seandc

How might the stars (or a couple thereof) react to the way they're portrayed on tv?

Context Free Theatre presents: Talk of the Titans

Sean DC (08:56 PM) :
And the Titans themselves... would they be able to hold their heads up in public?
Anna1 (08:56 PM) :
No, definitely not.
Sean DC (08:57 PM) :
Random people shouting out from cars, singing the theme song...
Anna1 (08:57 PM) :
Nobody knows which Robin is in Teen Titans, either. It looks like Tim--but acts like Dick Grayson.

And he never takes off the costume.
Sean DC (08:57 PM) :
Transporter accident and stuck zipper :lol:
Anna1 (08:58 PM) :
Yes :D

Dick: I hate that show--I HATE IT!!!! It's ruined my life as Nightwing!
Babs: A little more fury, and you can be host to a Goa'uld.
Dick: Let us never speak of that again!
Babs: Aww...just because you couldn't tell the difference between me--and one of those things? *Rolls over his foot.*
Dick: That does it! *leaves to change costume.* I'm Redwing!
Babs: Not much of a difference, honey.
Dick: But I'm evil!
Babs: No, you just look strange in red.
Dick: *pouts.* Well, in red, I never have to say "I'm sorry" for not being able to tell again!
30 seconds...
Dick: I'msorryi'msorryI'msorry....

Batman: *comforts Dick.*
Babs: This is new.
Batman: Not commenting. But, Dick?
Dick: Yes?
Batman: You really should know the difference. *quickly leaves before being killed.*

Later...

Alfred: *watches Teen Titans.* I see why you went evil, Master Dick.
Dick: Thank you!
Alfred: Promise not to track blood in and I won't question where you've been.
Dick: You're strange--but...DEAL!!!

Later:
Babs: Don't tell Alfred I asked you to find out, but I want you to question Dick *all the time!*
Cass: Deal!

2 days later...
Cass: Who gave you that costume? Why is it red? Why aren't you Nightwing? Why are you covered in blood?
Dick: ENOUGH!!!! *curls in the corner and cries to make her stop.*
Babs: *evil laughter*
Cass: *hands Dick a tissue* Are you all right?
Dick: AH!
Cass: Or... listening person? He's broken!
Babs: Good...very good...
Dick: You're sure she's not a Goa'uld?
Cass: Positive.
Tim: She's definitely not one of those anymore. *eye flash to be scary. Really just an attempt to drive him insane by making him think Tim's a Goa'uld.*
Dick: Save me! His eyes are glowing!
Cass: *looks at his eyes* Nope, not glowing. They're the same as always... normal... now twinkling... now winking...
Dick: Twinkling? Have Alfred and Tim switched bodies?
Alfred: *facepalm.*
Tim: Ra was right. You wouldn't have made a good host.
Cass: *amused*
Dick: Whyever not? I'm young, fit, nimble, gorgeous...
Tim: Modest...
Dick:...all great qualities for a host!
Alfred: And you think this is a good thing?
Dick: I... oh.
Alfred: *facepalm*
Ra(in new body): Why would I want you for a host, when you didn't notice that your girlfriend was controlled by me!
Dick: But she's always like that...evil and rolling over feet...
Ra: *facepalm.*
Tim: Well, she is... and how did you get in here?
Ra: I... er... *to Alfred* Can I have Bruce?
Alfred: No, Master Ra. Go back through the Stargate.
Ra: What about her?
Alfred: Depends on whether or not Miss Cassandra wishes to be a host.

Ra's: *arrives* I have come upon a matter of great importance.
Bruce: And that is?
Ra's: Copyright infringement! He stole my name!
Bruce: *facepalm.*
Ra: I'm 5,000 years old.
Ra's: Well...I'm 800 years old!
Ra: I was here first.
Ra's: *slinks away.*
Alfred: That was...unique.
Bruce: You know *that's* never getting old!
Babs: And I filmed it all!
Bruce: And I'm not suprised in the least. You can blackmail Ra's now.
Ra: And again I prove my magnificence!
Bruce: Don't think about taking over this world, please. We can blackmail you, too.
Babs: Pfff, oh please. You may be Batman, but don't play a player!
Bruce: *raises eyebrow.*
Babs: And that won't work either.
Tim: By the way, the Tok'ra called. The want to know if, instead of an evil Go'auld, you want a Tok'ra.
Babs: Why us?
Tim: Why not?
Alfred: Soon after that Colonel O'Neill called as well. I didn't dignify the language he was using by writing it down, but suffice to say he was not complimentary towards the Tok'ra.
Bruce: Then, that's a yes. We'll do what he hates!
Alfred: Yes, Master Bruce. *rolls his eyes*
Tim: Yes, that's sure to not get us all in trouble.
Babs: *ahem* They were asking if *I* wanted one, and I haven't accepted!
*runs over Bruce's foot*
Bruce: Ow! It would just make you scarier, anyway! *gets other foot rolled over.* Stop it!
Babs: No.
Bruce: Sure you're not still possessed?

A sudden change in conversation to cover the famous rainbow-Batman costume and the Berry-era Catwoman outfit leads to...

Bruce: I think I want a change in costume...
Alfred: *raises eyebrow.*
Bruce: *dunks it in a vat of paint.* Perfect.
Alfred: Are you sane, Sir?
Bruce: Relax, it's not as if I'm cutting it all over...
Alfred: To save the multiverse, and as payback for that mental image... *empties tranq gun into Bruce*
Bruce: You--jerk...*passes out.*
Alfred: Miss Barbara? Come quickly--yes, it involves that frightening costume...yes...and he wanted to dunk his in paint.
Dick: *arrives* Seriously? He did that?
Alfred: Aye, lad.
Babs: *arrives, stares, pulls out shades*
Tim: The neon costume hurts!

Alfred: We must save Master Bruce from the madness his alternate self has caused.
Dick: What can we do?
Alfred: Call, Master J'onn. This calls for a massive mindwipe.
Cass: Can't do that. He's gone to help in the nexus-between-worlds.
Alfred: Then, when he gets back. Until then? *shows tranquilizer gun.*
Dick: Good idea! *randomly jumps between walls and ceilings, practising his acrobatics*
Babs: You so know how tempted I am...
Dick: Yes!
Bruce: What's going on? *is shot again* *passes out again.*
Alfred: I wonder if we should call Leslie?
Babs: Don't know... *grabs Dick: siddown!* what do you think she'd say to multiple tranquilisers?
Alfred: Only if he were a werewolf.
Everyone: *stares*
Alfred: He was once a vampire. Why not a werewolf?
Dick: I didn't know you Brits did Halloween.
Alfred: This "Brit", Master Dick, has been in this country for longer than you've been alive. And he is a master of using rifles. So kindly do not think that again.
Dick: *hides*
Alfred: Happy, Miss Barbara?
Babs: Oh, yes! *pays him for doing that.* Ah, twice in one day... sometimes he's just so easy, I'm ashamed of myself...

How might the JLA react if Batman was suddenly... nice?!

Context Free Theatre presents: Nice Bruce and Alfred's Fridge

Batman: I'm proud to serve with all of you.
JLA all: *gasp* You're dying?!
Everyone: *hurries to the tower and hugs him.*
Batman: What are you doing?!
Flash: You mean you're not dying?!
Superman: Are you possessed?
Batman: No! Stop poking me!

There's probably a whole bunch of poking sticks :lol:
Knowing them, you're probably right. :D

Bruce: Are you people crazy?
Clark: You complimented us!
Bruce: So? Once in a blue moon I do!
Clark: How can you tell? Watchtower's on the moon!
Bruce: *facepalm.* Figure of speech...
(Oowwwwwwww.... That's worse than my puns, Rachel!
Yes. :lol:)

J'onn: Calm down everyone! Now then. What is the problem?
Bruce: *mumbles* Bad puns and crazy people.
Flash: He was nice! He complimented me!
J'onn: Are you dying?
Flash: No...
J'onn: Are you?
Bruce: No...
J'onn: Possessed? A clone? A robot?
Bruce: No..can't I be sweet for once?
Everyone: NO!
Bruce: Is it that hard to imagine that I have a nice guy inside me?
Everyone: Um, yes...
J'onn: Any Goa'ulds in you? Tok'ra?
Bruce: No! Babs, yes. Yesterday. Me, no.
J'onn: Fascinating.
Bruce: I just thought it'd be nice to be nice for once, give everyone a break from my normal characterisation.
Clark: Thank you, but, well, it's scary.
Diana: And other people have to take up the slack...
Wally: *brood*

Bruce: Don't do it, Wally! *shakes him.*
Wally: What?!
Bruce: Brooding... *Goes into brood mode.*
Everyone: *sighs in relief.*
Bruce: Happy now?!
Clark: Muuuuch better.
Wally: Yippee! *zips out, returns with icecreams for all*
Bruce: *lurks in the corner.*
Diana: He's all better now!
Clark: Good. Freak-out aborted.
Wally: *gives Bruce ice cream.*
Bruce: *lurks, broods and eats at the same time.* (All together now... awwwwww :lol:)
Wally: *watches him.*
Bruce: What are you doing?
Wally: Fascinating how you can brood in a corner and eat ice cream at thesame time...*watches*
Bruce: Do I need to throw you across the room?
Wally: Erk, you've gone too far the other way!
Bruce: *grumble* Have not!
Wally: *tickles.*
Bruce: *tiny bat smirk.*
Wally: Yes! Bat Smirk=funny!
Bruce: I.. er... was not
Wally: Was so! I know you're trying not to laugh *keeps tickling*
Bruce: Am not...
Clark: *aims camera*
Bruce: Turn off the cameras or die!
Wally: *tickles at lightspeed.
Bruce: Too...much...effort...not to laugh...*briefly giggles*

A computer: *bing bing bing*
*bing bing bing*
Babs: All right, I'm up, I'm coming...
Computer: You have one urgent message from Kal-El.
Babs: Just let me get some sleep... *opens message* *stares* *cheers!*
Babs: Dick, get in here now!
Dick: What is it? Bruce?! He's laughing?
Babs: Yep!

Bruce: *on the floor laughing.*
Wally: *stops for a minute.*
Clark: Why'd you stop?!
Wally: Exhausting...trying to keep him laughing...*gasp*

J'onn: Did someone ask for a yard glass of double strong coffee?
Wally: *raises hand.*
J'onn: *is given the glass back 1 second later* *stares*
Wally: *shrugs* I'm fast and in need of caffeine. *resumes tickling.*
Bruce: hhahahanooooooo
Wally: Oh yes!
J'onn: Coffee. Almost as good as chockos.
Wally: *stops tickling for a moment, and resumes, while acting innocent.*
J'onn: What did you do?
Wally: Kinda sorta...ate them all...
J'onn: What?!
Bruce: Hee...heh...*snort* Extra in kitchen! Under the sink! *resumes giggling.*
Wally: Really? Excuse me... *stops tickling, and starts running*
J'onn: Not so fast... *is slightly ahead of Flash*
Wally: *jaw-drop* How are you doing that?
J'onn, now cradling choccos: My choccos were at risk. Nuff said.

Bruce: *quickly runs and hides where he can't be tickled.*
Babs: *over intercom.* Wally? You lost him...but I can find him! *evil laughter*
Bruce: *shudders, and tries to hide somewhere else*
Babs: You can run but you can't hide, Brucey! *plays with various computers until a readout of the watchtower appears* Ok, Wally...
Bruce: Nightwing! Protocol 16, now!
Dick: *grins* My pleasure! *starts kissing Babs's neck*
Babs: Hey! Not noowwwww hey no fair!
Babs: *puts up a sign that reads Out for Lunch, Dinner, and maybe Breakfast. May not be back for a while.*
Bruce: Good work, Dick! *resumes hiding.*
Dick: *stops* He was nice--we're sure he's himself?
Babs: Yes! Shut up and kiss!
Dick: Sure thing!
Babs: Really had to twist your arm on that one!
Dick: Oh yeah...

Bruce: *Smirks.* They'll never find me in the kitchen...
Wally: Hey, Bruce--found you!
Bruce: How?! I am a Master of Hiding!
Wally: *shrugs* I was hungry, and you were here.*
Bruce: *facepalm.*
Wally: *Dives at him, ready to tickle.*
*Benny Hill music plays as the chase goes around the Watchtower*

Bruce: *runs, and lurks.*
Wally: If you stopped lurking, it would be harder to find you.
Bruce: *glares*
Wally: Audible glares! So easy to track!
Bruce: D'oh! *runs a while, then hides in shadows*
J'onn: Do you need the help of a telepath?
Wally: No, he's easy for me to track. Probably has a silencer on his brain so telepaths can't hear him.
J'onn: Umm...right....*leaves, thinking Wally is insane.*
Bruce: *adds more tin-foil to the lining of his cowl*
Wally: *Finds him* The tinfoil makes noise. Easy to find you!
Bruce: Should have known...*gives up running*

(I make a comment about Homer in "Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk" here)

Bruce: Land of Chocolate?! I can lose Wally there! *jumps through portal*
Random Goa'uld: Jaffa Kree!
Bruce: Oh, no. Not a portal, a Stargate! *facepalm*
Wally: *dives in, too.*
Bruce: *glares*
Wally: *turns Bruce around so the glare is directed at the Goa'uld*
Goa'uld: *eep*
Bruce: *more Bat-glare*
Goa'uld: You may go home. Ra has mentioned you before.
Wally: You're famous!
Bruce: *glares*
Goa'uld: *opens Stargate for them.*

Wally: So...friends with a few Goa'uld?
Bruce: Babs was a host the other day. We drove them mad.
Superman: Where did you two go?!
Bruce: *Gives Superman a weapon.*
Clark: A stake? What does a stake have to do with where you went?
Bruce: I'm keeping the shiny ones for myself! And giving one or two to Babs, since she was once a host.
Clark: Sure that's a good idea? This is Babs we're talking about.
Bruce: True...
Everyone: *ponders*
Bruce: Ok, I'll give them to Alfred.

That night:
Tim: Midnight snack fridge raid!
Tacluchnatagamuntoron: *zap zap zap zap zap*
Tim: *cartwheels past the firing range* Wow. Alfred sure doesn't want anyone getting to the left-over chicken!
Dick: Since when was he a host?
Bruce: Maybe a part of his past he doesn't want revealed? *shrugs*
Tim: *is creeped out.*
Dick: By the way, where's Flash? He was chasing you.
Bruce: He still thinks I'm on the Watchtower. *is quickly tackled by Flash*

Alfred: *gets a ribbon device*
Bruce: Not again!
Alfred: Alas, not really practical, since one must be a host to use this device.
Wally: It looks shiny and cool though! *tickles Bruce more!* ("shiny and cool" is a valid description of weaponry and its usefulness - just ask Deadpool!)
Alfred: Hmm...
Bruce: Don't even think of making him a host!
Wally: *Hides*
Bruce: My turn to find him. *sighs* *trudges off to find Wally*
Alfred: Very well. I'll find *someone* who can use this. Not that we can name anyone in this city, can we, Miss Cassandra?
Cass: *delurks* Nope. Can't name anyone like that. Ok, he's gone. You're going to see Oracle?
Alfred: Correct. Or just leave this at her door. *departs*
Cass: *waits three minutes, then easily flips and jumps her way past the tacs to the fridge*

Later...
Alfred: Drat. Must replace the tacs. *upgrades with more weapons*

Babs: Ooh, Go'auld weapons!
Dick: You scare me.
Babs: Really?
Dick: Yes, always. Good work.
Babs: Flatterer.
Dick: You love it.
Babs: True, and it's sweet of you to keep it up.
Bruce: Please stop the scariness.
Babs: One word, Bruce: Blackmail.
Bruce: Scary is good! Be scary! *runs away*
Wally: *runs up* Have you two seen Bruce?
Babs: *points with newly-ribboned hand*
Wally: Thanks! *runs off after him*
Dick: That was weird.
Babs: Yep.

Wally: Hey, Bruce! Anything here to eat?
Bruce: Yeah, if you...
Wally: *zooms off*
Bruce: ..can get past the tacs
Wally: *stands in front of him eating an apple.*
Bruce: Of course you can. *walks away*

Elsewhere:
Alfred: The tacs must be faster! Faster, I say!

Tim: *throws m&m into field, watches the whole kitchen light up* Oh yeah, we're not getting past that any time soon.
Cass: *thinks, then runs to phone* Oracle? Can we borrow Nightwing for a moment?

A little later:
Cass: Need to find a friend of yours from a few weeks ago...

Later still:
Tim: Ok, so you're clear on the plan?
Kurt: Ja. Got it! *sneaks down the stairs to the kitchen*
Alfred: Nothing can get past my defences now!
Kurt: *bamf!* Guten abend, Herr Pennyworth! *grabs snacks and leaves* *bamf*
Alfred: Argh!

Alfred: *makes the tacs faster.*
Tim: Go get more snacks!
Kurt: *fries in the fridge. Like a bug zapper.*
Tim: What's taking him so long? Kurt? Eww...

(Awwwww... can we get a re-write?)

Tim: Oh, Kurt!
Kurt: Ja?
Tim: Ahhhh!!!!
Kurt: What?
Tim: Isn't that you?
Kurt: No, that is the piece of chicken I dropped as I teleported.
Cass: He's moved those things closer to the fridge.
Kurt: *holds his tail* I noticed!

Alfred: Two can play at the visiting-other-universes game! *swishes off to a secret part of the Manor*

Later:
Alfred: One salvaged shield generator - check. One kitchen - check. No people - check.
Shield: *hums*
Bruce: I'm hungry. *goes downstairs.*
Tim: Did someone hear something?
Bruce: *opens fridge and electrocuted.* AHHHH!!!!
Dick: I definitely heard that!
Bruce: Mmm...that was painful. Is Zuul in the fridge again?
Dick: Bruce? You okay?
Bruce: My hair is singed, and I'm laying on the floor. Do I look okay?!
Dick: *shrugs*
Bruce: Was it Zuul?
Dick: No, it was Alfred. *helps him up.*
Tim: *throws stuff at the shield just to watch it bounce off*
Bruce: Is Alfred possessed by Zuul?
Dick: You really did get fried, didn't you? No demons are getting out of the fridge, if they're there.
Tim: *watches something get fried.* Cool.
Dick: You scare me, Timmy.
Tim: *I* scare you? Who's the one living with Babs?
Dick: True. But still... Cass!!
Tim: Wha?
Cass: *grabs Tim and runs off with him*
Tim, fading into the distance: Cheeat....
Dick: Ah, the best way to always win. Sometimes it's so easy, I'm ashamed of myself.
Bruce: Really?
Dick: Nope.
Bruce: Didn't think so. And why did you get rid of Cass? I'm hungry.
Everyone left: *Stares*
Bruce: She could have gotten food from the fridge!
Alfred, delurking: I'm afraid not, Master Bruce. This shield was designed to protect starbases from bombardment. I severely doubt anyone, no matter how skillful, could get past that.
Bruce: *BatGlare*
Alfred: Sir, that doesn't work on me.
Wally: *arrives with food*
Bruce: *tackles and steals the food.*
Wally: Hey!
Bruce: Murglemurfle!
Alfred: He said "Turnabout is fair play" Master Wally. Although some people are apparently forgetting their table manners!
Bruce: *buuuurp*

Bruce: Starving! More food! *grabs more.*
Wally: We're sure he's not a meta? That was Flash level speed.
Bruce: Not a meta!
Wally: And why are you hungry?
Bruce: Alfred doesn't feed us! Pity me.
Alfred: I don't need to feed anyone, everyone keeps stealing food from the fridge!
Bruce: Not now it's shielded we can't!
Alfred: Oh.
Bruce: *calls the JLA and acts like supervillains are attacking.*
Everyone: *beams down.*
Superman: Where's the bad guy?!
Bruce: *points to Alfred*
J'onn: *sighs* What did he do?
Bruce: Surrounded the kitchen with tacs so nobody can eat! We're starving!
Diana: And nobody could get past the tacs?
Bruce: Well, Batgirl and Robin could, but then he put a shield in the fridge itself!
Clark: I... am... resisting... the... urge... to... facepalm...
Dick: *shrugs* He's Bruce. What can you do?
J'onn: Good point.
Clark: *gives in* *facepalm.*
Bruce: And he nearly fried Kurt! And look at me! I'm singed!
Diana: You do look a little crispy around the edges.
Bruce: *Batglare*
Clark: Kurt? Who's Kurt?
Kurt: *bamf* Someone call?
Dick: Clark Kent, Kurt Wagner, the me from another universe.
Clark: You're blue and furry in the other universe.
Dick: We're both in the circus!
Kurt: Did you date your sister, who was really a sorceress?
Dick: No! No sisters!
Kurt: *sadly* That's what I thought, too.
Dick: *look of horror* Babs?
Babs: We're not related! I checked!

Ahhhh!
Kurt did date his sister in the comics. *shudders*
I know, but I didn't need to be reminded
Good point.

Bruce: *look of horror* Selina?
Selina: *walks in* You're an only child, remember?
Bruce: Well...Bane was almost my brother.
Selina: *facepalm.*
Clark: *thinks for a moment*
Diana: Clark, you're an alien.
Clark: Oh yeah.
Bruce: Don't think about it, Clark. The writers will hurt you soon enough.
Clark: Gee, thanks. That's real comforting.
Bruce: Don't I know it.
DC Writers: Bwahahahahaha!
Kurt: They're freaky.
Dick: Like your writers aren't?
Kurt: Point. At least they'll leave me alone and focus on Scott's family for a while. Or Jean being resurrected...again....

Not even Batman or Batgirl can resist them!

Context Free Vignettes presents=Puppies!

calliopes_pen and I were reading this story here:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/m_butterfly/80158.html?style=mine#cutid1

Bruce: *broods.*
Alfred: *Glares*
Bruce: *runs away to the Fortress of Solitude while Clark is away, and broods privately.*
Alfred: *sends Eskimos to talk Bruce into coming home.*
Clark: *Watches it all in amusement.*
Cass: *lurks, and looks*

I could just see Cass looking at puppy :lol:

Cass: *Whines that she wants a puppy. Shows Bruce the puppy.*
Bruce: *looks at the eyes. Can't resist and buys her 3.*

Bruce: *watches Cass play with the dog.*
Alfred: Master Bruce? Your new puppy has arrived.*
Bruce: *manages to frollick and brood at the same time.*
Wally: How does he manage to do that?
Dick: He's brooding about how he should be on duty right now.
Alfred: That, and that he should go patrol.
Dick: And that somewhere out there...someone has
Everyone: Lost their parents like he lost his.
Bruce: I heard that!

Discretion is their watchword :lol:
Yes :D On occasion they finish his sentence when he's trying to say something similar.

Bruce: Criminals are--
Dick: A superstitious and cowardly lot. We know, Bruce.
Bruce: *Sulks.*
Babs: If we're not careful, he's going to stop talking all together.
Cass: *batglare* Being the silent one is *my* job!
Bruce: *Glares at them.*
Cass: *Also glares.*
Dick: *sends puppies after them.*
Bruce and Cass: *sit down and play.*
Dick: Sometimes it's...
Babs: So easy, you're ashamed of yourself!
Dick: *sulks*
Babs: Not you, too! *sulks.*
Alfred: Easy to see how you are related to Master Bruce. Master Bane? Stop trying to lurk over there! You are not Bruce's brother!
Bane: Shhhhh... if he forgets that I'm not, maybe I can have all his swishy things...
Alfred: *rolls his eyes and leaves.*
Bane: Brother! How are you?!
Bruce: Brooding.
Bane: Ah, you feel wonderful then.
Bruce: I said brooding.
Bane: For you that is wonderful!
Bruce:....
smartalec.
Bane: True, is it not?
Bruce: Well...yes...
Bane: Perhaps we are twins, separated at birth?
Bruce: I think I would know. *glares*
Bane: You remember birth?
Bruce: Yes. The doctor was scared of my glare. I did not cry--I glared. He thought I was evil and couldn't stop staring.
Bane: *stares*
Bruce: Kind of like you're doing now.

Elsewhere...
Babs: Liar. You don't remember that. *resumes watching, just in case there's blackmail.*
Bruce: *makes a hand signal*
Cass: *carries a puppy over to Babs*
Babs: *melts on cue*
Batman: *grins*
Bane: Are you sure you are not an evil mastermind?
Batman: Positive...have a puppy!
Bane: *stares*

Anna1: Bane with a puppy makes me think of when the Hulk tried to pet something and killed it. In Twisted Toyfare Theater.
Sean DC: Yes :lol:
A rabbit.
And a deer.
And a Cyclops....
Fade to black...

Talking statues are weird, like the Loa from Angel...

Context Free Theatre presents: Want fries with that?

Years later...
Batman: You're sure this is the only way to find out how Jason Todd came back from the dead?
Jason Blood: Positive.
Batman: Oh, mighty Loa...
Jason Blood: *snickers.*
Batman: Is this a joke?
Jason Blood: No...I just think it's funny.
Loa: Who dares to laugh?!
Both: Him! (Such a touching display of trust and self-sacrifice :lol:)

Loa: You humans are annoying. *turns back into what it was.*
Voice (think Squeaky-Voiced Teen from The Simpsons): Who's out there? Another psycho?
Batman: Um...no. I'm--talking to your mechanical hamburger.
Jason Blood: *Hides and cannot stop laughing.*
Batman: *kicks him.*
oice over intercom: Uh huh...would you like to place an order?
Batman: Um...anything except a giant hamburger.
Voice over intercom: Great, salad it is! *mumbles* Freaks in capes again.
Batman: That's fine.
Voice over intercom: Would you like fries with that?
Batman: Yeah, that'd be good... large fries, large drinks...
Voice: Ok, please proceed to window two...
Batman: *runs away*
Voice: Hey! I saw that! The giant hamburger knows all! Come back!

Batman: *dives into limo.*
Alfred: Master Bruce? Whatever is the matter?!
Batman: Can't talk now. Giant hamburger chasing me. DRIVE!!!
Alfred: I wouldn't worry, Master Bruce... look.
*Etrigan fights the giant hamburger with relish*
Etrigan: I couldn't resist, the pun was too great! *sloshes more relish at giant hamburger*
Bruce: *just stares* Alfred? Drive! Etrigan likes me!
Alfred: Indeed. Giant hamburgers and demons. What a night.
Bruce: *changes out of costume as they drive.*
Alfred: Sir, if you don't mind my asking...a giant hamburger?!
Bruce: Let us never speak of this again. You didn't hear anything.
Alfred: I never do, sir. Never have I heard a thing about any of your bizarre or nefarious activities.
Bruce: *Doesn't say a word.*

Elsewhere...
Intercom: Hello? I said to drive to the 2nd window....anyone there?
Loa: I am here!
Intercom: *sighs* Go away.*
Etrigan: I am here, as you fear!
Intercom: You're not the guy I talked to earlier.
Etrigan: Went into the night, where it isn't as bright.
Intercom: OK....
Etrigan: Such a very slow night - reduced to teasing a drive-thru operator. Blood can have this night. *switches back*
Jason: Um, still there?
Voice: Yeah. Are you going to come up to the second window or not?
Jason: Oh yeah. Just make sure you have super-sized everything ready.
Voice: Ok, just come up to the window.
Jason: *runs away*
Voice: Hello? Hello? Grrr...
Jason: Ha!
Voice: This is getting to be a regular occurance. Prank orders.

Elsewhere...
Alfred: And you teased a drive-through operator?
Bruce: Yeah!
Alfred: And left without getting the food?
Bruce: Yeah!
Alfred: You should be ashamed of yourself, Master Bruce! Go get the food--NOW!!!!
Bruce: *Scurries away in terror.*

Poor Bruce :lol:
Yes, it's not good to make Alfred angry :D

Batman: Um...hello?
Voice: *sighs* You again?
Batman: Yeah...um...sorry about earlier...
Voice: Going to order this time? Hmmm???
Batman: Sure. How much?
Voice: Well, with time spent reheating, and that demon's order? That comes to $199.99.
Batman: WHAT?!
Voice: Hey, you're problem, not mine. Next time, don't try this. Pull up.
Batman: But...
Voice: I said...PULL UP!!!!
Batman: Yes, Sir.

Bruce: *goes up to the window only to see also waiting for food:* Nightwing!
Dick: Batman!
Bruce: What are you doing here?
Dick: I ran away earlier, but Barbara ran over my foot and told me to come back and get food for real. You?
Bruce: Alfred, minus the foot running over.
Voice: So, you two know each other?
Dick: Yeah...sorry about everything. He's paying for mine, too.
Bruce: What?!
Voice: OK...with both of you and that demon, that comes to...$599.99.
Bruce: *chokes.*
Dick: You're lucky you're a billionaire.
Voice: Well, the demon ordered enough for a demon!
Bruce: Who sets your prices, the people who run the candy bar in movie theatres?
Voice: Got it in one - you should be a detective.
Bruce: I'm Batman.
Voice: That's nice. You'll also be broke soon, if you keep trying this.

Commissioner Gordon: *pulls up in a car.* Batman?
Voice: Now see here? This is how you order.
Gordon: Right...why are you here?
Batman: Prank orders--you?
Gordon: Actual orders.
Batman: Ah. *looks humiliated.*
Gordon: My daughter suggested I might like a break from cooking and get some burgers. Quite out-of-the-blue.
Batman, poker-faced: I bet.
Gordon: My daughter also told me that a superhero might be here.
Batman: Me?
Gordon: No, him. *points at Superman hovering over and watching them.*
Batman: He...saw the whole thing?
Gordon: Yep.
Batman: *facepalm.*
Superman: *smirks.* Blackmail for Oracle! Woohooo!!!
Batman: Perfect. Wonderful. Who else is going to *AHH!* *is startled*
Batgirl: *stares from where she's suddenly de-lurked*
Tim: I'm here, too. *also delurks.*
Batman: *shakes his head and just sits down.*
Gordon: *honks* Hey, people need to order!
Batman: *stands, looks humiliated even more and moves out of the way.*
Gordon: *as he goes past Batman* I'll tease you about this until the end of time!
Cass: Where's our food?
Bruce: Eh?
Tim: Alfred said you were getting burgers for us!
Bruce: *facepalm* Nightwing's got it. Go bother Nightwing.
Tim: He's got enough on his mind. *points to Gordon's car, and a 1000-watt smile coming from the back seat*
Babs: Ooh, it's that big handsome Nightwing! Whatever can he be doing here? *giggles*
Bruce: *considers telling her father everything.*
Babs: *Glares and holds up blackmail.*
Bruce: *facepalm.*

Dick: Hey, Babs!
Babs: Hey, shortpants!
Gordon: Heh. Thanks for confirming that he used to be Robin. Love the nickname.
Dick: *facepalm*
Gordon: I always wondered how managed to keep warm all those years... you ok Barbara?
Babs, coughing furiously: Yeah, chip went down the wrong way...
Dick, deadpan: Clean living and plenty of action swinging across rooftops.
Gordon: Even in the winter?
Bruce: *an attempt to have someone else humiliated* He froze parts off.
Dick: *glares*
Babs: *nearly chokes to death.*
Dick: *sulking, turns around* AHH!
Cass: *bat-stare* Nothing seems to be missing or frozen off.
Babs: *loses it laughing*
Bruce: *begins giggling.*
Gordon: There's a sight I didn't think I'd live to see.

What might happen if certain people get the top cop job in Gotham?

Context Free Vignettes presents: New Commish, Old Name

Bruce: Another Commissioner? 5th this month.
Dick: They didn't tell you who it was?
Bruce: No, why?
Dick: Come on! It's a surprise! *drags Bruce to the GCPD roof.*
Bruce: OK...who is the new one?
Babs: Me! :D

Babs: *downloads all blackmail material to the GCPD computers.*
Renee: Batman sings!
Bullock: He also runs around the Watchtower naked, apparently.
Bruce: *facepalm.*
Dick: Ooh, I get to be the power behind the throne!
Babs: If your dreaming makes you happy, trophy-boyfriend!
Batman: I'll just...slink away into the night.
Bullock: Prance around once--just for me!
Batman: *quickly swings to another roof, hides and just sits there.*
Babs: You just broke him.
Harvey: Who, me?
Cris: I thought it might be whoever added all that stuff to the computers... whoever that genius might've been... We can rule out Bullock right off the bat.
Bullock: *glares*
Cris: Your glare does not rival Batman's, so stop it.
Bullock: You don't scare me!
Renee: *glares at Bullock*
Bullock: You're coming close.
Renee: Oh, Batman? Bullock is really The Joker in disguise!
Batman: What?!
Bullock: Heh...she's kidding...*quickly runs away.*
Babs: I like her already!
Renee: *bows*
Bullock: *from hiding place* She's supposed to be on our side!
Tim: *watches in amusement, and hits Bullock with his bo staff.*
Bullock: Ow! Quit it!
Tim: What?
Batman: Who did what?
Renee: I don't see a thing!
Babs: I love it when a plan comes together. Soon, I'll take over the world!
Everyone: *stares*
Babs: Just kidding...heh...

Babs: Note to self... everyone knows too much...
Tim: Note to self... I can do whatever I want and get away with it!
Cass: Note to self...do not talk to self. It's stupid.
Babs: *glares*
Cass: What? It's true!
Batman: *smirks.*
Babs: Oh, now all the cops work for me... Montoya! Allen! Proctjnow! Please see these two grinning heroes out of my office!
Bruce: Absolute power, Commissioner....
Babs: Sweet, isn't it?
Cass: Ok, we're going, we're going. *grabs Tim and stalks out with him in his usual spot*
Renee: Y'know... I really didn't think I'd be seeing that when I woke up this morning.
Cris: It's Gotham. Since when does anything normal happen here? Plus, apparently Batman works for her.
Babs: I do not!
Bullock: She does. How else could she get all that blackmail on Batman?
Babs: I meant....he does not!
Everyone: *amused.*
Babs: I need more cameras. Someone, find me some more cameras...
Everyone: *tosses a camera at her feet.*
Babs: *evil laughter.*