seandc

Context Free Vignettes presents: Bat-blush

Anna1: I think it's cute for Batman to blush. Proves there's some level of normal left in him :D
And Babs would have blackmail. :lol:

Babs: The boss is blushing! Emergency bulletin to the Batclan! Batman is blushing! (Watching everything in the Manor like this, it's a wonder Babs has time to appear in BoP :lol:)
Batman: I'm Batman. I don't blush.
Catwoman: *whispers something only he can hear*
Batman: *blushes the brightest red ever.*
Catwoman: *smirks.*
Alfred: *takes pictures.*
Bruce: Alfred?
Alfred: Sorry, Master Bruce. Miss Barbara is... indisposed at the moment, I thought I'd help her.
Bruce: Wonderful....
Selina: Never mind all that, it's worth it to see you blush. It's cute...
Babs: *is remembering to breathe in a combination of shock and laughter*

Selina: *whispers in his ear again.*
Bruce: *turns an even brighter shade of red, and nearly faints.*
Alfred: *takes more pictures.*
Bruce: *Horrified look.*
Alfred: Stop that, Master Bruce. How horrified do you think I am, wondering what on Earth is being whispered that's making you react like that. I get the feeling I should remove the children from the same state...
Selina: Besides handsome, it didn't make you blush so much last night...
Bruce: *blushes more*

Alfred: Shall I send Miss Cassandra after him, to snap him out of it?
Selina: Aww, I was having fun!
Bruce: Please send her! Please!
Alfred: Fun, perhaps, Miss Selina, but I'm afraid that any cars passing the house will mistake him for a traffic light...

What happens if our heroes find out about their latest and greatest Big Book?

Context Free Vignettes presents: All Star Treatment

Anna1: And the guy that plays Zod in the movie, plays Jor-El in Smallville. :D
SeanDC: Now Clark knows how Luke felt :lol:
Yes. :lol: "Clark, I am your father--and your father's enemy."
Clark: Huh? You have multiple personalities?

Or just the classic "Noooooooooo!" :D
Yes. :D Or...

Bruce: Dick, I am your father!
Dick: Yeah? No kidding.
Bruce: You're supposed to scream and run away!
Dick: *looks him up and down* Not that scary.
Bruce: Oh yeah? I'm being written by Frank Miller!
Dick: *makes like Flash*

Alfred: What have you done to Master Dick? He is hiding in the foyer, crying about you kidnapping him.
Bruce: Oops.
Alfred: Did you mention Frank Miller again?
Bruce: *nods*
Alfred: *slaps him, and goes to find Dick.*

I was about to have Alfred smack Bruce around the head too :D
He deserved to be hit in the head. :lol:

Superman: *arrives.* What did you do? Alfred called me.
Bruce: Mentioned Frank Miller to Dick.
Superman: I love him--but he wrote you horribly.
Bruce: Need I remind you that you're next?
Superman: Meep. *cries in a corner of the cave.*
Alfred: Need I remind you that Lois will be here to slap you around in 5 minutes?
Superman: Meep. Hey, wait a minute... I don't have Miller, I've got Morrison!
Bruce: You're right.
Alfred: Indeed. Perhaps I should take some measurements for your and Miss Lois's new costumes now...
Bruce: I'll drop a few hints to the writers *evil grin.*
Superman: You scare me.
Bruce: Good. *makes a phone call.* Frank Miller is your new writer.
Superman: Please! Anything but that--please!
Alfred: Relax, Master Clark...
Clark/Bruce: Relax?
Alfred: ...I'm sure you'll avoid most of the danger inherent in this decision. I think, however, that someone should warn Master James though...
Clark: What about Lois?!
Alfred: I'm sure she'll be fine. She simply will wear very little.
Clark: Woohoo!!!
Bruce: *pouts*
Clark: What's wrong?
Bruce: You get a wife who wears little. I kidnap a kid, kill his parents, and act crazy.
Clark: And? You're not crazy?
Bruce: *batglare.*

Alfred: I'll just all Miss Selina to the call list then, Master Bruce?
Bruce: Selina eh? Woohoo!
Clark: Don't you already have someone being written in. A Vicki or someone?
Bruce: Who?
Bruce: Ick. Her? I want someone else!
Alfred: Miss Selina is on her way.
Bruce: Woohooo!!!!
Superman: He scares me when he's happy.
Alfred: Me as well, Master Clark. Me as well. *shudders*

Sorry, not that Doom...
Doom: BAH!

Bruce and laughter really don't mix - and fic writers think so too. Especially if the one laughed at is Alfred...

And when the get to Alfred and Bruce laughs at him? Bruce is smacked upside the head.
Again! :lol:
Yes :D

Bruce: OW! Why do you keep doing that?
Alfred: Why do you keep being an insulting little man?
Bruce: I'm not little!
Alfred: *Shakes his head and walks away.* Master Dick? If you please?
Dick: *Slaps Bruce upside the head.*
Bruce: Hey, watchit!
Dick: Hey, it's Alfred asking, can you say no to Alfred?
Alfred: *stands there letting the point illustrate itself*
Bruce: No, you know that.
Alfred: *beams*
Dick: Besides, I owed you that for yesterday.
Bruce: What? All I said was that I was being written by Frank Miller...
Dick: Yah!! *runs away*
Bruce/Alfred: *facepalm*

Later...
Oracle: *comforts him.* What's wrong, you big baby?
Dick: They said--they--said---ahhh!!!!
Oracle: What did they say?!
Dick: Bruce is being written by Frank Miller! *goes back to sobbing.*
Oracle: We're all doomed. *Shoves Dick off her lap, and rolls away to hide.*
Dick: Ow! That's what I missed in Bludhaven, the kindness, the listening, the concern and...
Babs: Are you coming to hide too or what?
Dick: Wait up! Whoa, wait, we've gotta warn Tim!
Babs: I've sent Cass. The rest... well, we've done all we can.

Tim: *pounding at the door* What about me? Let me in! LET ME IN!!!!
Cass: *sweeps Tim up mid-swing and doesn't stop until they reach the train station* Star City. We're going. Now!
Tim: You heard?
Cass: No, holiday. Of course I heard!

Huntress: Is someone forgetting me?
Black Canary: And me! Get me out of here!
Cass: *grabs Canary, and slings her over her shoulder. Leave without Huntress.*
Huntress: Grr...

Elsewhere...
Babs: Hey! Get out of my closet!
Dick: I want to hide--your closet is safe.
Babs: *rolls her eyes*
Dick: Ow! A high heeled shoe is poking me!
Helena: Sorry...
Babs: Helena? Why are you in my closet with my boyfriend?
Helena: Because that replacement-Batgirl left town without saving me too!
Babs: Get out of my closet. Besides, it can't possible be big enough for both of you!
Dick: Actually...Azrael is in here, too.
Babs: I thought he was dead?!
Dick: He wanted to hide, and got stuck in between something. How many dresses does a woman need?!
Babs: *glares*
Jean-Paul: Duuuuude...
Helena: *shakes head*
Dick: What?
Helena: You just... don't get it, do you?
Dick: What? Nobody gets that I'd be happy seeing Babs in the same dress all the time or in 50 different ones? I'd be happy if MMFFFF!!
Jean-Paul: Sorry. Hand slipped.
Bane: I shall break you all if you do not give me room!
Dick: Yeah--should have mentioned Bane was in here, too. Kinda like a clown car.
Babs: Never mention clowns in this apartment!
Dick: *is hit by Huntress* Ow!
Helena: Sorry. Slipped. *smirks*
Babs: Is my closet a portal to another dimension or something?!

Dick: *pained groan.*
Babs: What's wrong?
Dick: Bane kicked me...in a vital place...medic...
Bane: Sorry, young one. You need a wider closet!
Helena: *reaches out and slaps Babs*
Babs: Ow! Hey!
Helena: Haven't you learned anything about tempting the writers... I mean fate when it comes to other dimensions?!
PhoenixBabs: Obviously not.
Kurt: Ja. You'll only encourage them to bring in crossover characters.
Babs: So tell me...is anyone else stuck in there? *ignores Dick's groans of pain.*
Kurt: Nope. Not that we've seen.
Babs: Good.
Kitty: Nobody I've seen either!
Kurt: Katzchen? When did you get here?
Kitty: Just in time to provide the perfect punchline to your statement, fuzzy elf!

Bruce: *Arrives* Has anyone seen Dick?
Babs: Check the closet. Huntress, Bane and Azrael are in there, too.
Bruce: Bane?!
Dick: *groan of pain, as he slowly manages to crawl out.*
Bruce: Who did this to you?!
Dick: Bane...moved his leg too quickly....ow... *Shows bruising all over.*
Babs: *cringes* How many times did he do that?!
Dick: Five...ow...
Babs: *reaches in and slaps Bane*
Bane: Hey! I said I was sorry...
Babs: Now I'll have to think up something different to do tonight!
Bruce: Ahhhh!! TMI!
Babs: Payback!
Bruce: Come along, Dick. Frank Miller has been invited to dinner. He's going to tell what will be done to you. *evil grin.*
Bane: *horrified gasp.*
Dick: *crawls back into the closet.*
Bane: I shall protect you, young one.
Azrael: Why do you think I refuse to leave this closet? It's best to be presumed dead.
Babs: *phones Alfred* Alfred, have you heard the latest thing Bruce has been saying? About inviting Frank Miller to dinner with Dick?...
...
I didn't even know you knew those words... If you wouldn't mind...
...
*evilgrins* I'm sure he'll just looove that... G'bye Alfred. *pales before hanging up, and then looks at Bruce and grins.*
Bruce: What--did he say? *looks scared*
Babs: He says if you bring him for dinner there's a carving knife with your name on it.
Huntress: *Applauds from within the closet.*
Bruce: They're mine anyway, they already have my name on them.
All: *facepalm*
Babs: Let me put it this way. Stay very alert the next time you take a shower, or there may not be a Batman the next night.
Bruce: *cringes*
Bane: The old man has not lost his touch!
Bruce: I think I'll stay in the Watchtower for a while...

That night, The Watchtower, The Moon, Space.
Bruce: *takes a shower, blissfully unaware of a silhouette of three knifes raised on the curtain Psycho-style until he turns around* o/"Yummy yummy yummy I got YEEAAARGH!!
Shower curtain: *is pulled aside to reveal...*
Selina: *laughs wildly while retracting suit's claws* Oh, oh my, you should've seen your face!!
Bruce, flabbergasted: My face?! You came all the way up here just to scare the daylights out of me and see my face when doing so?!
Selina: Well, yeah. *quirks eyebrows* Although that's not all I'm seeing...
Bruce: *snatches shower curtain* *turns red.* If you please....could you wait in my room while I
finish my shower?
Selina: *looks him up and down, and smirks* Sure--I'll be waiting...
Bruce: *resumes shower* *sings When The Moon Hits Your Eye*
Someone else: *the shadow is seen in the curtain.*
Bruce: *Screams like a girl when the knife goes through the curtain.* Who's there?!
Alfred: It is I--and I warned you there was a butcher knife with your name on it...*looks evil.*
Bruce: *looks scared*
Alfred: So...here you are! A birthday present! *gives the knife* I just wanted to christen it with an old fashioned stabbing of the curtain. So long! *leaves*
Bruce: *sits on the floor.*

Now, we could say more about who comes to find who in the showers when someone doesn't show up to his room and various goings on thereafter... but let us draw a modest veil over these proceedings...