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seandcI don't think any introduction is needed for this one, really...
Context Free Theatre presents: Bruce the Wee Little Puppet Man!
Clark: What happened to you?
Bruce: Zatanna tried to mindwipe me again--things went badly.
Clark: So I see.
J'onn: *Amused, and staring.* You have become cute, rather than glowering. *pats his puppet cowl.*
Bruce: You're the only one who can do that and live.
Selina: Oh rrrrrreally? And what if *I* was to do that? *plays with the ears of his cowl*
Bruce: You and J'onn, then.
Alfred: *ahem.*
Bruce: You, J'onn and Alfred.
Clark: *leaves the room--when the door shuts, giggles can be heard.*
Bruce: *looks around.*
Alfred: What's wrong, Sir?
Bruce: Where did I put the Kryptonite? Clark will regret laughing when the Puppet Batman attacks!
Selina: *blinks, gets up and walks out of the room.*
Bruce: *watches, and hears loud laughter join the giggles.*
Bruce: *broods*
Alfred: It could be worse, sir.
Bruce: Oh yeah? How so?
Alfred: Miss Barbara could be here.
Bruce: Thank you. That's comforting.
Alfred: *silence.*
Bruce: Did you call her?
Alfred: No, Sir. I called Master Dick. Miss Barbara said she couldn't wait to see you.
Bruce: *facepalm.*
Alfred: You may wish to be careful doing that sir. I've not had much experience in finding felt noses before. Well, except for that time when you were ten...
Bruce: AH! Don't! Bad Alfred! You swore you would never again mention the Fuzzy Bear Incident!
J'onn: I believe I shall not ask about this.
Bruce: Good! Because I don't think you could be mindwiped afterwards!
J'onn: Neither do I, especially after I find out something so... *feels the puppet-Bat-glare* secret.
Bruce: *drums fingers on new sequinned Phoenix emblem*
J'onn: Subtle, isn't he?
Alfred: It's practically an art form.
J'onn: The puppet version of the Phoenix costume is interesting. Can you make a puppet Phoenix fire around you?
Bruce: I...Am...Bat-Phoenix! *Felt surrounds him, and he falls.*
J'onn: Perhaps you should wait until you are normal again.
Bruce: *glares* Perhaps.
Noises from the other side of the door: *laughter*
Bruce: And I'd better not be finding any notes about that in any notebooks when I'm back to normal!
Clark, on the other side of the door: Not a word, Bruce!
Clark: *secretly makes notations.*
J'onn: Shall I hide you once he is normal?
Clark: No, I don't think so. This will be hidden where he can't reach it. *calls Aquaman.*
Aquaman: You want me to hide a page from a notebook at the bottom of the ocean---under a rock--beneath the city of Atlantis--near a volcano?!
Clark: Why, yes!
Aquaman: Again?
Clark: ......
Aquaman: You've hidden notebooks there before. Something about Dark Phoenix.
Clark: Dark Phoenix?!
Aquaman: Wait, no. That was the you who came back in time. Not the you now, the you that will be.
Clark: I hate time travel.
Dick, entering: You just need to have the right knack for it! Sometimes I don't even notice I've done it...
Clark: Like now?
Dick: Eh?
Clark: Weren't you coming with Babs?
Dick: *looks around* Oh. Oops. *vanishes*
Dick: *reappears with Babs.*
Babs: *Slaps him.* How could you leave me behind?!
Dick: Sorry. Ow. Enough with the hitting!
Bruce: *glares at everyone.*
J'onn: *Briefly walks away--laughter can be heard in their minds before he walks back in.*
Babs: So, where's the star of the hour?
Bruce: *swivels in chair* Right here, where did you expect me to be?
Babs: Well, I was...
Bruce: And don't you *dare* say Sesame Street!
Babs: I won't, I promise!
Dick: Can't you transform back? You're a Phoenix.
Bruce: *glares at J'onn and points.* HE had a similar idea.
Dick: And?
Bruce: See the pile of felt in the corner? That's my Phoenix effect.
Babs: What felt?
Bruce: The flame-red sheets just... it *was* there!
Babs: It disappeared?
Bruce: You think this might be temporary?
Dick: *shakes head* Nope, it's not that. *looks into empty part of room* Is it, Cass?
Cass: *delurks* I was waiting for some more. I've got an idea of a new costume Tim could wear.
Bruce: Do you promise not to laugh, Cass?
Cass: Yes. If you promise to be teddy bear for afternoon. Never had one before.
Bruce: *silent surprise.* If I generated more Phoenix Effect felt, would that make you happy?
Cass: Yes, please!
Bruce: *Phoenix effect 5 times--the felt is collected by Cass.*
Babs: *blinks* Why can't you do anything useful like that?
Dick: Um... because I'm a Phoenix, not a textile store? And Not-puppet? See? *presses her hand to his face* Not puppet.
Babs: Bruce? Could you please make a plushie?
Bruce: You had a childhood. You have a plushie of the the entire Bat Clan--and Superman.
Babs: *pouts.*
Bruce: I don't have a tolerance for pouting, since I'm a puppet...
Babs: *pouts more.*
Bruce: *sighs* *generates more felt for her.*
Dick: *pats Bruce's head* Don't worry, it's not as if any of us could get between Babs and what she wants anyway...
Bruce: Hey, stop that! What did I say about patting my head?
Dick: I don't know, I wasn't here. Something about it being wacky fun for the whole family?
Bruce: *Bat glare.*
Dick: Right--not patting Bruce's felt head.
J'onn: *Amused.*
Bruce: J'onn? Why are you still here?
J'onn: This is more entertaining than my Choco Addicts Anonymous group.
Bruce: So nice to be the source of your entertainment.
J'onn: *smirks.*
Bruce: *facepalm.* *Nose falls off.*
Alfred: I did warn you about that.
Bruce: ....
...I never had to worry about things like this.
J'onn: That was before you were turned into a wee little puppet man, I expect.
Everyone: *laughs*
Bruce: *glares.*
Superman: Here's your nose. *trying to keep a straight face.* (he wasn't the only one)
Bruce: *quietly takes the nose.* Turn around everyone. I need privacy to put on my nose.
Everyone: *Turns, snickering.*
Bruce: *Uses the stapler to make it stay put.* Everyone can turn around now.
Alfred: You look as good as new, sir.
Bruce: Thank you.
Selina: And nobody would ever suspect who you are, not with that nose piercing!
Bruce: *sigh*
Cass: You be teddy bear?
Bruce: For the last time--no!
Cass: Only teddy with nose piercing in the world!
Bruce: *stares.*
Babs: I'm in the weirdest superhero family of them all!
Dick: How about th...*suddenly muffled by a hand*
Babs: The. Weirdest. Superhero. Family. Of. Them. All!
Bruce: *smirks.*
Superman: I wonder how it would look if you tried to patrol Gotham as a puppet.
Bruce: *glares.*
Dick: They would drop from laughter, and Bruce could drag them to the police station. He'd get there by next week!
Bruce: What did I do to deserve this?
Alfred: Shall I get the list?
Bruce: Et tu, Alfred?
Alfred: A joke, sir.
Superman: Maybe it's karma?
Bruce: Karma possessed me?
Superman: Not that Karma. Regular karma.
Alfred: *smirks.*
Bruce: Karma? Then what did I do that would account for all this?
Alfred: My guess? It's the fourth wall effect...
Everyone: Hey! Shhhh! What fourth wall? etc
Alfred: ...and that the effects of what *all* your writers do with you is coming back on you.
Bruce: Why me?
Alfred: Why not?
Bruce: Then wha...
Alfred: You do *not* want to know...
Bruce: I'll go on strike!
Alfred: Sir, you don't get paid.
Bruce: Right. I'll quit being a superhero!
Alfred: The Joker would rule Gotham.
Bruce: Oh. *starts crying.*
Alfred: Puppets are an excitable breed.
Clark: *stares*
Dick: *follows what Clark is staring at*
Babs: *innocently pulling strings* What?
Alfred: Please do not pull Master Bruce's strings. He's emotional enough.
Babs: But I always wanted to be a Puppet Master!
Alfred: *raises eyebrows.*
Babs: *lets go of strings.*
Alfred: Children. *Shakes head.*
Bruce: Hold me? It's too far to walk with tiny legs.
Alfred: Flashbacks to taking care of you as a child are imminent.
Bruce: I promise I won't make you change diapers.
Alfred: Deal.
Bruce: *is carried to the Batcave.*
Alfred: If you can make it down the stairs, we'll know you're fine.
Bruce: *falls down the stairs--is attacked by bats.*
Alfred: It would seem they don't recognize you.
Bruce: Ya think?!
Alfred: I have been known to, Sir. I'm even said to have a rather dry wit.
Bruce: At the moment I'll settle for a dry martini.
Alfred: Are you sure this is the right time to be drinking, young man?
Bruce: Well, I got turned into a puppet, the drink couldn't make things any stranger, and all in all it's been a *very* long day.
Alfred: It could soak into your felt. And it's only 10.30 in the morning.
Bruce: *Facepalm*
Alfred: Sir, can puppets eat? Perhaps your blood sugar is low.
Bruce: My blood is probably felt, too.
Alfred: I'll bring you some lint from my cleaning.
Bruce: Well, I've already eaten a hamburger...
Alfred: Do you mean the hamburger-pattern novelty cushion?
Bruce: ...
...Yes.
Alfred: In an hour, we'll see if you can generate a real Phoenix Effect.
Bruce: And if it's still felt?
Alfred: Well, then Miss Cassandra will be pleased. She'll have plenty of felt to create plushies of the JLA!
Bruce: Great, we can start our own line of toys from right here in the Batcave.
Alfred: *thinking*
Bruce: Hey! No selling puppet-me in your mind!
Alfred: I was merely wondering if Master Timothy had seen you.
*motorcycle pulls into the Batcave.*
Tim: Alfred, have you seen--*stops in surprise.*
Bruce: Tim?
Tim: Well--it's better than the time you were turned into a kid--or the time you were turned into a girl. How long will it last?
Bruce: No idea.
Tim: Huh. Well, I'll take over patrol for you. *leaves.*
Bruce: He handled it well.
Alfred: Too well.
*They hear laughter from upstairs.*
Alfred: Much better.
Bruce: I guess he hasn't heard Batgirl's plans yet... and you may not tell him!
Dick: I take it you've seen Bruce.
Tim: YES!!!
Dick: We need a support group for the weirdness of the superhero life.
Tim: I thought this was it? We all gather around and mock Bruce...
Clark: He's right.
Tim: By the way, can he transform to Phoenix while a puppet?
Dick: Well, the Phoenix effect is felt, and falls on the floor--Cass is using it for plushies.
Tim: Excuse me.
*He leaves, and everyone hears laughter.*
Dick: Just wait until he hears the rest of her plan!
Tim: *sticks head back in* What was that?
Dick: Nothing!
J'onn: Could the plushies have superpowers now? They contain the Phoenix effect.
Clark: I don't want to think about that. Thousands of toys attacking--going Dark Phoenix.
Context Free Theatre presents: Bruce the Wee Little Puppet Man!
Clark: What happened to you?
Bruce: Zatanna tried to mindwipe me again--things went badly.
Clark: So I see.
J'onn: *Amused, and staring.* You have become cute, rather than glowering. *pats his puppet cowl.*
Bruce: You're the only one who can do that and live.
Selina: Oh rrrrrreally? And what if *I* was to do that? *plays with the ears of his cowl*
Bruce: You and J'onn, then.
Alfred: *ahem.*
Bruce: You, J'onn and Alfred.
Clark: *leaves the room--when the door shuts, giggles can be heard.*
Bruce: *looks around.*
Alfred: What's wrong, Sir?
Bruce: Where did I put the Kryptonite? Clark will regret laughing when the Puppet Batman attacks!
Selina: *blinks, gets up and walks out of the room.*
Bruce: *watches, and hears loud laughter join the giggles.*
Bruce: *broods*
Alfred: It could be worse, sir.
Bruce: Oh yeah? How so?
Alfred: Miss Barbara could be here.
Bruce: Thank you. That's comforting.
Alfred: *silence.*
Bruce: Did you call her?
Alfred: No, Sir. I called Master Dick. Miss Barbara said she couldn't wait to see you.
Bruce: *facepalm.*
Alfred: You may wish to be careful doing that sir. I've not had much experience in finding felt noses before. Well, except for that time when you were ten...
Bruce: AH! Don't! Bad Alfred! You swore you would never again mention the Fuzzy Bear Incident!
J'onn: I believe I shall not ask about this.
Bruce: Good! Because I don't think you could be mindwiped afterwards!
J'onn: Neither do I, especially after I find out something so... *feels the puppet-Bat-glare* secret.
Bruce: *drums fingers on new sequinned Phoenix emblem*
J'onn: Subtle, isn't he?
Alfred: It's practically an art form.
J'onn: The puppet version of the Phoenix costume is interesting. Can you make a puppet Phoenix fire around you?
Bruce: I...Am...Bat-Phoenix! *Felt surrounds him, and he falls.*
J'onn: Perhaps you should wait until you are normal again.
Bruce: *glares* Perhaps.
Noises from the other side of the door: *laughter*
Bruce: And I'd better not be finding any notes about that in any notebooks when I'm back to normal!
Clark, on the other side of the door: Not a word, Bruce!
Clark: *secretly makes notations.*
J'onn: Shall I hide you once he is normal?
Clark: No, I don't think so. This will be hidden where he can't reach it. *calls Aquaman.*
Aquaman: You want me to hide a page from a notebook at the bottom of the ocean---under a rock--beneath the city of Atlantis--near a volcano?!
Clark: Why, yes!
Aquaman: Again?
Clark: ......
Aquaman: You've hidden notebooks there before. Something about Dark Phoenix.
Clark: Dark Phoenix?!
Aquaman: Wait, no. That was the you who came back in time. Not the you now, the you that will be.
Clark: I hate time travel.
Dick, entering: You just need to have the right knack for it! Sometimes I don't even notice I've done it...
Clark: Like now?
Dick: Eh?
Clark: Weren't you coming with Babs?
Dick: *looks around* Oh. Oops. *vanishes*
Dick: *reappears with Babs.*
Babs: *Slaps him.* How could you leave me behind?!
Dick: Sorry. Ow. Enough with the hitting!
Bruce: *glares at everyone.*
J'onn: *Briefly walks away--laughter can be heard in their minds before he walks back in.*
Babs: So, where's the star of the hour?
Bruce: *swivels in chair* Right here, where did you expect me to be?
Babs: Well, I was...
Bruce: And don't you *dare* say Sesame Street!
Babs: I won't, I promise!
Dick: Can't you transform back? You're a Phoenix.
Bruce: *glares at J'onn and points.* HE had a similar idea.
Dick: And?
Bruce: See the pile of felt in the corner? That's my Phoenix effect.
Babs: What felt?
Bruce: The flame-red sheets just... it *was* there!
Babs: It disappeared?
Bruce: You think this might be temporary?
Dick: *shakes head* Nope, it's not that. *looks into empty part of room* Is it, Cass?
Cass: *delurks* I was waiting for some more. I've got an idea of a new costume Tim could wear.
Bruce: Do you promise not to laugh, Cass?
Cass: Yes. If you promise to be teddy bear for afternoon. Never had one before.
Bruce: *silent surprise.* If I generated more Phoenix Effect felt, would that make you happy?
Cass: Yes, please!
Bruce: *Phoenix effect 5 times--the felt is collected by Cass.*
Babs: *blinks* Why can't you do anything useful like that?
Dick: Um... because I'm a Phoenix, not a textile store? And Not-puppet? See? *presses her hand to his face* Not puppet.
Babs: Bruce? Could you please make a plushie?
Bruce: You had a childhood. You have a plushie of the the entire Bat Clan--and Superman.
Babs: *pouts.*
Bruce: I don't have a tolerance for pouting, since I'm a puppet...
Babs: *pouts more.*
Bruce: *sighs* *generates more felt for her.*
Dick: *pats Bruce's head* Don't worry, it's not as if any of us could get between Babs and what she wants anyway...
Bruce: Hey, stop that! What did I say about patting my head?
Dick: I don't know, I wasn't here. Something about it being wacky fun for the whole family?
Bruce: *Bat glare.*
Dick: Right--not patting Bruce's felt head.
J'onn: *Amused.*
Bruce: J'onn? Why are you still here?
J'onn: This is more entertaining than my Choco Addicts Anonymous group.
Bruce: So nice to be the source of your entertainment.
J'onn: *smirks.*
Bruce: *facepalm.* *Nose falls off.*
Alfred: I did warn you about that.
Bruce: ....
...I never had to worry about things like this.
J'onn: That was before you were turned into a wee little puppet man, I expect.
Everyone: *laughs*
Bruce: *glares.*
Superman: Here's your nose. *trying to keep a straight face.* (he wasn't the only one)
Bruce: *quietly takes the nose.* Turn around everyone. I need privacy to put on my nose.
Everyone: *Turns, snickering.*
Bruce: *Uses the stapler to make it stay put.* Everyone can turn around now.
Alfred: You look as good as new, sir.
Bruce: Thank you.
Selina: And nobody would ever suspect who you are, not with that nose piercing!
Bruce: *sigh*
Cass: You be teddy bear?
Bruce: For the last time--no!
Cass: Only teddy with nose piercing in the world!
Bruce: *stares.*
Babs: I'm in the weirdest superhero family of them all!
Dick: How about th...*suddenly muffled by a hand*
Babs: The. Weirdest. Superhero. Family. Of. Them. All!
Bruce: *smirks.*
Superman: I wonder how it would look if you tried to patrol Gotham as a puppet.
Bruce: *glares.*
Dick: They would drop from laughter, and Bruce could drag them to the police station. He'd get there by next week!
Bruce: What did I do to deserve this?
Alfred: Shall I get the list?
Bruce: Et tu, Alfred?
Alfred: A joke, sir.
Superman: Maybe it's karma?
Bruce: Karma possessed me?
Superman: Not that Karma. Regular karma.
Alfred: *smirks.*
Bruce: Karma? Then what did I do that would account for all this?
Alfred: My guess? It's the fourth wall effect...
Everyone: Hey! Shhhh! What fourth wall? etc
Alfred: ...and that the effects of what *all* your writers do with you is coming back on you.
Bruce: Why me?
Alfred: Why not?
Bruce: Then wha...
Alfred: You do *not* want to know...
Bruce: I'll go on strike!
Alfred: Sir, you don't get paid.
Bruce: Right. I'll quit being a superhero!
Alfred: The Joker would rule Gotham.
Bruce: Oh. *starts crying.*
Alfred: Puppets are an excitable breed.
Clark: *stares*
Dick: *follows what Clark is staring at*
Babs: *innocently pulling strings* What?
Alfred: Please do not pull Master Bruce's strings. He's emotional enough.
Babs: But I always wanted to be a Puppet Master!
Alfred: *raises eyebrows.*
Babs: *lets go of strings.*
Alfred: Children. *Shakes head.*
Bruce: Hold me? It's too far to walk with tiny legs.
Alfred: Flashbacks to taking care of you as a child are imminent.
Bruce: I promise I won't make you change diapers.
Alfred: Deal.
Bruce: *is carried to the Batcave.*
Alfred: If you can make it down the stairs, we'll know you're fine.
Bruce: *falls down the stairs--is attacked by bats.*
Alfred: It would seem they don't recognize you.
Bruce: Ya think?!
Alfred: I have been known to, Sir. I'm even said to have a rather dry wit.
Bruce: At the moment I'll settle for a dry martini.
Alfred: Are you sure this is the right time to be drinking, young man?
Bruce: Well, I got turned into a puppet, the drink couldn't make things any stranger, and all in all it's been a *very* long day.
Alfred: It could soak into your felt. And it's only 10.30 in the morning.
Bruce: *Facepalm*
Alfred: Sir, can puppets eat? Perhaps your blood sugar is low.
Bruce: My blood is probably felt, too.
Alfred: I'll bring you some lint from my cleaning.
Bruce: Well, I've already eaten a hamburger...
Alfred: Do you mean the hamburger-pattern novelty cushion?
Bruce: ...
...Yes.
Alfred: In an hour, we'll see if you can generate a real Phoenix Effect.
Bruce: And if it's still felt?
Alfred: Well, then Miss Cassandra will be pleased. She'll have plenty of felt to create plushies of the JLA!
Bruce: Great, we can start our own line of toys from right here in the Batcave.
Alfred: *thinking*
Bruce: Hey! No selling puppet-me in your mind!
Alfred: I was merely wondering if Master Timothy had seen you.
*motorcycle pulls into the Batcave.*
Tim: Alfred, have you seen--*stops in surprise.*
Bruce: Tim?
Tim: Well--it's better than the time you were turned into a kid--or the time you were turned into a girl. How long will it last?
Bruce: No idea.
Tim: Huh. Well, I'll take over patrol for you. *leaves.*
Bruce: He handled it well.
Alfred: Too well.
*They hear laughter from upstairs.*
Alfred: Much better.
Bruce: I guess he hasn't heard Batgirl's plans yet... and you may not tell him!
Dick: I take it you've seen Bruce.
Tim: YES!!!
Dick: We need a support group for the weirdness of the superhero life.
Tim: I thought this was it? We all gather around and mock Bruce...
Clark: He's right.
Tim: By the way, can he transform to Phoenix while a puppet?
Dick: Well, the Phoenix effect is felt, and falls on the floor--Cass is using it for plushies.
Tim: Excuse me.
*He leaves, and everyone hears laughter.*
Dick: Just wait until he hears the rest of her plan!
Tim: *sticks head back in* What was that?
Dick: Nothing!
J'onn: Could the plushies have superpowers now? They contain the Phoenix effect.
Clark: I don't want to think about that. Thousands of toys attacking--going Dark Phoenix.
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I don't think any introduction is needed for this one, really...
<lj-cut text="Context Free Theatre presents: Bruce the Wee Little Puppet Man!">
Context Free Theatre presents: Bruce the Wee Little Puppet Man!
Clark: What happened to you?
Bruce: Zatanna tried to mindwipe me again--things went badly.
Clark: So I see.
J'onn: *Amused, and staring.* You have become cute, rather than glowering. *pats his puppet cowl.*
Bruce: You're the only one who can do that and live.
Selina: Oh rrrrrreally? And what if *I* was to do that? *plays with the ears of his cowl*
Bruce: You and J'onn, then.
Alfred: *ahem.*
Bruce: You, J'onn and Alfred.
Clark: *leaves the room--when the door shuts, giggles can be heard.*
Bruce: *looks around.*
Alfred: What's wrong, Sir?
Bruce: Where did I put the Kryptonite? Clark will regret laughing when the Puppet Batman attacks!
Selina: *blinks, gets up and walks out of the room.*
Bruce: *watches, and hears loud laughter join the giggles.*
Bruce: *broods*
Alfred: It could be worse, sir.
Bruce: Oh yeah? How so?
Alfred: Miss Barbara could be here.
Bruce: Thank you. That's comforting.
Alfred: *silence.*
Bruce: Did you call her?
Alfred: No, Sir. I called Master Dick. Miss Barbara said she couldn't wait to see you.
Bruce: *facepalm.*
Alfred: You may wish to be careful doing that sir. I've not had much experience in finding felt noses before. Well, except for that time when you were ten...
Bruce: AH! Don't! Bad Alfred! You swore you would never again mention the Fuzzy Bear Incident!
J'onn: I believe I shall not ask about this.
Bruce: Good! Because I don't think you could be mindwiped afterwards!
J'onn: Neither do I, especially after I find out something so... *feels the puppet-Bat-glare* secret.
Bruce: *drums fingers on new sequinned Phoenix emblem*
J'onn: Subtle, isn't he?
Alfred: It's practically an art form.
J'onn: The puppet version of the Phoenix costume is interesting. Can you make a puppet Phoenix fire around you?
Bruce: I...Am...Bat-Phoenix! *Felt surrounds him, and he falls.*
J'onn: Perhaps you should wait until you are normal again.
Bruce: *glares* Perhaps.
Noises from the other side of the door: *laughter*
Bruce: And I'd better not be finding any notes about that in any notebooks when I'm back to normal!
Clark, on the other side of the door: Not a word, Bruce!
Clark: *secretly makes notations.*
J'onn: Shall I hide you once he is normal?
Clark: No, I don't think so. This will be hidden where he can't reach it. *calls Aquaman.*
Aquaman: You want me to hide a page from a notebook at the bottom of the ocean---under a rock--beneath the city of Atlantis--near a volcano?!
Clark: Why, yes!
Aquaman: Again?
Clark: ......
Aquaman: You've hidden notebooks there before. Something about Dark Phoenix.
Clark: Dark Phoenix?!
Aquaman: Wait, no. That was the you who came back in time. Not the you now, the you that will be.
Clark: I hate time travel.
Dick, entering: You just need to have the right knack for it! Sometimes I don't even notice I've done it...
Clark: Like now?
Dick: Eh?
Clark: Weren't you coming with Babs?
Dick: *looks around* Oh. Oops. *vanishes*
Dick: *reappears with Babs.*
Babs: *Slaps him.* How could you leave me behind?!
Dick: Sorry. Ow. Enough with the hitting!
Bruce: *glares at everyone.*
J'onn: *Briefly walks away--laughter can be heard in their minds before he walks back in.*
Babs: So, where's the star of the hour?
Bruce: *swivels in chair* Right here, where did you expect me to be?
Babs: Well, I was...
Bruce: And don't you *dare* say Sesame Street!
Babs: I won't, I promise!
Dick: Can't you transform back? You're a Phoenix.
Bruce: *glares at J'onn and points.* HE had a similar idea.
Dick: And?
Bruce: See the pile of felt in the corner? That's my Phoenix effect.
Babs: What felt?
Bruce: The flame-red sheets just... it *was* there!
Babs: It disappeared?
Bruce: You think this might be temporary?
Dick: *shakes head* Nope, it's not that. *looks into empty part of room* Is it, Cass?
Cass: *delurks* I was waiting for some more. I've got an idea of a new costume Tim could wear.
Bruce: Do you promise not to laugh, Cass?
Cass: Yes. If you promise to be teddy bear for afternoon. Never had one before.
Bruce: *silent surprise.* If I generated more Phoenix Effect felt, would that make you happy?
Cass: Yes, please!
Bruce: *Phoenix effect 5 times--the felt is collected by Cass.*
Babs: *blinks* Why can't you do anything useful like that?
Dick: Um... because I'm a Phoenix, not a textile store? And Not-puppet? See? *presses her hand to his face* Not puppet.
Babs: Bruce? Could you please make a plushie?
Bruce: You had a childhood. You have a plushie of the the entire Bat Clan--and Superman.
Babs: *pouts.*
Bruce: I don't have a tolerance for pouting, since I'm a puppet...
Babs: *pouts more.*
Bruce: *sighs* *generates more felt for her.*
Dick: *pats Bruce's head* Don't worry, it's not as if any of us could get between Babs and what she wants anyway...
Bruce: Hey, stop that! What did I say about patting my head?
Dick: I don't know, I wasn't here. Something about it being wacky fun for the whole family?
Bruce: *Bat glare.*
Dick: Right--not patting Bruce's felt head.
J'onn: *Amused.*
Bruce: J'onn? Why are you still here?
J'onn: This is more entertaining than my Choco Addicts Anonymous group.
Bruce: So nice to be the source of your entertainment.
J'onn: *smirks.*
Bruce: *facepalm.* *Nose falls off.*
Alfred: I did warn you about that.
Bruce: ....
...I never had to worry about things like this.
J'onn: That was before you were turned into a wee little puppet man, I expect.
Everyone: *laughs*
Bruce: *glares.*
Superman: Here's your nose. *trying to keep a straight face.* <i>(he wasn't the only one)</i>
Bruce: *quietly takes the nose.* Turn around everyone. I need privacy to put on my nose.
Everyone: *Turns, snickering.*
Bruce: *Uses the stapler to make it stay put.* Everyone can turn around now.
Alfred: You look as good as new, sir.
Bruce: Thank you.
Selina: And nobody would ever suspect who you are, not with that nose piercing!
Bruce: *sigh*
Cass: You be teddy bear?
Bruce: For the last time--no!
Cass: Only teddy with nose piercing in the world!
Bruce: *stares.*
Babs: I'm in the weirdest superhero family of them all!
Dick: How about th...*suddenly muffled by a hand*
Babs: The. Weirdest. Superhero. Family. Of. Them. All!
Bruce: *smirks.*
Superman: I wonder how it would look if you tried to patrol Gotham as a puppet.
Bruce: *glares.*
Dick: They would drop from laughter, and Bruce could drag them to the police station. He'd get there by next week!
Bruce: What did I do to deserve this?
Alfred: Shall I get the list?
Bruce: Et tu, Alfred?
Alfred: A joke, sir.
Superman: Maybe it's karma?
Bruce: Karma possessed me?
Superman: Not that Karma. Regular karma.
Alfred: *smirks.*
Bruce: Karma? Then what did I do that would account for all this?
Alfred: My guess? It's the fourth wall effect...
Everyone: Hey! Shhhh! What fourth wall? etc
Alfred: ...and that the effects of what *all* your writers do with you is coming back on you.
Bruce: Why me?
Alfred: Why not?
Bruce: Then wha...
Alfred: You do *not* want to know...
Bruce: I'll go on strike!
Alfred: Sir, you don't get paid.
Bruce: Right. I'll quit being a superhero!
Alfred: The Joker would rule Gotham.
Bruce: Oh. *starts crying.*
Alfred: Puppets are an excitable breed.
Clark: *stares*
Dick: *follows what Clark is staring at*
Babs: *innocently pulling strings* What?
Alfred: Please do not pull Master Bruce's strings. He's emotional enough.
Babs: But I always wanted to be a Puppet Master!
Alfred: *raises eyebrows.*
Babs: *lets go of strings.*
Alfred: Children. *Shakes head.*
Bruce: Hold me? It's too far to walk with tiny legs.
Alfred: Flashbacks to taking care of you as a child are imminent.
Bruce: I promise I won't make you change diapers.
Alfred: Deal.
Bruce: *is carried to the Batcave.*
Alfred: If you can make it down the stairs, we'll know you're fine.
Bruce: *falls down the stairs--is attacked by bats.*
Alfred: It would seem they don't recognize you.
Bruce: Ya think?!
Alfred: I have been known to, Sir. I'm even said to have a rather dry wit.
Bruce: At the moment I'll settle for a dry martini.
Alfred: Are you sure this is the right time to be drinking, young man?
Bruce: Well, I got turned into a puppet, the drink couldn't make things any stranger, and all in all it's been a *very* long day.
Alfred: It could soak into your felt. And it's only 10.30 in the morning.
Bruce: *Facepalm*
Alfred: Sir, can puppets eat? Perhaps your blood sugar is low.
Bruce: My blood is probably felt, too.
Alfred: I'll bring you some lint from my cleaning.
Bruce: Well, I've already eaten a hamburger...
Alfred: Do you mean the hamburger-pattern novelty cushion?
Bruce: ...
...Yes.
Alfred: In an hour, we'll see if you can generate a real Phoenix Effect.
Bruce: And if it's still felt?
Alfred: Well, then Miss Cassandra will be pleased. She'll have plenty of felt to create plushies of the JLA!
Bruce: Great, we can start our own line of toys from right here in the Batcave.
Alfred: *thinking*
Bruce: Hey! No selling puppet-me in your mind!
Alfred: I was merely wondering if Master Timothy had seen you.
*motorcycle pulls into the Batcave.*
Tim: Alfred, have you seen--*stops in surprise.*
Bruce: Tim?
Tim: Well--it's better than the time you were turned into a kid--or the time you were turned into a girl. How long will it last?
Bruce: No idea.
Tim: Huh. Well, I'll take over patrol for you. *leaves.*
Bruce: He handled it well.
Alfred: Too well.
*They hear laughter from upstairs.*
Alfred: Much better.
Bruce: I guess he hasn't heard Batgirl's plans yet... and you may not tell him!
Dick: I take it you've seen Bruce.
Tim: YES!!!
Dick: We need a support group for the weirdness of the superhero life.
Tim: I thought this was it? We all gather around and mock Bruce...
Clark: He's right.
Tim: By the way, can he transform to Phoenix while a puppet?
Dick: Well, the Phoenix effect is felt, and falls on the floor--Cass is using it for plushies.
Tim: Excuse me.
*He leaves, and everyone hears laughter.*
Dick: Just wait until he hears the rest of her plan!
Tim: *sticks head back in* What was that?
Dick: Nothing!
J'onn: Could the plushies have superpowers now? They contain the Phoenix effect.
Clark: I don't want to think about that. Thousands of toys attacking--going Dark Phoenix. <i?(Rachel: Based on a little cartoon of the plushies coming to life that someone once drew. :D)</i>
</lj-cut>
And here's a little thought of what might happen if Batman wasn't needed anymore.
<lj-cut text="Context Free Vignettes presents: Bruce and the Amazing Polkadotted Spandex"
Context Free Vignettes presents: Bruce and the Amazing Polkadotted Spandex
<i>Anna1: The equivalent of Hell for Batman would have to be all the criminals deciding to be good. And Batman never being needed again. :lol:
Sean DC: Or a trip to the modern-day writer's pit...</i>
Superman: Hey, you can stop wearing your costume.
Batman: But I need it!
Superman: Don't make me tear the costume off!
Batman: I want my costume--I need it!
Superman: You're crazy. *tears Batman's costume off.*
Flash: *walks in.* I knew it! *runs out.* <i>(who didn't?!)</i>
Batman: That rumor will get around the Watchtower in 5 seconds.
Batman: *picks up the scraps of costume.*
Superman: *looks away.* You should wear something under that.
Batman: But it itches...may I please have some clothes?
Superman: Itches?
Batman: You try to wear long underwear in the dead of winter, and have it freeze to the spandex in your costume! Not fun!
Superman: *winces.* One of the advantages of having eye-beams and all the heat-related superpowers.
Bruce: Yes, but some of us need to trade extra insulation for armour and can I help you Wonder Woman?
Diana, peeking around door: What? Oh... no, everything's juuust right. Excuse me boys (backs out).
Bruce: Perfect. Juuuust perfect.
Diana: You were right, Wally!
Bruce: *puts a tiny scrap of cloth in front of himself.*
Diana: *pops in* I have clothing if you need it. *tosses a dress.*
Bruce: *looks at dress.* I hate you.
Diana: Now you know how Tim and Dick felt!
Clark: You look...nice.
Bruce: In pink polka dots?!
Clark: Well...yeah.
Bruce: Tim and Dick... oh no.
Clark: Oh no?
Bruce: ...and Barbara.
Clark: Oh no.
Diana: Oh yes.
*a computer screen showing the Oracle's green head emblem, and text*: Oh yes, Batman, oh yes!
Bruce: She's always watching.
Babs: Yep.
Bruce: Is this revenge for making Dick dress like Batgirl?
Babs: Oh, yeah. And making Tim dress like a girl medical intern.
Clark: Strange family.
Bruce: Understatement of the decade.
Flash: *runs in* So...you crossdress too? Ah, memories. Dick would wear dresses before going undercover.
Bruce: More?
Wally: Oh yeah.
Babs: Wally, you're a genius!
Wally: I am? I mean, I am! *looks around* Why?
Clark: I think you've just given Oracle an idea...
Wally: Uh-oh.
Bruce: And I'm so telling Nightwing... next week sometime.
Wally: Uh-oh! *runs*
Clark: You're just lucky that he didn't threaten blackmail.
Bruce: I just need to get to Gotham and change before anyone else sees...and you're going to blackmail me right?
Clark: You have to ask?
Bruce: *facepalm.*
Clark: *starts writing in a notebook*
Bruce: You need help to remember your blackmail threats?
Clark: Oh, that's not this - this is my Phoenix-notebook!
Bruce: Don't you already have an encyclopedia on me by now?
Clark: More knowledge never hurt anyone, Bruce.
Bruce: What about being caught under a falling set of shelves and all the thick heavy books come tumbling down.
Clark: ...
Bruce: Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and change.
Clark: Pity - the dress really matches your eyes.
Bruce: Polkadot?
Clark, the very picture of earnest sincerity: Yes.
Bruce: Polkadot eyes?
Clark: Well...no.
Bruce: You just always say things like that?
Clark: Pretty much. Couldn't you just use your Phoenix powers to get some clothes?
Bruce: Good point...*Does so.*
Clark: Polkadot business suit. Huh.
Bruce: It's your fault for mentioning it so often. Would you rather something a little more... Phoenixesque?
*Bruce changes into Jean's White Phoenix of the Crown costume*
Plastic Man, pulling his head back into the other room: You're not going to believe the new costume!
</lj-cut>
<lj-cut text="Context Free Theatre presents: Bruce the Wee Little Puppet Man!">
Context Free Theatre presents: Bruce the Wee Little Puppet Man!
Clark: What happened to you?
Bruce: Zatanna tried to mindwipe me again--things went badly.
Clark: So I see.
J'onn: *Amused, and staring.* You have become cute, rather than glowering. *pats his puppet cowl.*
Bruce: You're the only one who can do that and live.
Selina: Oh rrrrrreally? And what if *I* was to do that? *plays with the ears of his cowl*
Bruce: You and J'onn, then.
Alfred: *ahem.*
Bruce: You, J'onn and Alfred.
Clark: *leaves the room--when the door shuts, giggles can be heard.*
Bruce: *looks around.*
Alfred: What's wrong, Sir?
Bruce: Where did I put the Kryptonite? Clark will regret laughing when the Puppet Batman attacks!
Selina: *blinks, gets up and walks out of the room.*
Bruce: *watches, and hears loud laughter join the giggles.*
Bruce: *broods*
Alfred: It could be worse, sir.
Bruce: Oh yeah? How so?
Alfred: Miss Barbara could be here.
Bruce: Thank you. That's comforting.
Alfred: *silence.*
Bruce: Did you call her?
Alfred: No, Sir. I called Master Dick. Miss Barbara said she couldn't wait to see you.
Bruce: *facepalm.*
Alfred: You may wish to be careful doing that sir. I've not had much experience in finding felt noses before. Well, except for that time when you were ten...
Bruce: AH! Don't! Bad Alfred! You swore you would never again mention the Fuzzy Bear Incident!
J'onn: I believe I shall not ask about this.
Bruce: Good! Because I don't think you could be mindwiped afterwards!
J'onn: Neither do I, especially after I find out something so... *feels the puppet-Bat-glare* secret.
Bruce: *drums fingers on new sequinned Phoenix emblem*
J'onn: Subtle, isn't he?
Alfred: It's practically an art form.
J'onn: The puppet version of the Phoenix costume is interesting. Can you make a puppet Phoenix fire around you?
Bruce: I...Am...Bat-Phoenix! *Felt surrounds him, and he falls.*
J'onn: Perhaps you should wait until you are normal again.
Bruce: *glares* Perhaps.
Noises from the other side of the door: *laughter*
Bruce: And I'd better not be finding any notes about that in any notebooks when I'm back to normal!
Clark, on the other side of the door: Not a word, Bruce!
Clark: *secretly makes notations.*
J'onn: Shall I hide you once he is normal?
Clark: No, I don't think so. This will be hidden where he can't reach it. *calls Aquaman.*
Aquaman: You want me to hide a page from a notebook at the bottom of the ocean---under a rock--beneath the city of Atlantis--near a volcano?!
Clark: Why, yes!
Aquaman: Again?
Clark: ......
Aquaman: You've hidden notebooks there before. Something about Dark Phoenix.
Clark: Dark Phoenix?!
Aquaman: Wait, no. That was the you who came back in time. Not the you now, the you that will be.
Clark: I hate time travel.
Dick, entering: You just need to have the right knack for it! Sometimes I don't even notice I've done it...
Clark: Like now?
Dick: Eh?
Clark: Weren't you coming with Babs?
Dick: *looks around* Oh. Oops. *vanishes*
Dick: *reappears with Babs.*
Babs: *Slaps him.* How could you leave me behind?!
Dick: Sorry. Ow. Enough with the hitting!
Bruce: *glares at everyone.*
J'onn: *Briefly walks away--laughter can be heard in their minds before he walks back in.*
Babs: So, where's the star of the hour?
Bruce: *swivels in chair* Right here, where did you expect me to be?
Babs: Well, I was...
Bruce: And don't you *dare* say Sesame Street!
Babs: I won't, I promise!
Dick: Can't you transform back? You're a Phoenix.
Bruce: *glares at J'onn and points.* HE had a similar idea.
Dick: And?
Bruce: See the pile of felt in the corner? That's my Phoenix effect.
Babs: What felt?
Bruce: The flame-red sheets just... it *was* there!
Babs: It disappeared?
Bruce: You think this might be temporary?
Dick: *shakes head* Nope, it's not that. *looks into empty part of room* Is it, Cass?
Cass: *delurks* I was waiting for some more. I've got an idea of a new costume Tim could wear.
Bruce: Do you promise not to laugh, Cass?
Cass: Yes. If you promise to be teddy bear for afternoon. Never had one before.
Bruce: *silent surprise.* If I generated more Phoenix Effect felt, would that make you happy?
Cass: Yes, please!
Bruce: *Phoenix effect 5 times--the felt is collected by Cass.*
Babs: *blinks* Why can't you do anything useful like that?
Dick: Um... because I'm a Phoenix, not a textile store? And Not-puppet? See? *presses her hand to his face* Not puppet.
Babs: Bruce? Could you please make a plushie?
Bruce: You had a childhood. You have a plushie of the the entire Bat Clan--and Superman.
Babs: *pouts.*
Bruce: I don't have a tolerance for pouting, since I'm a puppet...
Babs: *pouts more.*
Bruce: *sighs* *generates more felt for her.*
Dick: *pats Bruce's head* Don't worry, it's not as if any of us could get between Babs and what she wants anyway...
Bruce: Hey, stop that! What did I say about patting my head?
Dick: I don't know, I wasn't here. Something about it being wacky fun for the whole family?
Bruce: *Bat glare.*
Dick: Right--not patting Bruce's felt head.
J'onn: *Amused.*
Bruce: J'onn? Why are you still here?
J'onn: This is more entertaining than my Choco Addicts Anonymous group.
Bruce: So nice to be the source of your entertainment.
J'onn: *smirks.*
Bruce: *facepalm.* *Nose falls off.*
Alfred: I did warn you about that.
Bruce: ....
...I never had to worry about things like this.
J'onn: That was before you were turned into a wee little puppet man, I expect.
Everyone: *laughs*
Bruce: *glares.*
Superman: Here's your nose. *trying to keep a straight face.* <i>(he wasn't the only one)</i>
Bruce: *quietly takes the nose.* Turn around everyone. I need privacy to put on my nose.
Everyone: *Turns, snickering.*
Bruce: *Uses the stapler to make it stay put.* Everyone can turn around now.
Alfred: You look as good as new, sir.
Bruce: Thank you.
Selina: And nobody would ever suspect who you are, not with that nose piercing!
Bruce: *sigh*
Cass: You be teddy bear?
Bruce: For the last time--no!
Cass: Only teddy with nose piercing in the world!
Bruce: *stares.*
Babs: I'm in the weirdest superhero family of them all!
Dick: How about th...*suddenly muffled by a hand*
Babs: The. Weirdest. Superhero. Family. Of. Them. All!
Bruce: *smirks.*
Superman: I wonder how it would look if you tried to patrol Gotham as a puppet.
Bruce: *glares.*
Dick: They would drop from laughter, and Bruce could drag them to the police station. He'd get there by next week!
Bruce: What did I do to deserve this?
Alfred: Shall I get the list?
Bruce: Et tu, Alfred?
Alfred: A joke, sir.
Superman: Maybe it's karma?
Bruce: Karma possessed me?
Superman: Not that Karma. Regular karma.
Alfred: *smirks.*
Bruce: Karma? Then what did I do that would account for all this?
Alfred: My guess? It's the fourth wall effect...
Everyone: Hey! Shhhh! What fourth wall? etc
Alfred: ...and that the effects of what *all* your writers do with you is coming back on you.
Bruce: Why me?
Alfred: Why not?
Bruce: Then wha...
Alfred: You do *not* want to know...
Bruce: I'll go on strike!
Alfred: Sir, you don't get paid.
Bruce: Right. I'll quit being a superhero!
Alfred: The Joker would rule Gotham.
Bruce: Oh. *starts crying.*
Alfred: Puppets are an excitable breed.
Clark: *stares*
Dick: *follows what Clark is staring at*
Babs: *innocently pulling strings* What?
Alfred: Please do not pull Master Bruce's strings. He's emotional enough.
Babs: But I always wanted to be a Puppet Master!
Alfred: *raises eyebrows.*
Babs: *lets go of strings.*
Alfred: Children. *Shakes head.*
Bruce: Hold me? It's too far to walk with tiny legs.
Alfred: Flashbacks to taking care of you as a child are imminent.
Bruce: I promise I won't make you change diapers.
Alfred: Deal.
Bruce: *is carried to the Batcave.*
Alfred: If you can make it down the stairs, we'll know you're fine.
Bruce: *falls down the stairs--is attacked by bats.*
Alfred: It would seem they don't recognize you.
Bruce: Ya think?!
Alfred: I have been known to, Sir. I'm even said to have a rather dry wit.
Bruce: At the moment I'll settle for a dry martini.
Alfred: Are you sure this is the right time to be drinking, young man?
Bruce: Well, I got turned into a puppet, the drink couldn't make things any stranger, and all in all it's been a *very* long day.
Alfred: It could soak into your felt. And it's only 10.30 in the morning.
Bruce: *Facepalm*
Alfred: Sir, can puppets eat? Perhaps your blood sugar is low.
Bruce: My blood is probably felt, too.
Alfred: I'll bring you some lint from my cleaning.
Bruce: Well, I've already eaten a hamburger...
Alfred: Do you mean the hamburger-pattern novelty cushion?
Bruce: ...
...Yes.
Alfred: In an hour, we'll see if you can generate a real Phoenix Effect.
Bruce: And if it's still felt?
Alfred: Well, then Miss Cassandra will be pleased. She'll have plenty of felt to create plushies of the JLA!
Bruce: Great, we can start our own line of toys from right here in the Batcave.
Alfred: *thinking*
Bruce: Hey! No selling puppet-me in your mind!
Alfred: I was merely wondering if Master Timothy had seen you.
*motorcycle pulls into the Batcave.*
Tim: Alfred, have you seen--*stops in surprise.*
Bruce: Tim?
Tim: Well--it's better than the time you were turned into a kid--or the time you were turned into a girl. How long will it last?
Bruce: No idea.
Tim: Huh. Well, I'll take over patrol for you. *leaves.*
Bruce: He handled it well.
Alfred: Too well.
*They hear laughter from upstairs.*
Alfred: Much better.
Bruce: I guess he hasn't heard Batgirl's plans yet... and you may not tell him!
Dick: I take it you've seen Bruce.
Tim: YES!!!
Dick: We need a support group for the weirdness of the superhero life.
Tim: I thought this was it? We all gather around and mock Bruce...
Clark: He's right.
Tim: By the way, can he transform to Phoenix while a puppet?
Dick: Well, the Phoenix effect is felt, and falls on the floor--Cass is using it for plushies.
Tim: Excuse me.
*He leaves, and everyone hears laughter.*
Dick: Just wait until he hears the rest of her plan!
Tim: *sticks head back in* What was that?
Dick: Nothing!
J'onn: Could the plushies have superpowers now? They contain the Phoenix effect.
Clark: I don't want to think about that. Thousands of toys attacking--going Dark Phoenix. <i?(Rachel: Based on a little cartoon of the plushies coming to life that someone once drew. :D)</i>
</lj-cut>
And here's a little thought of what might happen if Batman wasn't needed anymore.
<lj-cut text="Context Free Vignettes presents: Bruce and the Amazing Polkadotted Spandex"
Context Free Vignettes presents: Bruce and the Amazing Polkadotted Spandex
<i>Anna1: The equivalent of Hell for Batman would have to be all the criminals deciding to be good. And Batman never being needed again. :lol:
Sean DC: Or a trip to the modern-day writer's pit...</i>
Superman: Hey, you can stop wearing your costume.
Batman: But I need it!
Superman: Don't make me tear the costume off!
Batman: I want my costume--I need it!
Superman: You're crazy. *tears Batman's costume off.*
Flash: *walks in.* I knew it! *runs out.* <i>(who didn't?!)</i>
Batman: That rumor will get around the Watchtower in 5 seconds.
Batman: *picks up the scraps of costume.*
Superman: *looks away.* You should wear something under that.
Batman: But it itches...may I please have some clothes?
Superman: Itches?
Batman: You try to wear long underwear in the dead of winter, and have it freeze to the spandex in your costume! Not fun!
Superman: *winces.* One of the advantages of having eye-beams and all the heat-related superpowers.
Bruce: Yes, but some of us need to trade extra insulation for armour and can I help you Wonder Woman?
Diana, peeking around door: What? Oh... no, everything's juuust right. Excuse me boys (backs out).
Bruce: Perfect. Juuuust perfect.
Diana: You were right, Wally!
Bruce: *puts a tiny scrap of cloth in front of himself.*
Diana: *pops in* I have clothing if you need it. *tosses a dress.*
Bruce: *looks at dress.* I hate you.
Diana: Now you know how Tim and Dick felt!
Clark: You look...nice.
Bruce: In pink polka dots?!
Clark: Well...yeah.
Bruce: Tim and Dick... oh no.
Clark: Oh no?
Bruce: ...and Barbara.
Clark: Oh no.
Diana: Oh yes.
*a computer screen showing the Oracle's green head emblem, and text*: Oh yes, Batman, oh yes!
Bruce: She's always watching.
Babs: Yep.
Bruce: Is this revenge for making Dick dress like Batgirl?
Babs: Oh, yeah. And making Tim dress like a girl medical intern.
Clark: Strange family.
Bruce: Understatement of the decade.
Flash: *runs in* So...you crossdress too? Ah, memories. Dick would wear dresses before going undercover.
Bruce: More?
Wally: Oh yeah.
Babs: Wally, you're a genius!
Wally: I am? I mean, I am! *looks around* Why?
Clark: I think you've just given Oracle an idea...
Wally: Uh-oh.
Bruce: And I'm so telling Nightwing... next week sometime.
Wally: Uh-oh! *runs*
Clark: You're just lucky that he didn't threaten blackmail.
Bruce: I just need to get to Gotham and change before anyone else sees...and you're going to blackmail me right?
Clark: You have to ask?
Bruce: *facepalm.*
Clark: *starts writing in a notebook*
Bruce: You need help to remember your blackmail threats?
Clark: Oh, that's not this - this is my Phoenix-notebook!
Bruce: Don't you already have an encyclopedia on me by now?
Clark: More knowledge never hurt anyone, Bruce.
Bruce: What about being caught under a falling set of shelves and all the thick heavy books come tumbling down.
Clark: ...
Bruce: Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and change.
Clark: Pity - the dress really matches your eyes.
Bruce: Polkadot?
Clark, the very picture of earnest sincerity: Yes.
Bruce: Polkadot eyes?
Clark: Well...no.
Bruce: You just always say things like that?
Clark: Pretty much. Couldn't you just use your Phoenix powers to get some clothes?
Bruce: Good point...*Does so.*
Clark: Polkadot business suit. Huh.
Bruce: It's your fault for mentioning it so often. Would you rather something a little more... Phoenixesque?
*Bruce changes into Jean's White Phoenix of the Crown costume*
Plastic Man, pulling his head back into the other room: You're not going to believe the new costume!
</lj-cut>
