept his mouth in that rigid straight line. He would not allow himself to enjoy the flustered look on Stewart's face.
"Now you just said --" Green Lantern started, his voice loudly raised in exasperation.
"Objection! Asked and answered," Oracle said in an even tone. She did not even look up from her laptop where she was typing. "Green Lantern doesn't get to badger the witness just because he didn't like the answer he got."
John slammed the transcript on the table and turned toward Oracle. "He's not answering the question!"
"You want answers?!"
"I think I'm entitled." (Rubbish! Shaddap! ZAP!)
"You want ANSWERS?!"
"I want the TRUTH!!"
"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!! No truth handler are you! Bah, I deride your truth-handling abilities!!"
Babs: He's right. Next question?
Stewart: He hasn't answered this one!
Batman: *smirk*
Stewart: No more Battiness from you, or you're zapped.
Babs: And stop threatening the witness.
Stewart: I'm not threatening, I'm promising. This is threatening! *rings up a big knife and holds it to Bab's throat* See how threatening I am?
Babs: YOu forgot one thing.
Stewart: What?
Babs: Chair lasers! *shrreeeeeee*
Stewart: ouchies
Stewart: No more threatening of her. Just him! *puts knife to Batman.*
Batman: *throws him.*
Stewart: Ouchies.
Stewart: Ok, I'll threaten the toerag! *slashes at Dick*
Dick: *catches John's nose between his fingers, pokes at his eyes*
Stewart: ouchies
Stewart: OK...how about *mindzap.*
J'onn: I am a telepath, remember?
Stewart: Ouchies.
J'onn: Yes.
Stewart: *leaps across and catches J'onn in a half-Nelson* NOOGIE!!
J'onn: *phases out of reach*
Stewart: Uh-oh...
Stewart: *Goes to punch Diana.*
Diana: *watches as he breaks his hand.*
Stewart: Mega Ouchies!
Diana: Amazon, remember?
"What is your relationship to Nightwing?" Barbara asked casually.
"Relationship?" Batman looked at her, uncertain as to what she wanted him to say.
"How do you know Nightwing?" she attempted to clarify.
"He was my first Robin. He is my partner."
"And?" She laid her pen on her legal pad, and simply waited.
Batman watched her, he watched her mannerisms and almost imperceptibly, he nodded. "I am his ... father."
Dick: Nooooooooo....
Bruce: Look inside your heart. You know this to be true *snerk*
Bruce: Hey! I'm not Darth Vader!
Dick: *looks him over* Could have fooled me.
Bruce: Time to add that helmet to the costume...
Dick: NOOOOO!!!!
"Thank you," Oracle replied. She felt Nightwing's ill ease at the line of questioning, but this was too important to worry about Dick's comfort level. "As his father, is it fair to say that you know him as well, if not better, than anyone else?"
"Absolutely."
"Was Nightwing himself when he talked to you and made the statements we just watched?"
"Objection!" John Stewart jumped to his feet. "Batman is not an expert in Nightwing's state of mind."
"But I am an expert on Nightwing," Batman growled. He stood from the chair. He'd had enough of Lantern's accusations and games."
Bruce: No, he wasn't himself. He kept wandering around with his shirt collar pulled up over his head, saying something about being "The Great Cornholio"...
Lantern: Is this true?
Bruce: No, I think he said he was The Wizard of Oz!
Lantern: You're under oath!
Bruce: Actually, no I'm not. And Wonder Woman lost the lasso of truth! Ha! *is surrounded by the lasso.* Oopsie. Selina, not here!
Selina: *winks* Thanks Diana!
Stewart: Umm...no other questions. And I refuse to ask.
Bruce: Thanks!
Selina: You're welcome. Wait til later...
Stewart: Objection! Nobody needs to know this!
J'onn: Agreed. And it's more graphic in their minds. Be happy you are not a telepath...*look of horror.*
Lantern nodded, "I understand how you like to take all responsibility upon yourself, Batman, but my question was that you were not present when Roland Desmond was murdered. You have no way of knowing how Nightwing was in that stairwell that night, do you?"
"I know because I know Nightwing."
"You weren't there so how do you know?"
Batman glared at Green Lantern. "He was distraught."
Stewart snorted. "So you want to believe. Now, in all of Nightwing's crying and pleas for forgiveness and not being in his normal state of mind, Nightwing didn't tell you he had sex with the woman who pulled the trigger immediately after the murder, did he?"
Bruce: You kidding? I had to discern it from his strut...
Dick: HEY!
Bruce: ...and the way "Staying alive" was playing wherever he went...
"No. He did not have sex with Tarantula."
"No?" Lantern questioned as he walked from around the table.
Nightwing's head jerked up and he rose to his feet. "NO! It wasn't like that! It wasn't ... you don't understand!" Barbara grabbed his hand as Flash stood behind pushing him back in his chair. All eyes were upon him as he rested his shaking head in the palms of his hands, his elbows resting on the table top. "This doesn't have anything to do with this," he muttered.
"Oh, but it does," Stewart retorted then turned his attention back to Batman. "You said he didn't have sex with Tarantula? Have you looked at Elongated Man's complete report? OR is it that he just neglected to tell you about it?"
Batman did not turn toward the questioner, his gaze was fixed on Nightwing. The shake in his shoulders, the slightly shaking hand ruffling through his thick black hair, it was so apparent to him. Couldn't they see? "That ... was not ... he had ... nonconsensual ... sex with her."
Meanwhile, Green Lantern keeps on getting cruel in the courtroom. He doesn't believe a word that Batman says.
Lantern: Oh, but it does, you little scrote. C'mon, admit it. You'd've done anything for a bit of nookie. Even murder, if your latest paramour said to!!"
He said something very similar to that... Even Jean Loring--someone who eventually went psycho--knows that Stewart is nuts.
"Batman clutched the chair so hard it creaked as his tone dropped to a deadly octave. "I am not naive, nor am I a moron. You will not speak to me in this manner. What is it you believe Stewart? You believe that he was so happy Blockbuster was dead, he dropped his pants?"
"That's what the evidence shows," Stewart retorted as Jean shook her head and started looking for a bottle of aspirin in her briefcase.
Lantern: No! I'm not saying he dropped his pants! I'm saying he wasn't wearing any in the first place, since he knew what a happy he'd get!!
"Yes ... he couldn't. That's the point. Nightwing, physically and mentally, was in such a state that he could barely breathe much less stop her."
Green Lantern held up his hands waving them disgustedly. "I think I'm done with this fairy tale." He turned his back on the witness and headed around his table.
"Well I'm not done," Batman growled. "You started this. I'll finish it. If my successor, as you called him, is trained as highly as everyone knows he is, then why couldn't he stop her? He couldn't because he wasn't acting in a rational state. Nightwing is trained to react quickly without hesitation, because hesitation is fatal in the nonpowered arena."
Stewart turned back. "He didn't react because he didn't want to. He wanted Tarantula to do his dirty work for him."
"You don't understand. You may have the luxury to observe your fights from afar he does not."
"Oh, enlighten me."
Batman continued. His voice was an even keel not betraying the sheer utter rage that welled within him. "The fact he didn't leap away, leap in between, knock Blockbuster back, or even say anything," Batman began as J'onn focused on Nightwing, "is against everything in his normal activities."
Arthur nodded as Batman's testimony continued. He had watched Nightwing from the time he was a very young Robin. He had seen him training Garth and the other Titans, had fought along side the Titans countless times. He knew well what Batman was saying.
Batman continued. "In the hundreds of hours of recorded footage of Nightwing training and battle, he does not just walk away or not speak. To be honest, he talks so much it is annoying."
On tape: I remember one such fight we had against the Kaiser! It was a spring day in Nineteen Dickety-Two... we had to say Dickety since the Kaiser had stolen our word Twenty... *continues on one of Abe Simpson's rambles....*
Dick: You named a year after me?
Batman: Oh, shut up! Let me continue!
Babs: *facepalm.* He's going to impossible to live with now....
And this is true. Dick does talk a lot. :D
"Undeterred, Batman continued. "Nightwing didn't, he just walked away and collapsed. That is exactly how I know that he was so broken, he was not in a rational state. And yes Lantern, I would deem myself an expert on Nightwing. I have trained someone who has killed ... I know the difference. Without physical and mental duress ... Nightwing could not have walked away."
Jean popped back four aspirins and followed it with a big swig of water from her plastic cup. "I knew this was a bad idea," she whispered.
Lantern: Quiet you, this is the best idea I've ever had! Even better than the time I found $20 while looking for a peanut!
Batman: I have nothing to say to you--other than this. I'll be watching you all the time from now on.
Lantern: Even in the bathroom?
Batman: Maybe not everywhere.
Babs: Um, that's my job!
Lantern: *gulp*
Babs: *phones* Hello? National Enquirer? I might have something for you soon!
Lantern: *Horrified look.*
Batman: Good work!
Dick: That's my girl!
Babs: Oh?
Dick: Umm...wonderful job! Please don't put me in the tabloids...
Babs: Dickie, darling, certainly not the tabloids!
Dick: *phew*
Babs: Full colour glossies pay much better....
Dick: Eep.
Batman: There, there. She'll get the best pictures.
Dick: This is comforting?!
Batman: Hey, I'm new at it!
Besides, what I meant is she'll keep the best for herself...
Dick: You need to talk to Alfred. He can teach you how to comfort.
Batman: By baking cookies?
Dick: No, since you'd burn the manor down. Again.
Lantern: What strange lives do you people lead?!
Batman: Quiet you!
Lantern: Make me!
Batman: OK! *rushes him*
ZAP!!
Lantern: You can't stop me!
Batman: Oh, really? *Summons every Phoenix he knows.*
Lantern: Eep. *is fried.*
Superman: Ee! Ee! Ee! *bounce bounce bounce* Pleasure overload! Pleasure overload!
Batman: Too much information to write down?
Superman: Exactly!
Batman: Well...good. *Backs away when Clark bounces closer.*
Superman: *grabs Bruce and squeezes.*
Batman: Can't breathe....Dick?
Dick: Yes?
Batman: Send...help....
Supes: Wally! Take my notebook, start writing!
Bald Phoenix: Come on big guy, let go of Bat-Phoenix... *prises Clark's arms off him*
Normal-Phoenix-Babs: Isn't he cute when he's excited? *pets his head*
Jean: Well, who doesn't love a Phoenix?
Batman: Ow...
Wally: You're a Phoenix?
Batman: Yes.
Wally: Cool. Why haven't you fried me yet?
Batman: I'm not Dark Phoenix. Yet.
Phoenix-Alfred: And you're not going to be one either, Master Bruce's Doppelganger.
Batman: Could be if I wanted to...
Rachel: Nope, we'll stop you!
PBabs: And if you even think of it... I'll tell the other me!
Bruce: :eep: I'll be good!
Jean: Good boy *tousels his hair*
Superman: Fascinating. You ruffle his hair, and don't pull back a blood stump!
Jean: Weirdo.
Bruce: This is true.
Clark: :P
I'm telling the truth... see here? My notebook!
Bruce: *reads* 7 AM: Phoenix Batman wakes up, after going to bed 2 hours earlier. You're watching me?!
Clark: A little...
Bruce: And what have we learned?
Clark: If I stalk someone and watch them, don't show them the notebook....I'm dead, aren't I?
Bruce: Just let me get the Kryptonite...
Babs: Here you go Bruce! *hands over spare Kryptonite*
PBabs: *laughs* Just like I was when he was still alive in my realm.
Yeedibidiyee... more to come!
